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a guy and his girlfriend have been going steady for about a year now and decided they were ready for sex. He had, of course, been anticipating the event for quite some time and was eager to get to it except he had the misfourtune of sharing his room with his 9 year old brother and his girlfriend's house was out of the question. Deciding that he could wait no longer, he invited he girlfriend over anyway. they waited on his bed untill his little brother finally fell asleep on the bunk below. well as you can imagine one thing led to another, but he knew that if he woke up his brother and he found out what was going on he'd be in deep sh*t, so he said to his girlfriend
"when you want me to do it harder say Lettuce, and when you want to change positions say Tomato." "LETTUCE! TOMATO! LETTUCE! TOMATO! LETTUCE! TOMATO!" she shouts, "LETTUCE! TOMATO! AAHH! Take it out! Take it out already! I can't take it any more!" Just then his little brother screamed, "hey! Could you please stop making sandwitchs up there?! you're getting mayonnaise all over my face!!!!!"
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"None of your persecutors has ever been in your shoes. These people are all observing from the gallery, smugly dispersing the smart but unoriginal moralist cliche." -Kira- From Angel Sanctuary |
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LOL!
There's another one along those lines... something like a little girl sees her parents going at it on the couch one night. The next morning she ask her mom what they were doing. Her mom replies, "your dad and I were making a cake." A few days later the girl goes and asks her mom if they had been making another cake the night before. Yes, her mom tells her. The girl says, "I was wondering.. 'cuz I licked some icing off of the couch." |
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