My girlfriend and i have been in a relationship for about six months now. Not that it is related to my problem at all, i'm just trying to establish a base; I have been eating her out for most of it, and we've been having sex about that long as well. My problem arises when it comes to her performing oral sex on me. We've talked about it, and she always says she just doesn't like it. The thing is that she has performed it several times in the past. Why won't she do it for me even once if she has done it (from what i can tell at least five) times before. I'm just looking for possible reasons for this, but if you can offer help in finally (for lack of a softer word)persuading her to at least try it.
Thu, 03/11/2004 - 08:54
#1
Fellatio
Yay!!! Good for you both.
That's one thing that bothers me about giving advice on here. A lot of the time we never hear back as to how things went and if it helped.
So thanks, vagabondprince. It's great you had a happy ending. (okay, pun maybe a little bit intended)
I don't really know how to start this...i'm still in a kind of stupor from our reunion after such a long spring break.
First i think i'll say i think my girlfriend must be able to read my mind in some way, because this is the second time i've had a concern about something, and it was resolved during our next meeting.
Next i must say, wow. I may not have orgasmed from it, but it felt so good i didn't really need to. it was the end of a long session, and kinda just topped it (very well i might add). most of why i think i went so crazy is because she played with my scrotum while she was doing several things with her mouth. it was just mad crazy.
Thanks for all the advice; i'll definitely keep it in mind in the future.
I think what finally helped to make her comfortable with it was that I never pressured her with it, and anytime the subject came up I would always let her know it was something I want, but only if she's ready.
wow
Don't get me wrong, I love giving blowjobs, and at the risk of sounding immodest, I'm darn good at it. lol
But those marathon sessions are hard on the mouth, on not in, well I guess in too, oh you know what I mean...
i can't really bring mine to orgasm in minutes but that's due to his age.
but i can get him hard within minutes. and i have gotten him close to orgasm/cumming but alas, didn't because well, not in the right place at the right time. hmph. lol.
LOL i guess im some of the only oens? or the few who can bring my partner to orgasm with a bj within a few mins.. LOL depends how hard i work LAUGHS but i can.. its possible.
and va--... you know.. nothin much you can do about it.. maybe over time she will think its ok... but until then.. have fun:p waiting.
i guess i'm the only person that never gets tired of giving my guy a blowjob. lol.
i love giving them to him and apparently, according to him, i'm really really good at it.
he didn't believe me when i first gave him one that i had never done one before. lol.
yes, it does get tiresome... what i do is sometimes i just switch off between bj and hj that way my jaw doesn't get too tired
Here's a page with illustrations!
http://www.passionforpleasure.com/how_to_give_a_blowjob.htm
Right on, demonbuttercup. There have been times for me when performing oral felt like if had become my life's work. lol
Take demonbuttercup's advice, and use some other way to get close and finish with oral, or use oral as foreplay and finish some other way. Anything longer than 10-15 minutes without a break is enough to give anyone lockjaw.
of course it can be uncomfortable...doing anything for a long period of time can make it uncomfortable.
my jaws usually get pretty tired so ill take a break and just use my hands or massage other parts of his body.
a lot of times im unable to bring my b/f to orgasm w/ just a BJ, but doing oral on him, even just for a few minutes, is a big part of our foreplay. he does the same for me.
maybe let her know that if she starts she doesn't necessarily have to finish that way, if thats ok w/ you ...lol. or sometimes my b/f will start to masturbate himself after ive given him oral then i move on to other parts of his body while he's doing that. then when he's starting to get close i go back to giving him oral.
i mean like i said she could do oral for a few minutes then tease you some more then move on to sex.
The reason she has given for not giving me head is that it makes her uncomfortable (as in her jaw; as an aside: when i eat her out, i feel some discomfort as well, but i still do it). What i wonder is that if it makes her uncomfortable, why has she done it more than once?
Rawbob: all of those are valid reasons, but if she's encountered them, she wouldn't have performed more than once or twice.
Hi Vagabond:
I agree with IMaChic, you need to ask her WHY she dosn't like it. There has to be a reason. Just be ready to hear what she has to say, because you may be surprised. Here are some reasons i have heard women do not like to perform oral:
1) Fear of their partner ejaulating in their mouth
2) Prior lovers were "forceful" during oral sex, and it became associated with control, rather than pleasure
3) Perception that it's not "clean" down there.
4) Smell: It can get musky, and some women find that body odor offensive.
5) Size: Not common, but some women do have difficulty in peforming oral sex on their lover due to LENGTH or GIRTH. From having a small mouth, to TMJ, to braces, etc. The mouth is not like the vagina in that it CANNOT relax to accept various size
6) Performance anxiety: Some women fear that they do not know how to PROPERLY perform oral sex. Wether they were told by a prior lover that they we bad at it, or just have had such little experience that they would rather NOT do it, then do it incorrectly.
These are just the 6 most common reasons i have heard..i'm sure there are more, but the key is to get her to say more than "I dont' like it."
And here's the key to getting past it. Short of their being some traumatic issue (rape, forced sex, date rape, etc) that will preclude her from performing oral sex, you both need to undersatnd that sex HAS to be consensual. Just saying, I don't like it, is not fair to you or her. You don't want this to be a "control" issue, but u can say to her, for example, "Honey, i know you like it doggie style, you say it makes you cum and cum and cum...how would you feel if i said, i don't like doing that?".....Remind her, that this is an example..tell her that having sex wth her has been wonderful and you want it to continue to be that way, with new and fun things you want to do....but that just saying "I don't like it" isn't fair and she needs to be more responisble for herself and honest with you about WHY.
Hope this helps!
some girls are repelled by the taste of the pre-cum and cum itself. when she used to do it, did she swallow? if so, maybe she does not like the taste of the cum. try talking to her about it and maybe if its the taste of the cum you can use a condom when she's performing oral on you.
Yep! There are FEW folks out there (male or female) who can bring their partner to orgasm using oral in just a few minutes, so it's common to get "orally fatigued" doing it.
Now that we know that, it's an issue of TECHNIQUE...and that is a great opportunity to have FUN!
Some nite this week, go to this site: http://datingandchat.com/giving-blowjob.html
It's a well written page on how to give a blowjob!
HAVE FUN!