Hi.
A couple nights ago my girlfriend and I had sex, missionary-style. She loved it; I could tell during the act, and she also admitted it when we were through. However, I didn't get off, though I think I could have if we had gone on a little bit longer... I started to go flat and she pulled me out.
Here's the problem: last night she asked if she doesn't turn me on because since we had sex, I haven't been getting up to full-mast. I think the problem is I'm too used to masturbating and got waaaaay too comfortable with it. So I've laid off for a couple days, and hopefully that will solve the problem.
I know it's a pyschological barrier, but it's damned annoying, and I hate how she feels that she doesn't turn me on, even though I assured her it wasn't the case... even if she didn't turn me on, I still should be able to get off; that's the normal reaction.
Did anyone go through this kind of thing? Guys, how did you get around it, and girls, is there anything my girl can do to help me out?
I read the thread about the two kinds of male disorders regarding ejaculation. I don't think I have that, but if I have one of them, I definitely have the "giver over taker" thing going on.
Lord,
The attraction is there. I came reasonably close the second time we were doing it, but wore out and had to switch positions. I think it's just that I've grown too used to masturbating one specific way and i need to get out of that rut before i get anywhere.I really can't say on the love issue yet, cuz i'm missing the verbal commitment on her end, but that really doesn't play any role in the heat of the moment.
lordroad
so you've already lost your attractiveness towards your g/f and you've only had sex twice???
if you weren't attracted to her why did you hook up w/ her in the first place?
Hey Prince,
Yeah, I was reading that other thread and all the others related to the subject. Just had sex about an hour ago this morning and she came all over the place, even turned red and rosy over her neck and collarbone ;)
However, I didn't even come close to firing off a volley... the tube was loaded, the ICBM was ready, but I just didn't have authorization to launch the nukes...
Sucks, sucks, sucks. Granted, this is only my second time, and we've only done it in one position. But my brain was elsewhere the entire time... as awful as this sounds, I think may not be attracted to her, which I hate.
How about you, Prince? Is attraction not really there? Do you love your girlfriend?
I'll keep you posted, and hopefully, we'll both be able to solve this annoying problem.
Did you read the post "Can't cum" that's not too far below your's? there's a link to another thread that could explain what your problem is...i have the problem where I can't cum, but I can still get it up w/o a problem so it may be different. just letting you know that there are others out there w/ the same problem, cuz when i first had the problem (it was only a couple weeks ago) i was wondering myself whether i could find any help...just read the threads, keep things up with your girlfriend, and things might change...If it doesn't within the next month look into "male anorgasmia" on google. there is some therapy on some of the sites that seems like it may help
- Been dating for a month.
- First time having sex ever.
- I don't know about love
- Safe (condom + pill)
I know it's a psychological thing. But the thing is, I should be ready. I'm a lot more comfortable with her than I was when we first started messing around. For example, the first time she gave me head, I couldn't get my stomach or leg muscles to relax and I was tense as a rock.
Now I'm totally comfortable being naked around her, having her touch me anywhere, etc, though at first I was really nervous. Maybe some of that is still hangin over me...
Regardless, it's a pain in the ass, and I don't want it to turn into a complex.
On a happier note, she told me I was great and she got off. I'd love to repeat it but this time I'd like to get off too.
I HIGHLY doubt the reason is because u masturbate alot! I'm 42, i masturbated 2 times yesterday and STILL had sex and had an orgasm (i like that because i last alot longer before i cum).
It sounds like there is much more to this than meets the eye. Like there's something you're not telling us.
-how long have u been dating?
-was this your first sex?
-is she someone you are feeling "love" for or just companionship
-have u had sex with women before?
-was it safe or unsafe sex?
The mind is the BIGGEST sex organ, so if there's something going on up in your brain thats making you pre-occupied during sex, there's a chance you'll see it in both your erection and ability to have an orgasm...so....how bout filling us in!