Hi,
My girlfriend and i have been having oral sex for about a year now. I usually recieve more...so i havent been able to explore her pleasures quite as well. But the last time i went down on her she enjoyed it extremely but mad me stop. She said she didnt orgasm but that it was painful near the end. Does anyone know what would cause this? And helpful hints to bring her to orgasm as well?
If you guys have already answered this millions of times, I'm sorry, i know how annoying it can be to answer the same things over and over again, but anyways...
I'm turning 18 in under 2 months, and i've been having sex for about a year and 3 months. Over this time, i've only had one partner, my Fiancé (yes i know i'm young and all of that ;) don't start lol). Now my fiance has been with a few girls before me, and each one has had pleasureable experences with him (or are some damn good actors), but in the year and 3 months we've been making love, theres only been a few times that its felt good. 90% of the time, it dosen't even feel like anything besides something just moving down there.
I haven't been able to reach an organsim at all, during intercorse (yes i have been able to recive one during masterbation and oral). Even foreplay is unpleasureable. I don't beleive it has anything to do with him its my body. Has anyone had to deal with this before, or am I one of the few unluckly girls that will never be able to enjoy sex/foreplay? I'm open to all tricks, and anything that might give me a clue to why this isn't very pleasureable. Please help me, its getting to when i hear the words "sex/make love" I get depressed....
The vast majority of women do not ejaculate! Female ejaculation hasn't even been medically proven to exist.
[girlygirl][QUOTE=Quote ]Female ejaculation hasn't even been medically proven to exist.[/QUOTE]
what??? is that true?
I agree with Rutch...and everyone else here as well, you're getting good advice. If you don't already, you might want to start SHOWING signs that you've had an orgasm, i.e., as said, facial expressions, moaning, lifting your hips, breathing, etc.
when i received oral sex i found that it was also great but towards the end it did start to hurt and i had to ask him to stop it. i didnt cum, and i wondered y not, is there something wrong?
Somehwere in the golden posts, you will find an old one of mine entitled "Our Response." It attempts to describe the stages of sexual response in women and why something that feels good one instant can be quite wrong another. Check it out and send me a message if you want more.
The thing also is the amount of constant friction and stimulation concentrated on one spot often is either a.) numbing or b.) painful and then there's the occasional c.) GREAT!!
It's like scratching an insatiable itch long after it stopped itching...rather move around a bit and keep coming back to her favourite spot for as long as she can take it, but vary and alternate your approach so as not to cause pain or decrease her pleasure. Otherwise keep up the good work and good luck
well if you put a lot of pressure right on the clit then that can tend to hurt. Maybe she is getting so excited that you get excited and tend toput a little pressure their without realizing it, just be careful, and notice what you are doing next time.
There was this one time I was being eaten out, and the guy was just sucking my clit really hard, and I didn't know whether I wanted to scream with pleasure or out in pain.
my ex-gf told me that she was very sensitive when she was near to an orgasm. So she take my head away to a place less sensitive. maybe you can try that.
Mitchv3;
Proforming oral sex on a woman successfully takes some research. Doing it right will send your lady into outerspace, and make her scream. Doing it wrong will make her close her legs and watch tv until you fall asleep, then finish the job by hand. (correct me if I'm wrong girls). I've found that oral sex with a woman is divided into two distinct catagories. #1 stimulation - you have to keep in mind that with us about the only thing that needs to happen is stroking up and down. And the closer we come to orgasm the faster the stroking need to be until we finally erupt. Not so with women. Stimulation with women needs to be a culmination of slow and sentuous massaging, licking, and nibbling. This doesn't a lot of times have anything to do with the clitoris or vigina. It's the erogenous areas all over her body. This may take 30 min or longer to get a woman to the point of being ready to consentrate on an orgasm. What her body is doing during this process is starting to produce a constant amount of fluid that will lubricate her during step 2. It should also be said that unlike us, faster is NOT better. You should also be watching and paying attention to facial expressions and body movenments this will tell you more than anything. #2 - The orgasm. After you have her exited enough to be consistantly producing that sweet sweet liquid, you can start on the orgasm. Again with us it's gripping it harder and stroking it faster. For a woman, it's not so much slow or fast, but consistant. My girl freind cums the hardest when I take my tounge slowly, lightly, (but consistantly) from her vigina dragging those sweet juices up and over her clitoris. The key is when you feel her starting to react and raise her hips up don't start going faster and harder. Keep the same slow light rythem. Only after she is well into her orgasm do you do something different. Then sucking her clitoris into your mouth and lightly scraping it with your teeth will make her go through the roof. Keep on sucking it don't stop until she pushes your head back. Always go back to slow and easy. I do this 4 or 5 times before we have sex. Do this and you'll never have to worry about another man taking your place.
my girlfriend doesnt ejaculate either but i can tell that she orgasms because of her facial expression and the way she moans. maybe he should pay more attention to your actions and not whats spewing out of you.
I wasn't quite sure where this topic should have fitted but decided to put it here anyway. When I have sex, I'm quite sure I orgasm but my partner doesn't believe me because nothing much comes out of me, well I'm guessing that's why he thinks I'm not orgasming, he gets fustrated and starts saying I just want you to know how it feels to orgasm, hang on a mo I thought I was having an orgasm
Men can orgasm without ejaculating.
Women orgasm and like everyone else has said, not all women can ejaculate.
I think your bf's been watching too many *cum shots* of the female kind.
the only way they can orgasm
not true, a lot of girls dont get orgasms regularly having sex but a lot of times you can get an orgasms if you are on top, that way you can control what you like and dont like.
if its intercourse your having ,most women do not orgasm every time some times some never ,the only way they can orgasm is oral sex ,so get him to try that ,teach him where it feels good ,you might get a surprise, and love it
Well, I talked to him. It wasn't as bad as I thought. We talked about what we could change or try. Later we did some of it. I didn't orgasm, but it was the best sex in a long time. I think the little smile on my face gave it away
. Any ideas on how I can orgasm?
[QUOTE=Quote (warhawk @ April 09 2003,22:23)]i know several females who say a clit ring helps them. they say that it hurt for a couple days but was worth it. might want to give that a thought[/QUOTE]
I know that we were just asked not to go off topic, but I think it's important that I put in a word of caution here for any women who are considering taking this advice. While clit piercings do exist, they are extremely rare. They are very risky because there are so many nerves in that area, and most women do not have the corect anatomy for it. If a woman with too small a clitoris or too large a hood gets this piercing it is likely to cause serious nerve damage.
Often when someone talks about her "clit piercing," she actually has a hood piercing. As the name implies, this piercing goes through the hood of the clitoris rather than the clitoris itself. It is less risky than an actual clit piercing and is reputed to make the clitoris more sensitive. Do be forewarned that this piercing does have some risks associated with it, and also requires a certain type of hood.
Before you get any piercing, especially something as potentially dangerous as a genital piercing, please be aware of the risks. There are a few unscrupulous piercers out there who will give you exactly what you ask for, regardless of whether or not you are aware of the dangers and whether or not you have the appropriate anatomy for that piercing. Piercings can be great, but know what you are getting into.
Okay, that was actually several words of caution. Now, back to talking about orgasms.
Your right ,its love making ,not just hopping on and banging away at the woman its a loving long, long , making love the art of love .loving a woman and showing her she is the most important woman in your life,the kissing the hugging the whispering of sweet nothings in her ear,how beautiful she is what lovely hair she has what kissable lips ,what beautiful eyes she has,the little things that mean a lot to her.
you have to try new things, like I said in another post. Ice in the mouth is the best thing that I have ever done, Put ice in your mouth while you are giving her pleasure, it is the best feeling she will ever feel
WOW cunnuslover
just reading ur post was getting me hott...lol
sounds like u get REALLY excited when it comes to giving girls oral
and ur right theres nothing quite like it
YES i love it ,love seeing a woman ,after she cums, looking at her face .seeing that angelic look on her face then know i have satisfied her,it truly is something to see how a woman is so relaxed,to lay looking at her body and kiss her every where.see all the tension leave her body wonderful to see .
oh something else to add hehe
i find that i cum the best and fastest when im on top b/c ur getting both vaginal and clit stimulation. the way u angle urself on him helps to rub the clit or the guy can help w/ that too... tho the best thing that i LOVE for my b/f to do while im on top is to tease, kiss, suck, etc etc my nipples.. thats what always drive me over the top... i can be almost kinda there and he does that and im definetly there
san remo
no dont feel embarrassed to ask her where anything is...g-spot, clit, or anything else
b/c there are just things that if u dont ask ull probaly never know.
make it fun... get her to show u places she especially likes to be touched and that give xtra sensations and u do the same w/ her.
[QUOTE=Quote ]i need to know how to have fun having sex and get either a vaginal or g spot orgasm. is there even a difference? [/QUOTE]
Like someone said before, not very many women can have an orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone.
Since you said you had one vaginally, then do what you did. One way to have orgasms is to stimulate your clitoris and g-spot at the same time.
Have fun! Relax and breathe!
Sex isn't all about orgams, it's about having fun and getting to know your partner's body as well as your own.
is it wrong to ask ur gf to show you where her gspot is?
or is that one of the questions you don't ask??
Remo
Out of curiosity, why are you only interested in achieving an orgasm vaginally? I believe most women have an easier time getting there through clitoral stimulation, so if you've never achieved one at all, you may want to start there. Personally, I find it easiest to orgasm through both vaginal and clitoral stimulation at once, but some women seem to prefer only one or the other. Oh, and vibrators are a woman's best friend. Put a vibrator on your clit with a dildo or another vibrator inside and mmm...
i've had thousands of clitoris orgasms. and MAYBE one vaginal from a toy, but it wasn't that impressive so i dont think it was.... or it was more g spot stimulation since i had a lot of urinating sensation and a tiny tiny ejaculation. i need to know how to have fun having sex and get either a vaginal or g spot orgasm. is there even a difference?
Let the girl be the one on top. The man is lying down while the girl is on top but sitting up, that way always works for me, mix it up a little bit, the girl can go slow, fast, up, down, try different ways she will find the way that pleases her. Good luck.
The only way that I know of to get clitoral stimulation with you on top would be with your pubic bone. Once you are all the way inside her your pubic bone can provide pressure on her clit. This can be a problem however if you are extremely long or her short, preventing full penetration. Also if you get her really close to orgasm first, with fingers, then start pumping away it should be enough to send her over the edge without direct stimilation.
I have heard it said be several women that they can't have an orgasm through intercourse at all, and others only if they are on top. My wife's favorite position is missionary. It just gives her the most stimulation. She has at least one orgasm every time in that position. I don't think that I do anything special, I think that is just her. All women are stimulated differently, and I don't think they have too much control over it. So, try these and any other suggestion you get, but don't be disappointed if none work. I am just glad my wife has orgasms during intercourse. I don't really care what it takes to give her that.
I hope this does not sound preachy. It is not intended to be. Good luck!
This site is great. Hopefully someone can help me out with this question.
If there is a woman on this site who can have a clitoral orgasm while on bottom without the use of hands, toys, etc. please reply and tell me how you do it. Any suggestions from others would be appreciated.
How do you stimulate the clit while in missionary without the use of hands or toys. Any tips on positioning would be great.
She doesn't have the so called "G-Spot" orgasm. But a clitoral orgasm while on top is common. While she's on bottom, there is no stimulation to the clit without my hand, her hand, or toys. The other women the I have been with have had no problem with this or it was never an issue. It was the other way around. No clitoral stimulation while on top. We would have to go to missionary to get an orgasm. Now, it's different. How do we position ourselves in order to achieve this?
HGZ
my gf says that she has had an orgasm before but most of the time she doesnt...she says she "almost gets there, but then can't"
Now you say don't talk about it and to read her....but wouldnt it be better to talk about it (obviously not DURING the sex) but to talk and see what she likes? isn't communication important for a relationship.
I don't know what to do anymore. isn't it true that some women can't orgasm at all?? im not sure what the percentage is though
SR
I disagree bear....
For her to know she had 1/2 an orgasm, she would have to know a full orgasm felt like, but she has never had one...
a contradiction....
My guess, though it is only a logical guess is:
She is saying that because its a half truth to save your feelings. She is enjoying the sex with you, but isn't orgasming, but since she knows you will feel like less of a man if she doesn't, she wants you to think she did.
To help her orgasm, you need to do a couple things...
for starters don't ask her if she had one, if she has one, odds are you will know without her saying a word. Don't talk about her orgasming, and make sure that you aren't pleasuring her more then she is you (time wise). The idea here is to take off all the pressure, and you want her relaxed, not worried about whats going to happen.
Practice new techniques, and make sure to watch her reactions. Learn to read her, and you will be able to get her closer each time. At the same time, if she doesn't masturbate already, you may want to find a way to help her discover herself a little faster...
One way to do that would be to bring up the whats your deepest fantasy chat, and tell her one of yours is to see her rub herself, or perhaps to masturbate at the same time as someone else while watching each other....
The bottom line is your girl needs to learn her body herself before the odds are at all in your favor of getting her off. If you can learn her better then she knows herslef, you could do it, but the best solution would be for her to understand her body better.
Alright, this is probablly going to sound pretty dumb but anyways here I go. Me and my gf and been dating for a month and having oral sex for about 2 weeks. I've given her "face" probablly about 10 times or so, when I give her face I bang her aswell. Last night was our one month anniversery and I for me as I guy i've just always wanted to give my girlfriend an orgasm. So I ate her out and banged her for about 15 minutes until she like physically made me stop because of the pleasure... not the pain... she said it was too much for her (before me and her started dating she had never recieved "face" and didn't masterbate much at all) I told her that I wanted to give her an orgasm so she agreed to let me try again and she would try her hardest not to like push me off type of thing. So I went back down on her and continued, hitting the gspot with my fingers and licking the clit, she ended up not pushing me off but she ended up squshing her legs kinda tightly togeather with me down there, but it wasn't hurting me. And she also rolled around and that but I kept up on what I was doing even me being upside down. This continued for about an hour and I stoped because I was physically exhausted and so was she. But when I asked if she had an orgasm she said she was unsure if she did, and because she had never had one before we started going out, I don't think she has ever had one. I really want her to experience an orgasm and what I'm needing is tips on what would help me achieve that. Like for women do they orgasm eaiser off sex than off oral sex? Would it be I'm trying to hard? it's impossible for my gf to orgasm? I was really dissappointed with myself afterwards and am wanting to figure out how to make her orgasm.
Sorry about having to read my long stupid question, please reply... someone....
Thanks
My guess is that she got close to an orgasm, but didn't quite make it. This is something that happens to me a lot. On the plus side, that means she was almost there--keep doing whatever you were doing, and she may have a real one.
Sometimes guys will pull back the hood and lick the exposed clitoris. I have found that that kind of direct stimulation can sometimes feel good if I'm already very aroused, but otherwise it can feel very unpleasent. That may be what he was doing. Alternately, it may have just been too much friction for too long.
Pennylane, not all women will (or can) ejaculate large amounts upon orgasm. You and your boyfriend should be happy that you reach orgasm together. Don't let your b/f try to tell you what you should feel and how your body should act when you're engaged in sex.
[QUOTE=Quote (pennylane @ Jan. 09 2003,13:30)]...I'm quite sure I orgasm but my partner doesn't believe me because nothing much comes out of me, well I'm guessing that's why he thinks I'm not orgasming...[/QUOTE]
ask him ask him ask him ask him ASK HIM!
If you're in a sexual relationship where he doesn't believe what you tell him and you guys can't have a conversation about it, then that should be waving one heck of a giant red flag in your face. Gee let me think, "there's no communication, an obvious lack of trust, and we don't know anything about our own bodies..." sounds like a good relationship in dire need of more sex to me, right? WRONG.
After reading your posts in other topics as well, my advice to you has to be to keep your pants on until you've gained relationship skills and become informed enough about your own body (and his) to make mature decisions. Continue to ask questions and to read everything you can get your hands on (this site is a huge help). Go to planned parenthood and talk to the doctors there. Learn as much as you possibly can. Then start having sex if you feel you're ready for it, not before. Please don't hop into bed without knowing what you're doing just because he says you should, or because it feels good, or because everyone else has you fooled into thinking they're doing it too. Whether you're 13 or 30 when you start having sex, if you start before you're truely ready you'll end up regretting it down the road and that would be a tragedy.
[QUOTE=Quote (xx22xx @ April 02 2003,13:56)]There was this one time I was being eaten out, and the guy was just sucking my clit really hard, and I didn't know whether I wanted to scream with pleasure or out in pain.[/QUOTE]
yes the woman that taught me cunnilingus , made sure i understood , you had to be gentle take your time easy does it , enjoy it yourself , and let the lady enjoy do not , be rough with the clit nice and easy if the woman tells you stop move to another part ,there is plenty to enjoy with out bringing pain to the lady,
when a girl orgasms, do you usually see her cum? if you don't see it.. does it mean she is fakeing it?
help, i have no idea if i'm feeling what i should... first i guess i'm asking what does a orgasm feel like? i don't know if i have ever had one, i mean i get some amazing feelings sometimes, but i can tell if it's the real thing. please give me some tips!
I guess I'll add that orgasms can vary greatly even within the person. Mine range from a gentle release, to an uncontrollable burst of tears, to almost passing out.
If I can remember correctly, I said something like I know I'm going to have an orgasm by things like when I can't help but breathing heavier, louder, harder etc. Also, when I'm just about to have it I feel like I need him to push (himself or his fingers, which ever we're doing) harder and deeper into me a few times, then as I'm having it, it's nice for him to just hold it deep inside of me. Also, for me, and I think a lot of other girls too, I tend to kind of lift up my hips and push into him.
To me, having an orgasm is like...a really big release of some sort of tension...like just taking a deep breath and letting it out. As someone else said in the topic I can't find, it's like a wave through your body, that just relaxes you.
And yes, it does sound like your girlfriend had an orgasm, LoL.
You have to keep in mind that women's sexual needs are much different than guys. You cant just jump into trying to make her cum before she's ready. You need to get her excited. Try kising her, everywhere. Talk to her and ask her if it feels good. Try to find the things she likes and rememebr to take it slow. Kissing around the pussy before actually stimulating it is a good one!
yeah i agree w/ wiseman. if she isn't familiar enough w/ her own body to make herself orgasm then there's not much direction she can give you on the subject. only thing that a woman can't really reproduce on her own is the sensations of oral sex. its in a league all its own
maybe trying that would give her her first orgasm.
Couple things you can try...
1) While spooning, it should be relatively easy to slip a hand around her side, and stimulate her clitoris while you pump away...
2) Try a doggy style position where you have to aim down to enter her... this downward angle should hit her gspot perfectly with every stroke.
3) Try getting her to go on top more, and figure out what it is she likes... Once you figure out what she likes, you will be able to apply it to more positions.
Not unusual. For the first year or so that I was "sexually active" with a man, I went home and masturbated. It takes more learning on both parts and we women do not have an automatic orgasm built in. I still rarely have an orgasm as a result of penile thrusting - almost always a result of oral or manual stimulation.
Young women need to figure out what works and the best training is masturbation. I have one acquaintance who never masturbated when young and did not know what she was looking for. After having a child she surprised herself with an orgasm. She has said if she had known what she was looking for, she would have learned much more quickly.
We also have to share what we learn about our own response with our partners so they kow what to do. Two teens starting out with little understanding are not likely to create much more for the girl than a wet spot.
me and my gf were fooling around one time and she later told me that she had this feeling like she wanted more and more, than it finally got to a point where i guess she got what she wanted, like a climax, and after that she just didn't really want to do anything anymore. just wondering if it was an orgasm or not.
well to me, when you're having one, or you're on you're way to having one, you can't help but breathe heavier and faster, or moan, or some expression like that, and once it happens, it's kinda like a BIG release of tension, kinda like a big sigh when you're relieved of something
Pages