Do you fantasize about having sex with someone else will you are having sex with your SO? I have often fantasized about other girls while f**king my wife. Most usually it is about one of my daughter’s friends mother, other times it may be about some sexy lady I had recently seen who was provocatively dressed.
Thu, 08/04/2011 - 12:24
#1
Fantasies during sex with SO?
EVERYONE has those thoughts. It is not recommended that they be discussed with your SO, especially with such a specific focus.
I dont have those thoughts, when I've had sex with my wife, am I abnormal?
I cant imagine those that do are really in the moment, just my .02 pennies.
Also, why not discuss them?
I don't fantasize about anyone else (but I already knew I wasn't your average duck in the pond ;))
I think fantasies are harmless. And may be kept to yourself or may be ok to share. That's up to you. Some couples play out their fantasies and make it fun for both (with either characters or specific persons in mind).
Harmless, unless you'd say you can't enjoy sex or can't achieve orgasm without your fantasies and/or you're bothered by it(?)
In such cases I'd probably start to question things such as: whether you're trying to avoid a personal/emotional connection to your partner during sex. Or, as Spring suggests, have become unable to lose yourself in the moment. Perhaps even missing something and compensating for it through fantasies, out of fear of talking about it. Etc. Not trying to accuse or to talk you into anything! Just thoughts.
This is why you don't talk about these things if one doesn't want to truly know. And if a couple does talk about this they better say someone not attainable, like a celebrity and not a someone who either know personally.
Spring, how would you honestly feel if your wife told you she pretends she's making it with one of your buddies when the two of you are hot and heavy?
First of all, why am I not enough? Why do you need it to be him/her instead of me? What does s/he have that I don't?
Secondly, even if I could get past why I'm not enough, did you REALLY have to pick THIS person to make love to instead of me? EEWW!!!
Third, I might never be able to look at that person the same way again. Which, depending on how much we have to interact, could be a problem.
Fourth, I might never be able to make love to you again without wondering: which one of us are you with this time?
Number two is fairly childish, and someone is probably going to tell me they're all signs of insecurity, low self-esteem, yadda yadda. And, maybe. But if we're honest with ourselves, I think they're very natural reactions.
I think I'd rather know if my partner was actually having sex with 'me' or not. Unless I didn't really care (wasn't intimate with) the person I was having sex with. Maybe it's just me but why the need to fantasize if I'm enjoying the real thing?
I'm not saying that it's wrong to have sex with someone, while fantasizing about having sex with someone else, just that fantasizing would be something I'd do when I wanted to have sex but couldn't.
When I was married to my 1st wife sometimes we would tell each other about someone else we would like to f**k. She was always saying she would like to do my twin brother but I'd tell her I didn't think she could handle his huge dick. See, he got all the looks, all the brains, and all the cock, I just got what was left over. If I'd got one it would have been all the brains and I wouldn't have known what to do with it. LOL She wouldn't let be do her ass so I'd tell her that I wanted to f**k a mutual friend of ours in the ass after I had sampled her pussy with a few strokes.