Ways To Turn Men Down

[oberon]

Hmmm... I've used a few of these...lol.

WAYS TO TURN MEN DOWN


HE: Can I buy you a drink?
I: * *Actually I'd rather have the money.


HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
I: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.


HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
I: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.


HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
I: I must've been given your share.


HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
I: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.


HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
I: And your face must turn a few stomachs.


HE: Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.
I: Okay, get out.


HE: I think I could make you very happy.
I: Why? Are you leaving?


HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
I: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.


HE: Can I have your name?
I: Why? Don't you already have one?


HE: Shall we go see a movie?
I: I've already seen it.


HE: Where have you been all my life?
I: Hiding from you.


HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
I: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.


HE: Is this seat empty?
I: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.


HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
I: Do not enter.


HE: Your body is like a temple.
I: Sorry, there are no services today.


HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
I: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.


HE: Where have you been all my life?
I: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams

[secretly_shy]

[girl12]

LOL oberon thats great!!!

-Mariah

[Jaybee]

Well...before this thread turns into a mirror universe version of the Stepford Wives...Rules from the man's side. Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't look like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus was a man, and hence did not need directions. Neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will pretend you're a woman of her word, and that nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, computers or cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really go sleep in another womans bed for such nights? We think of it like camping.

[girl12]

Jaybee I am requesting that you post that in another thread please. Thanks!

-Mariah

[oberon]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (girl12 @ May 18 2005,18:57)]Jaybee I am requesting that you post that in another thread please. Thanks!

-Mariah

LOL... I think he wanted the other topic "Life Theories" or something like that...

[girl12]

LOL or life sexist gender stereotypes

-Mariah

[Jaybee]

Hey! Can I complain about you two ganging up on this poor defenceless little coloured brit? What happened to white guilt?

LOL!!!

Don't worry. I'm about as defenceless as a Bengal Tiger.





Jaybee.

[Acid_Burn]

lol that was very funny and mean lol i do think it would be funny to see tho

[shady]

oberon you shouoldnt be so bitchy about turning a man down..... you sould take it as a compliment that he evan tryed to get with you and jaybee your stupid if you treat realy girls like that id be suprsed if you ever get any pussy....