Sex and Calories

[WallyLlama]

It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities.

Now after "original and proprietary" research we have some results.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES: *

With her consent..12 Calories *

Without her consent............................2187 Calories *

OPENING HER BRA: *

With both hands.................................8 Calories *

With one hand...................................12 Calories *

With your teeth.................................485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM: *

With an erection.........................6 Calories *

Without an erection.................3315 Calories *

POSITIONS:

Missionary........................12 Calories *

69 lying down..............78 Calories *

69 standing up.........812 Calories *

Wheelbarrow.......216 Calories *

Doggy Style..........326 Calories *

Italian chandelier.............................2912 Calories *

ORGASMS: *

Real....112 Calories *

Fake..1315 Calories *

POST ORGASM: *

Lying in bed hugging...........................18 Calories *

Getting up immediately.........................36 Calories *

Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.......816 Calories *

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are: *

20-29 years..........................36 Calories

30-39 years.......................80 Calories

40-49 years....................124 Calories *

50-59 years................1972 Calories *

60-69 years...........7916 Calories *

70 and over......Results are still pending *

DRESSING AFTERWARDS: *

Calmly............................................ .........32 Calories *

In a hurry............................................9 8 Calories *

With her father knocking at the door...........5218 Calories *

With your wife knocking at the door............13,521 Calories *

Results may vary.

[experimenter]

Good one wally!

[monie]

hahahahaha. Great exercise!

[Cornelius111]

Hmm I don't want to but I have to ask because frankly I've never heard of it and that's an odd occurrence in itself. So... what in the world is italian chandelier?

[Acid8000]

I must say, quite halirous

[camman]

getting head from girl ...57 caloires
Finding out girl is guy ... 1800 caloires

lol man though it was a great post

[WallyLlama]

I'm not sure about the Italian Chandelier, but as soon as I have a minute I'm going on E-Bay to find one.

[vagabondprince]

This is the best depiction i found on the italian chandelier...all the other links on google led me to cheesy porn sites

[Cornelius111]

HAHA oddly enough I've done that or something very similar.