SexInfo101.com Forum - DATING & NEW RELATIONSHIPS

Jealousy & controlling or Acceptable?

Sekcboi85 — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 12:18:04 GMT

OK. I was debating on a few scenarios about when its acceptable be upset and jealous or even to break up with a girl for her actions. I have had some of these happen in my relationships and some have happened to friends I have. This might seem a little strange but I am interested in getting some opinions and maybe this can help some other people who are unsure if their anger is called for or not.

Please respond with one of the following.
1.Acceptable behavior 2.Unacceptable behavior 3.Grounds for breaking up.

Please feel free to comment as to why you chose your answer too.

1. Talking to other men she just met. Perhaps some light flirting.
2. Talking on the phone with ex-boyfriends who are now friends.
3. Going out with ex-boyfriend + other friends.
4. Going out alone with ex-boyfriend.
5. Going out with ex-boyfriend + other friends to drink and then ends up staying at ex-boyfriends house for a few hours.
6. Going out clubbing with her girlfriends who you know to be bad influences and sometimes cheat on their spouses.
7. Going out clubbing with her girlfriends and dancing with other men.
8. Wearing a ring given to her by her ex-boyfriend.
9. Having pictures of her ex-boyfriend framed in her room.
10. Blatantly treating you badly for no reason except that she is on her period.
11. Writing passive-aggressive status updates on Facebook that are negatively directed at their boyfriend.
12. Snooping through your boyfriends texts/emails.
13. Expecting the man to pay for everything every time you go out.
14. Getting upset that your boyfriend spends time with his guy friends, playing sports, etc…

Well, I'm sure I forgot a few but I am interested to see the responses :)

what to do, what to do?!?!?!

GreyShadow — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 08:56:42 GMT

I have a problem,
one of my best freinds lost her husban a couple of years ago, and I, unlike many mutual freinds and family didn't bail on her or tried to grift out some inheritance .
Infact, I went through similar years ago after a bad auto wreck (me vs a DUI, I lost) and all my freinds did the same to me, so I hated to see her hurt in this way on top of everything else, so I took the role as shoulder to cry on and a boot to the butt to keep her moving when needed...

but now, she put the move on me :eek: I don't want to take advantage of a greif rebound, but at the same time I haven't been with anyone since my own tragedy (I had convinced myself that a scarred, slightly gimpy, cynical loner like me could never have anyone show that kind of interest in me) .

I feel guilty for thinking about sex with her, worried how things would change if I did (or if I even could), flattered, and honestly, bit scared too about the whole situation because things like this NEVER happen to me, I'm always the 'buddy' never the 'boyfreind', women I'm freinds with just never think of me as anythng more ....

to show you how comfortable our freindship is, we'd can talk as she dresses and I'm standing in the doorway of her bedroom and never had that awkward tension, we'd have flirty banter with out embarrassment, hell, we can argue politics and not get mad or emotional...

so, wise gurus...
what words of wisdom can you offer?

I need some opinions

koncadonk — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:32:08 GMT

I have met a girl that I really like, well we are officially a thing and dating. I am 20 she is 22 and has been divorced and has a kid, we really get along and I want to make her the happiest girl in the world, we really connect on every level and when we spend time together its amazing, we have been officially dating for 5 days and before that hanging out and talking for another 5...

She lives an hour away from me, am I crazy for wanting to move closer to her (she wants me to also)

I am really confused and have never felt the way I feel about her with anyone and I am not scared with how fast things are going but am just looking for someone to tell me what they think...

Quick Dating Protocol Question...

Ephemera — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:05:21 GMT

Hello everyone,

So I've been hanging out with this girl recently; she's come over for movies a few times. I wasn't exactly sure if I liked her, and I guess now I think she's more of friend-material. However, her good friend is really cute and I kind of want to explore that... The problem is that the first girl seems to like me quite a bit. What's the protocol for going after her friend? I don't want to cause a storm. And yes, because they're college freshmen, it would probably be a storm.

Any advice? I'm going over there tonight to cook dinner for her and a couple of her friends, including the one I have my eye on.

Have I become a "boy toy"?

capmandu — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 20:38:29 GMT

Quick background - I am 30yrs old and work for a very successful company and just moved to a new city where I purchased a high-end condo in a nice part of town. Soon after I moved in, my neighbor invited me over for drinks we kind of hit it off right away in a really cool way. Problem is, she is 51. She and I both travel a lot for work, and she is extremely wealthy, but she doesn't have a lot of friends in town since she travels a lot and is a transplant like me. Used to, whenever we saw each other in town, we would have a drink or dinner in one or the others deck or kitchen and talk for hours and we had a really fun relationship that was very cool.

Over the course of this year, however, this has progressed to us having sex a few times. When I say she really enjoys sex, I mean she really enjoys sex. She definitely knows what she wants and how to get it, and the last time we had sex, I think she had about 9 orgasms - she is prolific! The problem is, this relationship is not going to go anywhere, but should I be concerned with that? She has begun txting me a lot, buying me gifts on her travels, really expensive wine when she sees I am home, etc. and I really think all she wants in return is for me to satisfy her and give her orgasms. When we first had sex, she said it was her first time to have sex in 12 years, and says now that she never has sex except with me, which has been about 4 or 5 times in the last 9 months. She is very attractive, takes great care of her body, and lets me do just about anything I want to do to her in bed - it's a dream come true, right? And she really enjoys the experience, obviously!

Earlier this week, I was home for the first time since August, and she came over one night in a robe with a bottle of nice wine. When I went to get some glasses and a corkscrew, I came back out onto my deck to find her totally nude and with a package of that KY "His&Hers" lube and she was smiling and pointing to one of my outdoor futon-type bed, as if to say "time to get to work"...

This is going to become a problem, isn't it?

might have put myself in a bad spot...

stlou87 — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 04:04:14 GMT

So I'm not completely sure if I'm doing anything wrong here...in the back of my mind I'm feeling guilty but I tend to over analyze situations - especially when it comes to girls - to a point where I'm not really sure what to do at all.

I'm in college...I work, I get good grades, my parents are proud.
On the other hand I play hard too. There's been a lot of drinking the past few months, and when I drink, I go girl crazy. I see myself do this and sometimes I don't like it, at the same time I have a lot of fun chasing girls, but sometimes it gets me into weird situations.

In a nutshell, I was interested in this one girl for the longest time- for years and years. Earlier this month she expressed some interest in me, which is always exciting to hear. We ended up seeing each other in harmless situations...at the library, out at bar. Of course, after we had gotten to know each other, one night we ended up dancing at a club and we went home together and had sex.

She had to go home (she lives several hours away from school) for a family emergency for a few weeks. An important characteristic to note about her is that she is very hesitant to let guys in. I can never really get a read on her, and so I was second guessing myself when it came to her feelings for me. I figured that our night together was a one-night thing and let it go. I was a little disappointed but ever since a bad experience with an ex I havn't let myself get too attached to anyone.

After she left, I drunkenly ended up going home with another girl I liked a week later. Now this girl has been way more open with me about her feelings. It's only been a few weeks since we slept together and she's already telling me how much she's fallen for me. It's a little overwhelming because I don't know what to do. I like her but I'm not ready at all to commit to anyone, and the whole "love" talk has freaked me out a bit.

At the same time, Girl A came back to school and has re-initiated things. She started texting me...a lot, dropping hints here and there about wanting to see me.

I guess I just don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to be in between these two girls. Another problem is that Girl B is in a sorority, and I'm friends with a lot of her sisters. I feel as if I hurt her the whole sorority is going to be pissed at me, especially considering that Girl B's sorority sisters HATE Girl A for some reason. I feel like I'm in an episode of the Hills. I feel immature, not proud of what I've done and I don't know what to do.

I've kept both girls at bay, just trying to avoid any serious conversation (I havn't gotten into any physical relations either). I don't think I'm leading them on.

At the end of the day, I like Girl A more than I like Girl B.

Any advice would be great.

Is he playing/testing me..?

springfever — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 14:59:41 GMT

Ok, this is kind of a long story.
I have mentioned this guy in some previous posts...

We have met up several times, I would consider us friends, that we have sexual chemistry. We have met up alone several times and with the group of friends...we have also done "everything but" ...which was fun...but I feel too soon, which may relate to the problems with us now.

A month or two ago he sent me a message (wen we were kind of "seeing" each other) that he was still in had strong feelings for his ex (of a year ago), that he did not know where things were going with us, and that he did not want a relashionship atm, so did not wanna lead me on anymore than he had.

I stupidly suggested a sorta fwb type thing coz I did not want a relashionship as didn't have the time an like being single, and that..I wasn't really sure I ever saw him as "bf potential". Anyway, this didn't really happen in the end(long story).

At a party of mine recentally, alot of people noticed that he seemed very protective over me. He intruded himself to my family. Was hurt that one family member did not seem to like me. Jumped to my attention when stupid perv tried it on (although he also did with cuz). Sat looking sorry for himself a bit wen I was with another guy...
...the thing is..after everything that has happpened...I was presuming he didn't like me.
Now wen I speak to him, he just says how X really likes me, and e would be good for me. stuff like that. (X is his freind of sorts, and I may of got with him at the party, which I regret, but was very drunk)

...basically, I am trying to work out if he is testing me by saying this...as in, do I really like him, or was I jus being a flirt or something? Or maybe he genuinly thinks that we should get together. Maybe he doesn't wanna fall out with friend...

any help?

jayman1086 — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 05:01:43 GMT

theres a girl that goes to my gym and ive noticed her looking at me while she is working out. im kinda shy and ive been rejected a lot, how should i go at trying to get her to talk to me? keep in mind i do actually work out at the gym

umm why?

tataa — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 21:58:39 GMT

So I'm talking to a few guys, none of which I take seriously but I do enjoy the attention. But this one particular guy I'm going use anonymous names here lol.. Let's call him Aiden. So Aiden I don't really think he likes me. For instance, I chilled with him over his house before ( no sexual tension) and I'm kind of shy around guys so I wasn't really talkative. So a few of his friends are over also he doesn't introduce me to any of them. Which I found extremely rude which I planned to tell him the next time he calls but he ended up not calling like he said he would. He hits me up over AIM ( yeah I chat a lot) every once in a blue moon. But he sends mix signals. One minute it's "hey baby" or just "Hey" maybe he just wants me as a friend instead a girlfriend. But when I hanging out with him he kept asking about getting with me. I don't believe we have chemistry but for some reason he's the one always on my mind. What do you think? All opinions are welcomed. ;)

P.S - he's a couple of years younger than me.

why did she tell me this

duh477 — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 02:05:25 GMT

This girl that practically begged me to go out with her for about 2 years and we went out a few times and I decided that I really wanted to be with her and told her that I would try my best to make her happy. she said she didnt really want a boyfriend now and she wanted to just be friends so I said ok. Then last week when she turned 21 I asked her how things were going and she told me how a bunch of guys were trying to get her number at bars. Why would she tell me that? It just made me sad I was trying to be with her and then she tells me about these other guys trying to get her. Why? Was she just trying to hurt me and make me feel bad?

Is he right?

Shnitzel — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 04:49:27 GMT

I have posted before on how I have never had an orgasm. When I went to planned parent hood to get a check up my boyfriend wanted me to bring up to the doctor that I have never had an O. This kinda pissed me off...bc its an emotional thing not physically right? Either way is he right? should I tell the doctor about my lack of O's maybe she can even find my gspot? Or am I right its more of a me thing?