Vixen916- actually, I think it might have something to do with his "comfort zone" you see normally when he masturbates he is obviously sitting and when I help him he normally lays down. For some reason I think that when he starts to penetrate me (when he rises to his knees and leans into me) that he becomes sub-conciously nervous simply because he isnt used to it..we have tried with me on top (he was able to stay up for a little while like this), however, I found it uncomfortable and even painfull so we havent tried that more than twice. Could he really just be sub-conciosuly nervous?
About the condoms...no, you see I wondered that myself, so once before helping him to masturbate I slipped one on him...everything went fine. The Condom didnt seem to bother him at all.
I'm not sure that I could get him to see a doctor about it. He would be very embarrased.
I have brought him here ad he has seen this thread, but still he thinks that all the men posting on here are between the ages of 13 and 16. And for some reason the fact of his age (19) makes their problems different from his.
Okay so I am a 20yr old non-virgin dating a 21yr old virgin. We have been together for four months and are ready to take that next step. We have talked about it together, read books together, and went for protection and everything together. We knew for the past four days that yesterday would be the day we would make love for the first time. That being said we have spent them last four days really talking and figuring out where and when we would. In them days we would find ourselves very horny and him being very erect. There came numerous times when we would have to stop fooling around in fear we would go any further.... so... yesterday day comes and we thought it would be the day, yet when the time came for action he was limp and stayed limp the whole night. He and I both tried everything to help him get and stay errect. My questions are...
1. Could this problem be bc we put too much emphasis on yesterday being *the* day?
2. I helped him and coaxed him all I could when we gave up, and told him his problem is normal... is there anything else I can do to make his confidance go up again?
3. What can I/we do next time to avoid this problem?
Hi People, im 17 and I think I have a problem with my penis, ive had sex twice and only lasted two minutes each time and afterwards i was really upset about not preforming for my gf and now im with my new gf who i really like and we have been hooking up rubbing each otha and i go fully erect when we start kissing but then wen she moves on top to simulate having sex i go limp without wanting to i have ened up being very consicous about this because i would like it to last alot longer then 2minutes as her previous experiences nothing has been shorter then a hour so bak to it then wen we just lay side by side and her leg rubs my penis it goes hard again but then dies again can anyone help me with telling me how i can stay erect for her and how to last longer then a lil 2 minutes.
Me and my girlfried have been together for the past Five months. In those five months we have only really had a chance to see each other due to work and where we live for about one month or so. School just started here again and after our classes end, we go and enjoy so "alone time".
The first time that we tried anything and were together naked in my room, my roomate interrupted us. I started with a normal erection, and then I couldn't get it up again for the rest of the night. The other night we went to her place, locked the doors to her apartment and tried again. I can't get a full erection, and I'm begining to wonder what I'm doing wrong. We're both heavy with the foreplay, and both good at the oral, I just can't get an erection that will last or be hard enough for sex. I couldn't even come the other night while she gave me a hummer and then a handjob in the shower. Is this all normal for the first times? She's the first girl (other than of coure my mother years ago) to see me naked, and she's the first girl I've seen naked. Am I trying too hard? I'm really lost and I need some advice. Thanks for listening to my rants though.
[QUOTE=Quote (14yroldVirgin @ Dec. 05 2005,20:23)]IM curious, if the girl is hot enough, how can you loos ur boner... just curious.. i mean im a virgin (read the name) but i dont think that i could loose a stiffy if i was about to get laid, no matter how nervous i was... how does this happen? [/QUOTE]
I agree with you, I've never had a problem with losing it, and I don't think I could if I tried. Everyone is not "wired" the same, however, and for many nervousness does them in. Doubt, fear, nerves, and embarrassment are all big factors. It really doesn't matter how "hot" the girl is (it even makes it worse in some cases). Many times all it takes is a success or two and the problem is solved.
If you spend time reading similar posts, you will discover many things that contribute to this "problem" (mostly mental in nature). The main thing to remember is that everyone is different, and it runs from one end of the spectrum to the other.
Edit: Oh...I forgot to mention cases of physical problems that lead to dysfunction.
IM curious, if the girl is hot enough, how can you loos ur boner... just curious.. i mean im a virgin (read the name) but i dont think that i could loose a stiffy if i was about to get laid, no matter how nervous i was... how does this happen?
sorry for the double post my bad!
A few years ago i had a gf i was like only 14 i kinda like had thesame problem.. the first few minutes i had a hard erection but then it's like i got kinda nervous and my d*ck went soft so i couldn't go on with sex... it was really abit embarassing for me! before i didn't know but now i do that i was just too nervous before i just tought something was wrong wit my d*ck lol!
hey im 16 rite and ive been with my current gf for about 4 months now, and we both want 2 hav sex and hav tried a couple of times b4, but the thing is it didnt quite work. for example i coudlnt get it in cauz she waz too tight and i waz not fully erect. but also even now i hav trouble getting an erection in the 1st place wen im with her or i get it while im getting head or a hand job but as soon as she stops or i put the condom on it slowly goes away and i dunno wat 2 do???
i first visited the website yesterday, wanting to find out why i went limp just before penetration, this happened on two occassions. my ego was destroyed and felt embarrassed, although my gf tried her best to comfort me, she still told me she loved me no matter what. me and my gf are extremely close and we talk about marriage often. (im 22)
i want to say thanks to everyone who posted and everyone here at the website, although we have tried once more unsuccessfully, i feel confident that i am not fighting a losing battle. I feel so much better after visiting the site.
I was like every other guy here, convinced there was something wrong with me. Next time, im just gonna let it happen and relax. thanks again everyone!
we are both 17... and hes not my first and Im not his first... but like he has only done it like twice before he met me... but we've been going out for like 11 months now... and hes never had troubles like this before... and no i dont act like im frustrated or anything... i just go on smiling and all that cause I dont want him to feel insecure and all that... but we havnt done it in awhile so hopefully when we do get frisky everything will work...
Yea but like we tried it again today and he blew his top in like 2 minutes of me riding him... and than he couldnt get it up anymore... I donno... its really hard to explain... its all kinda frustrating tho... its not my fault im a nympho
Geez give the guy some recovery time. I imagine the 3rd time is hard to get going.
Enjoy some oral or get a dildo or something. lol.
yo wat good, 20 year old and i'm not a virgin. me and this girl hadd sex like twice and i'm just limp, noddle dick, it just hang there. i went 2 the bathroom, i started jerkin off, i started 2 yell at it, i punch it and nuthing, i'm fukin 20 years old, i'm at my prime, i should be standing tall like the washington memorial. wats wrong wit us, i kno i'm not gay, and when i watch porn all i do is touch it and i'm up. i feel that i did so0o0o0 much masterbation during my day that my penis is in luv wit my hand. any advice, sum pills, lotion, spary, surgery. HELP THIS GIRL IS 2 HOT 2 MESS THIS UP
Hi, im new to this thing and am 16. Me and my gf have been together for a month or so and had sex a couple days ago. She was my first and i wasnt her first. We when had sex for the first time i was sorta on "beverages" so i think that might have made me more relaxed(but i knew what i was doing and knows what happend). But now when we try to do it again my penis seems to be scared and goes from a brick to a noodle. Everything is good when she gives me oral and things go normal but when its time for penetration it doesnt work with me like it did the first time. So i was wondering if there is any thing i can do to stop this or make me more relaxed?
thanks for the help
Hi, this is my first time posteing on this board and i jsut have one question.
I have been with a total of 3 girls in the last 6months, and all of them have tried to get me off by giving me a handjob. Not one of them has been successful. When i masterbate i am able to get myself off within one minute usually. I don't know what to do. At first i was nervous about them being down there but now im not anymore. Im not sure what the problem is. I don't know if this is relevant but i am not circumsized.
I hope someone knows what to do, thanks.
hey maby some one can help me out. im not a virgin and have never had any erection problems before. the girl that im with now is a virgin and we have been going out for over a month now. last nyt she decide it was time and so i was all hard untill i put the condom on and my penis went all flacid and couldnt make it hard again but like 30 min later after we decided to leve it for another time i was fine. we both dont have a prob being naked with one another and oral sex is fine (not nervious at all ). im worryed bout hurting her and i think thats y im nervios if i am at all. whats up how can i over come this problem im worryed about it happening again
My girlfriend and I are ready to have sex. Her ex boyfriend was her first and only guy she had sex with, and that was more than one time. Recently after Christmas we were in my bed and she was ready after a short while and when I went to put the condom on I realized that I wasn't hard any more. By the time I was ready to go again we had run out of time and needed to leave my house. I thought maybe my problem came from being rushed and first time nerves, but I remember when I bought the condoms and tried them out the week before they made me no longer hard as well. Although she is willing to have sex without a condom, I don't want to risk that. I hope that this problem is mental and that I will get over it next time we are in bed, but does any one have advice or suggestions for me? I'm 17 and I am barely 5 inches hard, something she has seemed disapointed about because of the size she is used to. Any help would be greatly appreciated! Happy Newy Year to everyone.
As with all advice, I'm not a doctor, but it's always a good idea to go and see one to assure that everything is okay and maybe afford you piece of mind as well.
One thing I have noticed in my own life, that could apply, is that I completely lose my sexual drive when there are emotional problems in my life and specifically with my relationship. Are there any other triggers that could be stimulating this? And of course, it's hard to tune down the worry once you are aware of it, but that usually makes matters worse just from added stress.
So, take a look at what is going on in your life, I'm sure your doctor will ask you that as well if you go and see him.
Perhaps take a break from the sex life and fooling around? OR try some different positions, toys, or fantasies?
aight im 16 and my gf and i were foolin around about a month ago in the backseat of her car and she went down on me but i couldnt get an orgasm, and in fact had trouble just keepin it at half mast..since then i have had trouble other times and shes getting really down that she cant make me cum. i masturbate enof to know that i CAN but i have noticed lately that its getting harder to keep an erection even when im by myself..could this be a medical condition? ive tried calming down but it dosent seem to help much..
You need to be comfortable with the setting. Guys sometimes have the same trouble girls have in getting started for the first time with a new lover. I had a problem once with a woman the first time we got naked because she surprised me with the request for sex. I just couldn't get hard. I guess I was over excited. The next afternoon, we had sex at my place 4 times in 2 hours with about 5 minutes in between erections. Each and every one of them a diamond cutter.
Mate im the same, dont feel bad, i did coz she though she was bad the truth is we are givers u love giving her pleasure and hearing her enjoy herself the same must be said when u give her oral, i found i was more turned on by giving than getting. us it to your advantage if u dont get much out of it but do the other way round i say let it be. if she wants to let her but other wise giving is good.
Well like I said, find other ways to please yourself or him to please you instead of just riding him frantically lol.
How old are you and him? Are you his first sexual partner? Young and unexperienced guys often have trouble lasting a long time. If you read around you see tips for lasting longer. Wearing a "lasting pleasure" type of condom. Desensitizing lotions, him masturbating earlier in the day if he knows you two will hook up. He could also try this [QUOTE=Quote ]when you masturbate you can try something called "edging" where you masturbate till you are about to cum and then stop. Try to last longer every time. [/QUOTE]
are you giving him the impression that you are unsatisfied? if you do it might freak him out and make him feel insecure and just worsen the problem.
Oka... So me and my boyfriend are pretty active... Well this one day we were doing it and he cums like 2 minutes into sex... so we just make out going into fore-play so he can get it up again... he gets it up... i ride him... we both come at the same time... But Im still horny... but he cant get it up anymore... why is this... is it because he's tired... or what... i mean its kinda aggrievating for the both of us... ha specially me...
i m new to this site.my penis length is 6.5 inches and the circumference is 4 inches,my problem is tht i when i was with a girl and we were ready to have sex i was enable to have erection but otherwise i regularly mastuburate ( 1-2 in a day),since then i am realy very depressed from that incident.
i have also developed another habit of mastuburating only while watching adult movies and reading stories,is it healthy or is something wronge with me.
every morning i have a hardon when i wake up.
As iam a new member here so wanna ask a question if no one minds??
my question is that does over masterbation lead to erectile dysfunctions???
I dont think over-masturbation leads to sexual disfunction because of this: Your penis does not know whether your masturbating it, your partner in masturbating it, or if your having sex. So its all the same to your penis. So if your thinking too much masturbation is bad, then too much sex is also bad :rolleyes:
but your brain and all that realises who and what is stimulating the penis, and since everything is triggered by the brain.....
then your penis technically knows what kind of job it is getting, from you, partner in hand job's, partner in vaginal intercourse..or partner in oral.
thats just how i think of it as. i mean, you can tell (from your penis of course) if an object is "soft" or "rough" or something. you dont go and rub your penis around your carpet, because it could give you pain in the area, and i doubt that would be pleasurable. you also dont take your penis and then put a weight on top of it, because you KNOW it wont have good outcomes.
and your brain tells you that. it also tells your penis "gee, that feels good" and " ow! that hurts!"
do you get what i mean? lord i hope im right ;) because i believe i am...
I don't think enthusiastic masturbation would cause you difficulty getting it up, but it might make it difficult to get off through sex. Hands can do things vaginas can't, especially your own hands. You can tell by direct experience what works, what doesn't, and what hurts, and can adjust your technique instantly. Your hands can be more aggressive than a vagina. You may get into a habit of needing to stroke yourself a certain way that a vagina can't replicate. If masturbation is damaging your partnered sex life, you may wish to back away from pleasuring yourself for a while to give your penis a chance to regain its sensitivity.
I hope that answered the question asked. If I was mistaken in my reading, please excuse my intrusion.
okay, maybe I'm just not much good at blow jobs, but my boyfriend isnt that overwhelmingly pleasured by them . . . I've read all sorts on techniques, and it feels really good for him, but not as amazing as he thought it would be.
guys in movies and on porn and all of that go crazy about them - there is so much expectation surrounding it I think that ruins it kinda. cos in reality, a lot of things arent as wonderful as they're made out to be.
she needs practice, you guys both need to be in the mood, and maybe more comfortable with eachother.
reading some of the stuff on here makes me soooo glad be and my bf are the way we are about sex, we are completely comfortable. I love it.
Huro there good people. I am a newcomer to the sexual scene, inexperienced, but very willing to learn. I have some stories to tell about some problems I have been having, I had read many posts here before posting this so please bear with me.
I am with a wonderful girl who has my heart. When it comes to sex I can pleasure her very easily, but I'm not so lucky. I'm not too sure what my problem is. We tried intercourse twice, both times I went soft and I couldn't feel the walls, when she tried to give me a blowjob my penis seemed to be unresponsive to it, same thing with a handjob. We just have a sort of sexual routine now, I masturbate myself and finger her. Having her naked body close to me is more than enough to get myself off, but when it comes to her performing sexual acts on me, or intercourse problems arise. I am constantly in fear that I will not be able to maintain my erection, I know this is a problem but I am not sure how to shake this fear.
I am quite proud of myself because the first time I did anything with her, she said I was better than when she does it herself, and I didn't know anything about fingering a woman at that point. However I am discouraged about her doing anything to me as I fear I will go soft, as it happens everytime.
I will appreciate any advice you good people have to offer =)
all i can say is dont worry when you are ready for oral sex ull b ready. Dont rush it or u will ruin it for u and ur girl completly
They're tricky little bastards that sometimes go erect at all the wrong moments in life....like in church, and when you need them the most they recoil.
I am a male, just turned 17, with my first real gf of about 3 months. We have tried to have sex twice, the first time I just couldn't get it in, I think because I was extremely nervous. We tried again today and I was in for about 30 seconds before I floped out. I think the reson is because I am very new to this, she does not want to have foreplay, i asked her if she wanted me to give her head and she refused, saying she didn't like it. I find this strange, but she is nervous about sex because her previous relationship went downhill after sex. I think I need foreplay to perform, and she is embarrased because she doesn't know how. This is a major ego blow to me, im in great shape and this shouldn't be happening, although it sounds mental anyway.
Hi, I'm 17 years old, and the other day me and my girlfriend had sex for the first time. It was my first time ever, but not hers, but we've also been fooling around with like dry-humping, handjobs, blowjobs, me fingering her and other stuff for... a month or two now, and we keep running into one problem: no matter how long we do it for, or what she does, I cannot cum... I masturbate like five times a week, so I know i am physically capable of cumming, multiple times in one day sometimes, but, no matter what we do, she has never brought me to orgasm, although I've easially given her multiple orgasms with just my hands almost every single time... I don't have a problem getting or keeping it up, but am I having some sort of other problem? am i just getting too stressed out because I'm so new to this? After we had sex yesterday, I brought her to atleast three orgasms in an hour, but I didn't even feel like i was getting close, so she started giving me had and that wasn't working either. She practically broke into tears because of it while she was in my lap. I love her so much, and we both feel like we're failing each other because of this.
I've read the sexual dysfunctions area, and quite a bit of the first time and pleasing him parts, but I havnt been able to find any information that seems to partain to me. Can anyone help us?
Guys, relax. It's called performance anxiety and it happens to guys when they are first becoming sexually active. As much as you think it's all about ejaculation, it's really not in the beginning. You should focus on growing as a couple, whether that happens with terrible first-timer sex or not.
It does get better- I assure you of that.
The first time that my boyfriend and I had sex it was one of the worst experiences of my life. After the first attempt, he asked me to marry him (extremely odd response to the situation); after the second attempt at getting him to come, I ended up sobbing and telling him to stop after the most awkward and painful 45 minutes of my life; after attempt three, he and I were both in tears as he started freaking out and thinking he was never going to be able to enjoy sex.
Needless to say, it improved with time and patience.
Remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I think that this sentiment applies to you and your relationships.
alright, its so comforting to hear this isnt like, some crazy medical issue, cause god knows doctors keep finding a new one every other week....
anyways, thank you again for your help!
It's not a big deal. Lots of guys can't cum especially the first time or if she is using her teeth(ouch!). It takes a few tries but you'll give her a mouthfull eventually. You could also try laying down while getting head, that works a lot better for me!
if that dont work, then sex cos thats been the life savour for me a couple a few a times! cheers n happy rooting all
I love my boyfrend 2 death, but almost everytime we have sex he has problems staying up...its hard on both of us and i was wondering if there's anything i could do to help him. Is there some trick to keep a guy up and running?
Yes. Devote more time to making out. If and when he does soften, a condition that happens frequently, just take matters into your own hand and rebuild his erection. What fun!
Learning to relax cums (sorry about that) into this quite alot. Very often when a man is not able to climax, its no good to continue trying. Stop and relax first, and then continue. What you have eaten can make a difference as well.
what is the best food to eat during the day when you kno you're going to my sexually active during the night?
[quote=Mickeyd;173872]what is the best food to eat during the day when you kno you're going to my sexually active during the night?[/quote]
Probably avoid those which cause gas...
For me the build up before the action is important. Like I find that when my girlfriend teases me by kind of rubbing/touching my penis for a minute or two while I still have pants on, I get hard to start and then it's a lot better. It's not as good when she just goes right in when I'm limp from the start.
I only managed to read through half the posts in this thread so sorry if my situation has already been dealt with.
Ok, I'm a 19-year-old virgin but i've never been interested in random flings or one night stands and any girls i've ever been emotionally involved with, things just haven't worked out one way or another. Basically, I don't tend to even consider sex unless the girl is amazing and we can connect on an emotional level.
I'm in a bit of a complicated situation with a certain amazing girl right now. She is slightly younger than me but far more experienced. She loves me and another guy but is physically involved with me and not him. We really turn each other on and have done everything but actually having sex on numerous occasions. I really want to sleep with her and she wants the same and despite having erections during foreplay, I've tried and failed to be hard the first and second attempts at having sex now. Even after failing to get it up for sex, i can get erections whilst pleasing her orally or fingering her. It's just when it comes down to actually penetrating her, im not hard.
I think maybe i'm nervous cause its my first time or because i think she would end up with the other guy if i wasn't exactly competent but now I keep thinking 'what about next time?', I can't disappoint her three times running. I've never wanted to be with anyone more, and maybe its partly that too but I don't know, I feel pretty inadequate and i'm sure that me failing to get it up is making her feel inadequate too.
Ps. im not on any medication.
Dude, you're worrying way too much. Losing your hard on is a self-fulfilling prophecy 90% of the time. Have fun with foreplay, get to know the girl better. Things will become easier when you're absolutely comfortable being naked with her, etc.
If you feel like you have to perform to keep her, then maybe she's not good for you. However, if she actually doesn't mind, and it's in your imagination, then just take it slow and ease into it.
I'm very much like you; I haven't ever done anything sexual with a girl I didn't have extreme feelings for. I just am not there yet. Slow and steady wins the race.
SexInfo101.com is a division of: KuMo Web Communications Corporation.
© 2001-2013 All Rights Reserved.