Nagy points out that many drugs for many conditions can cause this, but he should not adjust dosage on his own. There is no way to guess what may be the problem; only a urologist with the proper history and proper tests can figure this out. You are quite correct in your opinion - keep pressing him to seek medical advice.

First of all, his problem is not one of "fault" it is a medical issue. would you blame somebody who broke their leg?

I have no idea if this fits, but many antidepressants can have sexual side effects and so can many other medications such as those for high blood pressure. He needs to talk to a doctor who can help sort things out.

Is your boyfriend taking any medication(s)? I ask because a couple of the responses are written as if he is.

Q:

My reply is regarding technique or the lack of. In other words, how do the two of you make out? How much time does he spend arousing you with kisses, caresses, and fondling? How much time do you spend reciprocating?

Once he becomes erect, do you leave his penis alone? Do you continue to fondle his penis in order to maintain his erection? Either way, what do the two of you do next?

How aroused is he when you invite him to have intercourse?

A:

If the two of you are not devoting at least half an hour to fooling around and making out then you are rushing. Women require at least this much time in order to become fully aroused. Men benefit from all this activity, also.

Very often women report that once their man becomes erect they pretty much leave his penis alone. WRONG. Regardless of whether he has a spontaneous erection or one at her hand, continuing with periodic stroking or oral is required in order to maintain him at or near his peak.

This said, it is also required that he be at peak when intercourse begins.

Info:

If the two of you are not having intercourse and only foreplay, then I recommend reading the article that discusses this. More often than not he will become much more highly aroused than from just a hand job alone. The trouble is that technique used to accomplish his exquisite enjoyment is not what is necessary to trigger an orgasm. So this can be a problem over time to maintaining an erection. Also contributing to an erection subsiding is spending too much time making out and/or without much attention to the penis.

Let me come at this from a different direction – viewing this as a relationship issue. In particular, to what extent is it permissible for you to “nag” your partner into doing something? This depends on what you want him to do and why you want him to do it as well as how the outcome affects you. Wanting your bf to see a doctor when you both agree that he has symptoms indicating that something might be wrong is, in my book, a pretty “nag-able” desire. His reasons for avoiding this seem to be mostly in terms of the emotional discomfort it would cause him. His feelings are to be respected. But what about your feelings? You suggest that you look forward to the benefit to him of getting a diagnosis, but have you talked to him about how his refusal makes you feel – because your feelings need to be respected as well.
What is needed is some pretty serious communication about feelings. This is not easy, but it the sort of thing which can strengthen the bonds between you because it arises out of mutual respect.

I think the problem is that you think about it too much which sticks in your mind , Leave the intcourse out for a while and just you and your lady just have lots of touching and forplay , Then you will not have to worry about keeping hard for intercource , After time you should be fine

as was already said, he needs to seek medical advice to see it there's something that can be done to remedy this, however the time to bring it up is not during your makeout session when his penis goes flaccid. Continue on and enjoy the time together, then the next morning bring it up as something you want to do for him. Let him know that you really want to pleasure him but that it's so much better when he can get hard and you can give him the ride (or suck) of his life. and this would be so much better without him losing his erection.

One other thing to mention is the power of the mind, the more you think about him losing his erection, the more it becomes an issue. When it does happen ignore it, act like you don't care and tell him to forget about it and enjoy the making out and see if it makes any difference

I do not disagree with the recommendations, above, suggesting your boyfriend seek a medical consultation; however, because so many couples rush to the finish line without really devoting much time to fooling around and making out in order to build and maintain each others arousal and sexual excitement, I believe learning how to go around the proverbial "bases" {1st., 2nd., 3rd., Home run, as people used to say) and spending more time titillating each other should be the first order of business.

Because much of what we discuss on the site has to do with people who have never learned the value and importance of making out and that the process is fun and enjoyable as well as necessary, I believe the two of you should return to lovemaking 101 and brush up on both knowledge and skills, first. We frequently read posts from teenagers who do not understand the basics. Boys knowing that they can be UP and ready for an orgasm in moments base making love to a girl or just having sex with the same guideline as masturbation. WRONG. Boys not knowing that girls cannot be UP and ready for an orgasm in moments have yet to learn the physiological differences and therefore pull upon the only knowledge they have (so far) which is their own experiences with self. Learning these gender differences and how to work with them to mutual advantage is the primary reason this site exists. My advice to guys in this dilemma is to stuff your ego and learn! You'll be glad you did.

A penis can become erect spontaneously, as a result of external stimulation such as sights, smells, thoughts, touch, yet when it does become erect, it needs periodic stimulation (touching and stroking) to maintain the erection. It is a fallacy to think that once it has become erect by whatever means, it will just maintain. This is why I recommended, above, that a couple devote no less than half an hour, or longer within reason, kissing and caressing in ever increasing intensity and intimacy before rushing to have an orgasm either from foreplay {oral and/or manual stimulation) or intercourse. "Quickies" are one thing, full blown love making is quite another. Do not mix the two until you have a handle on what you two are doing and understanding each others responses.

These are the primary reasons why I am so adamant about increasing one's knowledge by reading every article listed in the Index found at the top of the main screen and then placing the tips and techniques into practice.

Over the past twenty years or so the shift in emphasis has changed in how people make love. Back in the good ol' days, teens especially, and young adults did not have intercourse nearly as much as in today's (not so) enlightened times. People used to place much more emphasis on stimulating each others senses more by making out more. When orgasms happened it was as a result of foreplay more often than not because of stronger taboos about engaging in intercourse.

So, here are some guidelines to gauge the male readiness:
a. is he breathing hard, holding his breath, or panting
b. are his toes curling
c. is he making a fist
d. is he snuggling up closer to his partner
e. does his penis twitch in response to being touched
f. is he perspiring
g. does his penis feel like it cannot expand any more and will burst any moment now
h. does he arch his back
+ does he thrust in addition
i. is he moaning and groaning in response to being caressed
j. if you move your hand away from his genitals, does he hurry to return it

My recommendation is for a couple to practice without rushing to the finish line all of the above, first, second, and third steps. Return to the basics. Learn what your parents and grandparents learned out of necessity and put the information to better use.

Now having said all this with regard to the male of the species, guys how will you best arouse and titillate your partner, now?

-doc

I agree that there is no need to rush out and see a doctor. Start with baby steps.

Is he stressed? Is he taking medicines? Has he had an injury? Is he new at sex? Have you tried changing his diet, more nuts, lots of studies suggest nuts help with the penis. Does he get his vitamins? Had he tried a natural supplement like Extenze or Endurnz? Have you considered watching porn?

Lots you can do. No doctor until you rule out the simple things. All doctors will do is write a script for viagra and that has lots of risks both mental and physical.

a new drug called stendra is supposed to have less side effects.