My fiancee and i have been together for 3 years now. When we first started dating we couldnt get enough of eachother. over the past year this have changed. He has become more stressed from work and it is very important for him to be a good provider. The problem is that his stress affects his labido. I assume this is pretty normal for men. But it worries me. In the past we both initiated sex and there was foreplay. Now i ALWAYS initiate sex and im the one doing all the pleasing. sometimes we'll have sex everyday out of the week but mostly we'll have sex every once and awhile, the worst time was when we went 4 months with no sex. When he does have sex he gets into it, but if i dont approach him it doesnt happen. One of my main concerns is that he isnt releiving himself. He says he never masterbates which i wouldnt mind either way, but i havent ever seen him do it, he gets a little uncomfortable talking about it. But he says he cums when he pees, not that he masterbates when hes peeing but that cum just comes out. which i have noticed in his pee. I figured that maybe its his bodys way of naturally releiving itself much like wet dreams. But my question is, is this physically possible, is it normal, and is it healthy? im totally confused, worried, and want to rekindle our sex life. PLEASE HELP!!!
Sat, 07/22/2006 - 07:24
#1
ejaculation, urination? Please help!
a wet dream or sperm comking out in pee is not releiving it is only to get rid of old sperm every 2 weeks or so, he should masterbate it might help him have sex better perhaps you could do it together ? he ned not be ashamed of masturbation it is normal and healthy and we ALL do it most of those say they don't are lying because they are too imbaressed to say so there is nothing to be ashamed of.
thank you for your help. That was my main question, if its normal for it to come out in pee. I was worried if he had a health problem of some sort. I've heard of wet dreams but never heard of it comming out this way. Its impossible for him to talk to me about it, i mean its very possible he doesnt masterbate which is why hes having this problem, i've never seen him do it. When ever i ask him about it he gets defensive and says im "accusing him".I do masterbate him at times when were not having sex. I've been reading other posts here also, so i guess its pretty normal after 3 years and stress from work would cause his libido to slow down. I'm trying to sex it up, i mean is not that its boring, we always do it in different positions and places, i even got a little cop costume for him. How do i get him to initate it more so that he can get more release and want sex more?
Whoa.
If you are seeking physiological information, a forum is generally not the best source. Generally speaking, you're getting opinions, sometimes from folks who are a bit misguided. As you are doing, it's wise to read as much as you can and not simply accept one or two posts as gospel.
For what it's worth, you might consider separating topics/issues and deciding whether or not there's a problem - and, if so, how big it is.
It is not necessary for him to masturbate to improve your sex life together. While there is nothing wrong with it, there is no physical or emotional requirement for it.
The simple reality is that stress from work (and energy level) can take it's toll... I'd suggest you not try to find some magic cause for him slowing down some. You might talk to him about things like how he feels about work, etc. and take an interest in what's going on in his head and heart.
It sounds like things aren't so bad sexually, you'd just like him to initiate more - there's nothing wrong with that, certainly, but don't make issues that will drive him further away (like accusing him of masturbating, etc.) You might also ask yourself if you are building trust issues or do you already have them? He says he's not masturbating, why doubt him?
And what's wrong with initiating sex?
(OK, I'm also curious... who wears the cop outfit?)
Thank you for your reply:) Its not that i have an issue with him masterbating or not, i could careless, i dont think theres anything wrong with it. He does thats why he feels i'm accusing him of it. I just worry that hes not being as sexually active and was worried that he wasnt relieving himself or getting out the old sperm. I was worried it might be a health issue if his sperm is comming out in his urin. I mean were both in our 20's and it seems like not having sex for months at a time is a little odd, but again he is very stressed from work, i try my best to help him out in that department. As a woman it makes me feel unsexy for him not to initate anymore. i'm confused on how to help him with his problems and im trying to understand so i can work through it with him.
and to answer your question i wear the cop outfit, hes becomming a sherif so i thought it would cute.
another thought from one who is not an expert, on occasion and particularily if it was not quite what is was supposed to be (like in your bf case I am not that turned on or tired) after masturbating when I go and pee some sperm comes out you can see it is mixed in the pee but there is not a lot, depending on how much your bf is putting out in his pee it could just be that but and having such an issue over masturbation it could quite bother him for you to notice.
btw if you masturbate tell him you do to help him understand there is nothing wrong with it
The male body constantly makes sperm and semen. Much of it is reabsorbed unto the body but when the body runs out of storage space, it finds ways to dump the excess. The most common is the nocturnal emission or wet dream. It can dribble from the prostate into the urethra and be urinated out. He is likely telling the truth.
Given you ages, his low libido is not normal. There is something going on. I would recommend a complete physical, especially urological and testerone. If all organic issues are ruled out, then the two of you need some help.
that was what i was thinking, i thought his libido was a little low for his age, granted he is very stressed with work, hes in between a transfer to another area, we have a home and he doesnt want to move which has caused alot of additional relationship strain, so i thought maybe it could be the stress thats keeping him inactive, When we talk about it thats what he says. His diet is pretty good he eats pretty healthy and drinks alot of water. other than that i have no idea why his libido is low, i guess that would all warent good reason.
Heres my thoughts on this and by no means am I a expert. I've been in his shoes before, in fact I had a stress one with my ex wife and when I was going thru a pad part of the divorce, I was very attracted to the girl, but had issues, first time in my life. I was very sexually active at a young age and continued that for a long time and never had no problems, so stress can be a major major part of it. Another thing is a bad thing, but sometimes after I have already cum, I lose some of it when I pee, its left over. You might make sure he isnt just doing it and not telling you about it, or if thats the case, try to see why he doesnt come to you when he feels the need. Just my two cents worth.