Jokes

[glockman]

I would like to apologize to anyone I offended about the blonde jokes I put up here. I am having surgery tomorrow(Tuesday) with a problem that should have been taken care of when I was a child. Telling jokes is a way for me to get rid of my nervousness. Again I apologize to anyine I offended.

[sera300]

I am blonde and take no offense! I get a good laugh from them& good luck with your surgery tomorrow!

[Lovesdesire]

10 things you don't want to hear before surgery

Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

2 Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card?

3 Damn! Page 84 of the manual is missing!

4 Everybody stand back! I lost a contact lens!

5 Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie

6 Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

7 "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

8 Whoa, wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

9 "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, he's got two of 'em

10 What do you mean "You want a divorce?"


hehe could'nt resist

[Lovesdesire]

for all those with penis size issues

A young man goes to a doctor for a physical examination. When he gets into the room, the man strips for his exam. He has a dick the size of a little kid's little finger.
A nurse standing in the room sees his little dick and begins to laugh hysterically.
The young man gives her a stern look and say, "You shouldn't laugh, it's been swollen like that for two weeks now!"

[THQMA5]

lol my fav one is the one in the simpsons
the red thingys connected to my wrist watch........ uh ow

[Ducy]

Originally Posted by Lovesdesire

for all those with penis size issues

A young man goes to a doctor for a physical examination. When he gets into the room, the man strips for his exam. He has a dick the size of a little kid's little finger.
A nurse standing in the room sees his little dick and begins to laugh hysterically.
The young man gives her a stern look and say, "You shouldn't laugh, it's been swollen like that for two weeks now!"

ROFLMAO

[-wittyphrasehere-]

Thinking there should be a single thread where people post their funnies.
Maybe another one for mistaken innuendoes.

[Korkov]

one more thing you don't wanna hear from the doc's


Opps!

[Ducy]

What about..

Doc: Sir...your surgery went well, we checked, and it looks like we got all the cancer when we removed your penis.
Patient: WHAT!?!?! I thought I was having a kidney removed.
Doc: Oh....well arent you Mr. Smith
Patient: No Im Mr. Stevens...
Doc: Oh...well....huh...I guess your clipboard got mixed up with the guy in the bed next to you....sorry about that...