Hi guys,
I've been with my girl for about 3 months now and I really like her and I've never felt this close to anyone I've ever dated.
But when we've been hooking up I am unable to maintain an erection. It won't last more then a few minutes and then I'll either go floppy inside her or in her hand on her mouth etc. I can't even switch positions or take my penis out for a second without losing the erection VERY quickly.
I thought it was something mental but I have noticed that even when I masterbate it isn't as hard (I don't masterbate THAT often). She is very understanding and it wasn't bothering us that much but it's been like this since we've started hooking up and I can tell its bothering her inside. She thinks she's doing something wrong and I tell her it will pass and not to worry. BUT its really affecting our relationship, it makes me (and her) upset although we pretend it doesn't and we try to joke about it.
Here are some other details that may help:
-I never had any problems with any of my other girlfriends
-I'm coming up to exams right now, I'm a little stressed but nothing too overwhelming
-I drink a few cups of coffee every day
-We are VERY comfortable being naked around each other, I'm not self-conscious at all!
Anyway I really like this girl and she's probably one of the more skilled (sexually) girls I've been with so what the heck is going on!!!
Are you taking any medications; presciption or over the counter?
No I am not, although I do drink heavily (4-8 beers) about twice a week and I have a coffee or two everyday (I'm a college student).
I mean in the past, I could pretty much maintain and erection all day, and a very hard one that I couldn't bend in the slightest bit. I could masterbate 3-4 times a day if i wanted and be fine. Lately I will cum maybe once and if I'm lucky twice a day (with softer erections) and I then have troubles getting it up.
I let her touch it when it is soft, it doesn't bother me, and she'll often get it hard but then it doesn't last long. She is amazing to be with in bed too and I LOVE pleasuring her because she orgasms much easier and much more often than any girl I've been with.
Try taking it easy on the beer...are you taking any sudafed? I think you need one of the guys here or maybe doc to give you some insight. Is it perhaps nerves when you are with her? The more you anticipate a problem..the more difficult it will be for you.
No I'm not taking sudafed. The thing is that I feel very comfortable around her. She is understanding and we've tried a few different things to figure it out.
Do you think I could get a viagra prescription? At the age of 20?
I think you need to talk to a doctor....do not take Viagra without a consult from a doc. I know it can be bought on the black market, but it's dangerous and can have not so pleasant side effects...You are very young but they can do tests to find out if it's physical. Has anything changed psychologically w/you since you have been with other women?
I think if you are evaluated by a doc they can "trial" you on Viagra or a similar drug, then take you off it. I am not really up on them as to which are better and why. But at your age it's not common since it did not happen with other partners...that's the odd one & your not nervous with her. I can tell you the more you let it bother you and the more you concentrate on it the least chances of it happening...
psychologically, this is probably the first girl I have had really strong feelings for. Although when it first happened I was very surprised. I think now it is getting worse because its really getting to me. I felt like I was crippled today when we were trying to figure things out. I told her it was freaking me out a bit, and I wanted to have sex SOOOO badly and I could tell she was so horny. She was trying everything but now I think I'm starting to put pressure on myself because I feel bad.
She is gone for the next five days. I was thinking about not masterbating while she was gone and to keep some reserves. Perhaps watch some porno before she comes over to get myself psyched up.
What do you guys think?
I think there is your answer. No masturbation. And b/c you are anticipating a problem it's causing it. Then feelings (emotions) add to it. The more you put pressure on yourself it's not happening! She sounds as if she is willing to work with you, she obviously cares about you. So relax, and let it go. Keep your hand off yourself!!!! If it's no better in the next few times go to a doc. I know somewhat about these issues but I am not a doc, just a NP. I would refer you to a good male doc or to a urologist if it persists.
See what the guys here say ( I am just a woman!) ...
Thank you for your replies sera!
I actually have a doctors appointment in a few weeks (for other issues) but I'll be sure to ask him about this. I wish there was a quicker solution than this though.
I avoided masterbating for two days in a row last weekend, knowing I was going to see her. Again, I was fine the first time (although a little bit quick haahah) but afterwards I just kind of lost it.
I feel like I'm missing that overwhelmingly strong sex drive I usually have. I'm missing out on so much fun right now
You really need to talk with the medical people but it sounds like stress to me. You want to please her soo much that you can't and now you have begun to feel that you never will and will lose her because of it.
This is going to sound harsh but you have got to get yourself to the doctor. He/she will help break this cycle you're trapped in. Next - control your emotions - try to NOT like her so much. Think of pleasing yourself for a change. Oh, and the drinking does not help - so stop it. During the next 5 days, go on a health and beauty kick.
BTW this not all that uncommon in a new relationship.
Listen to evil...she has a really good point. You are too young (it's too uncommon) to have a low testosterone level...do what she said and keep your hand off yourself....NO MASTURBATION!
Alright, she's been gone for a day now. I masterbated today (its been about a day in a half since I've seen her), and I noticed that when I cum, my penis is actually fairly soft (I can bend it pretty easily). I also have noticed that I haven't gotten the 'morning wood for a while.
I will hold off until tuesday night and see what happens (its hard though...)
Hands off! Which do you want? Immediate gratification or long term results?
If it is a medical issue, yes, he shouldn't be having this problem.
If it is a relationship issue then, no, many men, of all ages, have this problem when just starting a new serious relationship.
He has to discover if it's in his head or if it is in his 'head'.
[QUOTE=molsondry;173339]
Do you think I could get a viagra prescription? At the age of 20?[/QUOTE]
Be careful here in italy it is stupidly sold over the counter and one lady decided to rekindle her husbands fire and desolved 2 ! pills into his wine, one sip and the poor man had a heart attack, luckily he survived.
Talk to a doctor at least reassurance of no physical problems will take some psychological stress off you and might help