05-14-2003, 08:47 AM
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 How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..." How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in. All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. 
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05-22-2003, 11:52 AM
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a little humorous, but definately sexist.
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06-27-2003, 06:27 PM
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."  LOLOLOL THATS THE BEST JOKE IVE EVER HEARED
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08-01-2003, 03:26 PM
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Next time your wife, g/f whatever asks you whats on the tv, say: Dust! in a disgusted voice. see what she does. i dare ya.
__________________
I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better. There are easier things in life than asking out a girl... like nailing jello to a tree, for instance. A murmur ran through the court and before the bailiff could grab it, it jumped up and bit judge Webster on the nose.
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08-19-2003, 12:16 AM
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I am a girl and those made me laugh so much. *
* * * *GOD YOU JUST BRIGHTENED MY DAY That was funny. And i know they are only jokes so .. i don't take em seriously 
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08-28-2003, 11:11 PM
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Funny shit keep it coming!
__________________
"None of your persecutors has ever been in your shoes. These people are all observing from the gallery, smugly dispersing the smart but unoriginal moralist cliche." -Kira- From Angel Sanctuary
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