Hello,
I recently just had the most amazing, intimate weekend with my girlfriend. I'm 18 and a virgin, and I haven't been in a serious relationship before. I spent 3 nights at her house, sleeping in her bed. On the first night we slept in pajamas while cuddling, on the second night we were a little more adventurous and slept topless with only bottoms on, and on the third night we were both completely nude. On the third night we started to explore eachother's bodies a lot more. I slowly moved my hand toward her vagina and fingered her until she had an orgasm (it only took like 3 minutes, she was really enjoying it). Then a little while longer she said she wanted to give me oral sex, and I obviously was more than happy to let her. After that it was pretty obvious that we were heading for the grand finale. About 2 hours after the bj, we decided we were going to have sex. So I got it hard by stroking it a little bit, but it wouldn't get completely hard, so she went down on my for a while until it was, and then I got on top of her in the missionary position. The only problem was, after I put it in, it became soft after like 15 seconds. I just layed on top of her and kissed her, hoping it would get up again, but it wouldn't. So I gave up and got back next to her. I wasn't feeling especially nervous, but my heard was definately pounding really fast. So what was the problem here, why couldn't I keep it up? Was it because we didn't wait long enough until I had an orgasm during oral sex? Will this problem most likely go away next time we try? Thanks
Fri, 09/05/2008 - 18:51
#1
Erection Problems for first time
Hi, welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating.
Your question has been addressed in numerous threads as well as in at least one article listed in the Index found at the top of the main screen.
Essentially what happened is a good case of Performance Anxiety. This is very common and happens to most guys at one time or another, particularly when we have little experience or little to no experience with a particular partner. The solution is to stop worrying. As simple as it sounds it is harder to do, yet do you must.
You were correct to keep trying and to rebuild your erection. All too often people think that because a guy lost his erection the fun has to be over. Wrong.
Make sure you are highly aroused and at the brink of an orgasm before starting intercourse. Getting to this point is not the purpose of lots of stroking and thrusting. These two activities are designed to trigger an orgasm once we have been aroused to the point of no control by lots of making out and then foreplay beforehand.
A lot of the time once it happens you get so fixated on it happening that the thought of not getting it up... keeps you from getting it up...
Relax man, happens to the best of us. If shes cool she will understand.
Also get it through your head that you're NOT a machine. This is not The Olympics and no one's keeping score. ANY sexual activity that you both enjoy is good whether intercourse occurs or not. Plus you still have two hands and a mouth so there's always something you can do. Do not just think you're limited to using your penis. And very true - a good woman understands and is cool with you being human.