Answering questions for other people

[Ducy]

Hey guys, I have a small suggestion. I figure it won't become a sticky but it wouldn't hurt to state my opinion.

When someone asks a question, for instance wanting the opinion from a certain group (Race, gender, age bracket, sexual identity) you should answer the question based upon your thoughts and opinions and not try to speak on behalf of everyone.

I know I do occasionally answer for others, but I try to only answer questions based upon my own examples. When I first became a member, I would stick my nose in every question posted that eventually led to a lashing from a senior board member. That was fine because in all honesty, I was misdirecting people and giving people information that wasn't necessarily "right".

So I kindly ask all new members:

Please do NOT answer questions that do not pertain to you.

If a woman wants a man's perspective, ladies please don't join in and say MEN LIKE THIS or MEN DON'T LIKE THIS. You are a female; yes, your experiences may show men prefer oral with a cock ring, but does that mean you are entitled to answer on behalf of all men? No.

Simply state that "In my experiences men enjoy this!"

Men, if a thread is asking about menopause, then you probably shouldn't be answering it. Just because it has men in the title does not mean men know about it . Again, you can answer with real experiences: such as: "My wife found that this helped with her symptoms and hot flashes."

The same goes for topics in which you have no experience. I too, have been guilty of this, but if a poster wants advice about love, its probably not best to answer if you're 13, or, have never experienced love. If a woman has a question about the birthing process, unless you have real life experiences as a male (such as your wife or gf giving birth and you being there through it all) or you are an OBGYN it's probably safe to say it's not your kind of thread.

It just seems crazy seeing all these new posters giving advice about topics that generally promote stereotypes, such as:

A woman saying all men will follow their penis to greener pastures and that they only like big huge breasts and to like fake ones means you're a shallow and pathetic person.

Or

A man saying that if a woman is a virgin by 20 she is a prude or that she is so moody 24/7 because of her period.

I do try to always keep an open mind in posts, and discussions, and I apologize if I have delved into posts that I should not answer, but as of late it seems like everyone wants to answer for everyone else.

It is nice to see so many people interested in helping and so many people having open discussions on sex and life; but please be careful on what you answer. It would be better to see someone answer 1 post a day and be helpful, than to see someone answer 100 posts a day and give out the wrong information that could be potentially life changing (Misinformation leading to pregnancy or STI's).

[kievan]

In an ideal world yes but I believe everyone is enttled to post and read their own opinions so long as they conform to certain forum criteria. Then again there is always the option for mods to edit, delete,move offending and non suitable posts. Well at least I have the option as Admin on my own forum to do so

[Brandye]

OK, people who spout out what they do not know and "have heard" irritate me terribly. However, I do not advocate the mods becoming censors. They have certainly removed some egregious and/or foul posts over the years. Those who post "beliefs" rather than facts are generally called to task. If you are called to task, read the response rather than arguing blindly as two recent members seem to do.

In short, reply when you have something worthwhile to say. Those who have never changed a tampon should not comment on that. And, one experience does not justify sweeping statements - do a search on IUD and you will find an egregious example of that.