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#1
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Hmmm... I've used a few of these...lol.
WAYS TO TURN MEN DOWN HE: Can I buy you a drink? I: * *Actually I'd rather have the money. HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours. I: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours. HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice? I: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice. HE : How did you get to be so beautiful? I: I must've been given your share. HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday? I: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend. HE: Your face must turn a few heads. I: And your face must turn a few stomachs. HE: Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out. I: Okay, get out. HE: I think I could make you very happy. I: Why? Are you leaving? HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me? I: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time. HE: Can I have your name? I: Why? Don't you already have one? HE: Shall we go see a movie? I: I've already seen it. HE: Where have you been all my life? I: Hiding from you. HE: Haven't I seen you some place before? I: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore. HE: Is this seat empty? I: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. HE: Hey baby, what's your sign? I: Do not enter. HE: Your body is like a temple. I: Sorry, there are no services today. HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. I: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. HE: Where have you been all my life? I: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams
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The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself. -Oscar Wilde |
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#2
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Ive never had anyone like my guy... ...and i never want anyone else |
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#3
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LOL oberon thats great!!!
-Mariah
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dont knock masturbation!!! its sex with someone i love! -woody allen |
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#4
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Well...before this thread turns into a mirror universe version of the Stepford Wives...Rules from the man's side. Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't look like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus was a man, and hence did not need directions. Neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will pretend you're a woman of her word, and that nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, computers or cars. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really go sleep in another womans bed for such nights? We think of it like camping.
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Out of here (Phew!!) due to ridiculously blatant favouritism among the Moderators. I'm over at: www.literotica.com. |
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#5
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Jaybee I am requesting that you post that in another thread please. Thanks!
-Mariah
__________________
dont knock masturbation!!! its sex with someone i love! -woody allen |
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#6
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Quote:
__________________
The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself. -Oscar Wilde |
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#7
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LOL or life sexist gender stereotypes
-Mariah
__________________
dont knock masturbation!!! its sex with someone i love! -woody allen |
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#8
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Hey! Can I complain about you two ganging up on this poor defenceless little coloured brit? What happened to white guilt?
LOL!!! Don't worry. I'm about as defenceless as a Bengal Tiger. Jaybee.
__________________
Out of here (Phew!!) due to ridiculously blatant favouritism among the Moderators. I'm over at: www.literotica.com. |
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#9
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lol that was very funny and mean
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http://www.myspace.com/mason14335 |
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#10
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oberon you shouoldnt be so bitchy about turning a man down..... you sould take it as a compliment that he evan tryed to get with you and jaybee your stupid if you treat realy girls like that id be suprsed if you ever get any pussy....
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"The Question is not how far the question is do you have the constitution and the depth of faith to take it as far as needed?"- best quote ever "Boondock Saints" |
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