Yesterday I had sex for the first time with a guy I've been seeing and after lots of foreplay, he penetrated but could only do so three or so times because it was excruciatingly painful for me. Is this unusual? Do I need to see a doctor?
I'm also worried that the condom didn't work cos by the time he put it on he wasn't hard.. then he penetrated when he was. Does this matter? I'm freaked about getting pregnant (even though it seems highly unlikely from yesterday).
my first time was incredibly painful, and the pain has never gone away (and i've been having sex with my guy for over a year) i usually force myself to let him penetrate, but sometimes a tear or two escapes and then my guy stops and refuses to go any further. i've been to multiple GYN's and doctors and all keep telling me theres nothing wrong.
lube makes the pain ten times worse, but it might work for you. if you find an answer other than "more lube/more foreplay" by all means do share.
Thanks for that. I'll be interested to see if it keeps hurting the next few times. Why does lube make the pain worse? Wouldn't it be easier for him to slide in?
wow when i lost my virginity it was just like a slight uncomfortable pain but as he caried on i cudnt feel it anymore n then i get tha slight tiny pain each time at the beginig first. but ive not had much sex so im stil getin there i think lol
[QUOTE=new_here;194363]Thanks for that. I'll be interested to see if it keeps hurting the next few times. Why does lube make the pain worse? Wouldn't it be easier for him to slide in?[/QUOTE]
well in theory yes, but for some reason, lube irritates my skin and i can't find one that doesn't hurt.
...once my guy added more lube in the middle of sex, and it hurt sooo bad i had to stop everything and run to the bathroom and wash it off...needless to say that killed the mood lol
[QUOTE=eminatic;194390]well in theory yes, but for some reason, lube irritates my skin and i can't find one that doesn't hurt.
...once my guy added more lube in the middle of sex, and it hurt sooo bad i had to stop everything and run to the bathroom and wash it off...needless to say that killed the mood lol[/QUOTE]
Have you ever tried plain ol' water? Its not thick of course but it adds moisture, might be enough.
[QUOTE=curious_woman;194482]Have you ever tried plain ol' water? Its not thick of course but it adds moisture, might be enough.[/QUOTE]
i have, that actually makes the friction worse (although i once had an encounter in a bubble bath that was fairly successful) saliva or nothing is usually the best option, but i hardly ever get wet enough to go without using anything
lately i've been wondering if my birth control could be the reason i have absolutely zero sex drive...:confused:
Yeah water washes away your own natural lubes. So water would make it worse.
Eminatic what lubes have you tried? I know they are kinda pricey but maybe you should shop around. Does even plain old KY irritate you? Because isn't that like the #1 doctor recommended brand?
Do other things like lotions and things bother your skin, or facial cleaners? I wonder do they make a sensitive skin brand for lube? :confused:
I myself have to use lube, or sex is painful. Atleast for that first initial insertion...I don't have sex that often, so its usually painful in the beginning.
Its normal for it to hurt the first time though, and everyone has different levels of pain tolerance. And it can be anything mixed together from not enough lube, not enough foreplay, and nerves. I'd give it a few days and try again and see how it goes.
P.S. Eminatic I just found this on the Astroglide site!!! Have you tried it?
GLYCERIN & PARABEN FREE
ASTROGLIDE LIQUID
Astroglide's new formula is the perfect choice for those who may be sensitive, or allergic, to glycerin and parabens. Help keep love fun, the way it should be, by guarding against irritation and burning caused by Glycerin and Parabens. As with all Astroglide products, it is water based, water soluble and will enhance the pleasure for you and the ones you love to love.
Who benefits from a Glycerin & Paraben Free Lubricant?
People with chemical allergies - Up to 20% of the US population is believed to suffer from chemical hypersensitivities. Individuals with such sensitivities can experience burning and irritation from the use of traditional personal lubricants which contain glycerin and parabens.
It's NEW maybe you should look into it! :) (Apparently you can send for a free sample, so I'd give it a whirl if I were you...)
[QUOTE=SugarAddict;194493]
-Eminatic what lubes have you tried? I know they are kinda pricey but maybe you should shop around. Does even plain old KY irritate you? Because isn't that like the #1 doctor recommended brand?
-Do other things like lotions and things bother your skin, or facial cleaners? I wonder do they make a sensitive skin brand for lube? :confused:
-P.S. Eminatic I just found this on the Astroglide site!!! Have you tried it?
[/QUOTE]
- i have tried several types of KY. 'KY sensual silk' caused INTENSE burning. while plain original KY only causes mild burning. this is what i currently use because it hurts the least, and i can only tolerate it when my guy only uses a bit on himself before penetrating.
I have tried astroglide which also caused moderate burning.
other lubes i've tried: Wet, O'my, something that started with an M, and a few others i can't remember
-i do have very sensitive skin all around, it is easily irritated by certain fabrics...
-although i have not tried that specific Astroglide (since other astroglide encounters did not go so well) i have tried several lubes that were glycerin and parabin free and supposedly for more sensitive skin...and they caused the worst burning of all! :eek: they even burned my lips when i gave my guy a blowjob after he used it.
[QUOTE=eminatic;194508]- -although i have not tried that specific Astroglide (since other astroglide encounters did not go so well) i have tried several lubes that were glycerin and parabin free and supposedly for more sensitive skin...and they caused the worst burning of all! :eek: they even burned my lips when i gave my guy a blowjob after he used it.[/QUOTE]
Well maybe the sensitive skin Astroglide one would work better though. I'd atleast give it a shot. Maybe since its the "doctor recommended brand" and glycerin and parabin free...it might work.
Speaking of, have you ever asked your gyno about this? They might have a suggestion. :confused: As I'm sure other people experience this...
Anyone every thought to ask Suki2007? She has a good knowledge base on sex aided toys & products! Damn I think she must test drive every product or toy out there and is a wonderful resource & yes, asking your doc may help. Much there is based on his/hers expertise.
[QUOTE=SugarAddict;195054]Well maybe the sensitive skin Astroglide one would work better though. I'd atleast give it a shot. Maybe since its the "doctor recommended brand" and glycerin and parabin free...it might work.
Speaking of, have you ever asked your gyno about this? They might have a suggestion. :confused: As I'm sure other people experience this...[/QUOTE]
yeah, its just that all the other astroglides i've tried were VERY harsh compared to other water based lubes, so i'm hesitant to try another 'astroglide'
and i've been to several doctors and gynocologists and all keep telling me i'm perfectly fine.
Hey Eminatic, Sera pulled my attention to your not so little problem! Wow, that is not good, you should certainly never have a burning sensation with lube. Yah, that will only make it more uncomfortable for you, even if entry is, technically, easier. KY has never done it for me, and as far as Astroglide, you may want to try the paraben and glycerin free one. It is new and just one the market. There are actually a LOT of lubricants on the market made to cater to those with sensitivities like yours. Lets see...you have already tried O'my. What sort of reaction did you have with that? And which one did you try?
When you are looking for a lube, make sure it is JUST lube. That means, no parabens, glycerins, sugars, fructose. Also warmers, tinglers, flavors or any of that other "active" stuff is a big no no! I would suggest [COLOR="DarkOrchid">Pjur[/COLOR] - none of any of the above ingredients, no chemicals or preservatives and they actually do a lot of allergy testing with their lubricants. I'll do some more research, I know there are a lot more on the market, but I'm running out the door ATM. I bet if you contacted www.littlepleasures.org they could probably send you some samples for a few bucks. I'll keep looking.
well, the first thing i noticed about the link you provided is that the front page says they will not sell to anyone under 21, and i am not 21...
the o'my did not go over so well...i was thinking of trying something called 'yes' http://www.yesyesyes.org/ but its a little pricey... also i have been identity thefted EVERY time i bought something online, resulting in much confusion and bank chaos :mad:
i used to have a septate hymen, which had to be surgically removed. however there is still a little fleshy piece at the top of the vaginal opening, and that is where most of the pain tends to come from. sometimes i wonder if that has anything to do with my problem...