[QUOTE=ultimojakal;262508][COLOR="blue">I split from my 3 year girlfriend last year and have had sexual contact with 5 or 6 girls since. [/COLOR]

Wow! you've been a busy boy! Have these 5 or 6 been just booty calls or were you trying to find the right person(s) to date? What classification is the new person you are half-seeing?

[COLOR="black">With all of whom I have found it difficult to get and maintain an erection. However, around my ex I am constantly hard, essentially. [/COLOR]

How does your penis "behave" when home alone? Do you have normal erections throughout the day? What about when deciding to masturbate? When masturbating do you ever have to start with a flaccid penis? If so, is this a frequent occurrence or just once in a while?

I'm kind of half seeing a new girl now and I've had the same problem, I don't take it too much to heart and I laugh and talk about it so I don't think it's nerves in particular; I was just want to be able to please her ('cos, to be fair, it is starting to get on her wick). I get fleeting erections during foreplay but when it comes to penetration it flops.

You present an interesting situation when you state that "I just want to be able to please her..." having just greeted her with either a flaccid penis or one that is only semi-erect. Where is it written that as a male you must have an erection before ever getting undressed or at a minimum--soon after? When you become much older you will learn that erections are not always spontaneous and a work up is required to create one.

This one fact of life leads many an unsuspecting man to discover that women actually enjoy starting a love making session with a limp penis and devoting much time and attention to what it takes to make it become erect! This begs the question: what do the two of you do when you start to make love and your penis fails to become erect? Do you give up in apparent failure,or, do you see this as an opportunity for her to tease and tantalize you, building your ardor and excitement while coaxing your penis to stand tall?

[COLOR="blue">Any tips? Currently trying not to masturbate but when I do I fantasise about this new girl to associate her, in my mind I guess, with sex.

Thanks in advance [/COLOR]:D

There is no reason not to masturbate for reasons given. Fantasizing is good.

[COLOR="blue">(Oh, also, I read somewhere about guys with similar problems and supposedly it stems from requiring an emotional connection rather than just a physical one.)[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

In a word: Absolutely. Positively. Indubitably. Yes!

Sex for two is usually much more enjoyable than with one. Why? More chemistry, more "sparks", more emotional involvement.

P.S. Arousal and as a result, erections, come about through various forms of stimulation: Smell, touch, imagination, sight--like viewing an alluring person, catalog ad, mannequin, etc.

One of the best things about having sex with a partner is when there is an emotional connection, pheromones flying between you, and just "sparks". Each person's level of arousal is much greater and for guys at least, orgasms much more intense. Now, having said this, if you are nervous or are worried about this, that, or something else, a condition known as Performance Anxiety can render the male partner unable to "get it up", or, "keep it up". The fix to this condition is easier said than done--just stop worrying! then explore and work together in partnership.

If you do not have problems becoming erect before or during masturbation, and, with your former girlfriend, then please answer this question: how much time do the two of you devote to fooling around and making out before getting to the Foreplay stage and/or intercourse?

From what you have presented, here, and had I to guess based upon the fact that you do not seem to be able to work up an erection in due course--not much. This is not the way to make love, even if it is only a booty call. Unlike males of the species who can be UP and ready within minutes, women on the other hand require a lot of time and attention in order to start and rev up their engines, so to speak. We benefit from this time, also; therefore, if you are not devoting at least half an hour or more within reason kissing, caressing, fondling, then you are not devoting sufficient time to her needs. As an extension, if you find yourself with a limp or weak erection and do not spend time building a strong erection, you are either giving up without trying, assuming that if an erection has not presented itself even before undressing, that it won't or can't happen is to give up without trying. If necessary, you need to change the way you go about all this.

I recommend reading each of the articles listed in the Index found at the top of the main screen, either together or separately and then discussing what you have learned and adding the information to what each of you already know.

I hope this is of help. In addition to answering my questions, do you have any more?