I'm not quite sure what I should do in my situation. The problem is, when I am clothed and know that intercourse can't happen in the immediate time (i.e. next ten seconds or so), I can be rock hard. But when clothes start coming off, I go soft and it has been difficult to have intercourse. Well, my girlfriend and I haven't actually been able to as of yet. Sometimes it does happen that I get hard without clothes, but I know that in the time it would take to get a condom out and on me would be enough to go soft and kill it.
So my question is: If my girlfriend is on the pill and I can get hard, is it my place to ask to try sex without a condom?
I feel like this would be putting the brunt end on her and I want to be as involved in protection and everything related to our sex as I can be. On one hand, I think this could solve the problem of not being able to have intercourse, but on the other hand, could make it seem like I'm dumping the serious matters on her.
What should I do?
It varies from person to person (I can be totally ready in five minutes) but around twenty should be a good target to aim for. Just try it before you shoot it down.
Happy humping.
ok... well i advise to STILL WEAR THE CONDOM...
regardless of if she is on the pill.. unless the both of u are ready to raise a child if the unexpected happens...
as for asking the question... its not really in your place being that you haven't had sex yet.. should use a condom first..
also you will need lots of lube if you decide not to wear one but wearing one is greatly advised...
now as for going soft... while kissing and getting really hard start to unwrap it and get it out in your finger tips... this way when the time is right u can quickly add it on and jump straight in..
if it is still going soft maybe some more caressing is in order to get hard again..
i think you are suffering a bit from performance anxiety where you are about to jump in, and you are so nervous that it is going limp/soft... though i could be wrong... try relax heaps and think real sexual thoughts whilst you are about to get in. this may increase it and make it alot harder.
Good luck with it all, hope this helps.
always wear a condom, you never know what might happen!
And about getting hard, you have to have your mind in it. maybe get her to tease you with your cloths off, hopefully that will get you hard.
Yeah I agree... you haven't even attempted to do the condom thing yet.. so how do you know that is what will happen?
Why bring up the issue unless you are sure?
Like Vper said... get nekkid... do a lot of foreplay.. having the condom unwrapped and ready... and when the time comes... try it then. Have her put on the condom and include it as part of the foreplay process.
Sounds like you are just really nervous or maybe not comfortable being nekkid in front of your g/f.
[QUOTE=demonbuttercup;174456]Yeah I agree... you haven't even attempted to do the condom thing yet.. so how do you know that is what will happen?
Why bring up the issue unless you are sure?
Like Vper said... get nekkid... do a lot of foreplay.. having the condom unwrapped and ready... and when the time comes... try it then. Have her put on the condom and include it as part of the foreplay process.
Sounds like you are just really nervous or maybe not comfortable being nekkid in front of your g/f.[/QUOTE]
agreed.. just relax and you will enjoy it a hell of a lot better than if you tense. and all nervous and stuff...
its not meant to be stressful...
Good Luck
Sorry for not being clearer, we have tried it once with the condom and it just took too long... and the little bit of struggling ended up frustrating me and made me lose my erection even faster.
We have TONS of foreplay.... like for an hour with our clothes off before anything real happens.... so what else besides relax could anyone suggest?
And back to the main issue: both of us are virgins and not worried about STDs, so if she is on the pill, the chances of her getting pregnant are only as risky as the effectiveness of the birth control pill, right?
You are getting too nervous. Yes, the BCP can fail and must be taken without skipping or changing the time taken.
I think maybe it's too long for foreplay? Have the condom ready to roll and have her slip in on as part of the foreplay.
Yeah foreplay may be lasting TOO long... you penis is rock hard for an hour then it'll eventually just give up lol.
Maybe try a quickie... or at least 20-30 min of foreplay.
No its not rock hard the whole time. Just at certain intervals.... When clothes are on, it stays harder longer though because there is something hard to rub up against (I wear my jeans fairly tight) but when they come off, it's like I get too nervous.
How does frequent masturbation affect this??
If I masturbate the day before or two days before, does that make it harder to get an erection??
I agree with sera300 and demonbuttercup here.
Recently, I had my first encounter with having a partner with performance anxiety. He was nervous about stepping up the foreplay into the act itself. When I tried to initiate, things went downhill- literally. He went limp before the condom was even out of the wrapper.
My advice would be to try about 20 minutes of foreplay this way she's sufficiently aroused and you're not overly so.
Good luck and happy humping.
My worry is that she is not yet ready enough after only 20 minutes of foreplay..
I am usually good to go after that... I mean you can at least try it.
Plus, you are already worrying about that... no wonder you have such a time :(
There are no pre-established time frames. 20 minutes of foreplay usually does the trick, you are over-analyzing!
ok well no it isnt your place. but what me and vper do sometimes is he'll get inside me for a bit but when his juices get going he'll pull out and strap himself with a condom then he finishes off
Yea but you can't always trust that...b/c especially if he's orgasmed recently and hasn't urinated...precum can contain sperm.