Okay ladies! Tell me I'm not crazy. I have a panic disorder that started when I was 17. After my first attack I became obsessed with my boyfriend masturbating but not in a good way. The very thought of him doing it would set me into a panic. Well almost 11 years later there is no relief in sight. If me and my current boyfriend get into a fight my first fear is that they will go jerk off and that would be devastating for me. I really dont know why it bothers me but I am constantly wondering everytime I leave there side if they are doing it. I feel like I am the only one that feels like this and dont know what to do. Help please :confused:
Mon, 10/03/2011 - 07:44
#1
Fear of Masturbation
Because you know your fear is irrational, then there must be a reason, real or imagined. Could the reason be one of trust? What about a fear of abandonment in which he took matters into his own hands so to speak rather than come to you for resolution of the problem, perhaps fixing it by making love?
Men masturbate for the following reasons: because it feels so good, and secondly, to relieve stress. Knowing the latter, what is there to fear? Women have a much harder time separating having orgasms for pleasure and having them as an outward expression of the love they have for their partner.
A man can make love, enjoy the process and a resulting orgasm and an hour later--masturbate. The two events have nothing in common except for the finale. That a man masturbates while in a relationship with you should not bother you at all.
Now that you know all this, try and figure out why this bothers you. If you cannot come to terms with the fact that every man does this and that doing so has nothing to do with the women in their lives then you should probably seek counseling.
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I hope this is of help. Got questions?
-doc
What happened to you?
Evil asks the proper question. There is something in your background that gives rise to this irrational fear. Perhaps a few visits with a therapist would help because there is no way to develop the history online.
Almost all people masturbate. The male has a physiological imperative to ejaculate with constant production of sperm and semen that overwhelms his "storage capacity." The easy answer to that problem is to masturbate. We women want to think that we can extract the excess and keep our men happy. His masturbating, if it happens, is not saying you are inadequate.
Talk to someone who can help you see through this.
Nothing happened to me...lol. Like I said the frst time I even got the thought in my head was after my first panic attack which lasted about 2 weeks. I have tried moving past it by telling them to go do it and I will go about my day. Never works out. My fear is irrational since I am aware that everyone does it. I do trust my boyfriend completely and hate that this is such a distraction in my life. I know the one thing is one I am done in a relationship they try to taunt me with it but because I am not with them anymore it doesnt bother me. Its just the person I am with. I have been to see a therapist but when it comes to this subject I am to embarresed to talk about it. I feel like a complete wacko. I dont know anymore
oh but at the same time having them do it for me while Im watching is a huge turn-on. ???
You will have to overcome your embarasment if you wish to be cured - your choice - continue as you are or work on a cure - so WHICH is it?
How would you gauge your self esteem? Do you have a fear of being inadequate? Do you have a fear that if you do not satisfy him then he will cheat on you? It doesn't sound like the root in the fear is not in his masturbation but something deeper.
I have never had a good self esteem but I wouldnt say its horrible. I feel I am pretty but could stand to lose a few pounds. No i do not think they will cheat on me. I guess I see it as they are cheating on my with themselves. i know its something deeper but the question is what?