Hiya, Im a new member and basically have a couple of questions regarding my latest sexual experience. Im not a virgin, have slept with 6 men, although none of them have been in proper relationships. When it comes to sex, I really don't know what im doing lol. Please don't say 'wait until you find the right person and yo uwill learn that way' because believe me ive tried. Anyway, Ive looked through the boards and was just wondering.... if I plan on having sex with a guy, do I actually need to give any foreplay if he is already hard? Im confused as suppose I was to give him a blowjob...how long do you do it for before having actual sex??
also, the last time i was with a guy (potential boyfirend actually) i had a shower with him, he was hard, literally said 'i cant have sex with you in here' (as we had no condom) but i assumed we would once in bed (where there wrere condoms) but anyway he thought i meant 'for the whole night we cant have sex' and so six hours later of kissing and toucghin etc i then realise he thought i meant for the whole night. anyway i told him and was like 'lets have sex now, whichhe said he was up for. he went and had a shower, came back and we were in bed, but he was not hard. i started to give him a blow job and he STILL wasnt hard so out of embarassment, i just...gave up. was that the wrong thing to do?? most people say that a guy is hard before u even begin the blowjob so im confused why he wasnt, and yet earlier on in the night he had been. what was i doing wrong???
also, considering we never actually got round to the sexual act, as i had to leave, would that have put him off me do you think. if you had spent 6 hours doing everythinng but sex with a girl, then she left would it put you off her?? arghh im so confused and annoyed at myself. the amount of information i have looked up but am still confused!
thanks for reading, i know its long but i would really appreciate any replies
x
thankyou for your replies!! they have certainly helped. The guy has been texting me and says he realy does like me so i suppose i couldnt have done heaps wrong. i just did not realise that 6 hours would have been such a strain for him. I have no idea why he had a second shower he said 'ill have to wake myself up a bit' or something im not too sure!
Thanks again! :)
I have no clue what you wrote...sorry.
6 guys and you're not sure about foreplay?
It has been said that women put up with sex to get intimacy; men put up with intimacy to get sex. Maybe not entirely true but you get the idea. Foreplay is more for you than for him.
That poor guy had an erection for hours. Things do get tired plu he was confused with all the hot beginning and then the thought that he would not get release.
Honey, you better do some quick learning or your life will be a series of one night stands.
Several times people have wrote they do not have a "proper boyfriend" what does that mean? A one night stand?
If he had an erection for 6 hours, im pretty sure he (an almost any guy here) would be too tired to continue (especially if he came multiple times) also why did he take another shower? You said you were going to have sex, and he got into the shower :confused:
Welcome, Domie, to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you will enjoy participating. Please read through the Index that you will find at the top of the main screen. It lists many helpful articles that address common concerns.
> When it comes to sex, I really don't know what im doing lol.
This is a fantastic website with lots of information available through the Home Page as well as the Forums. Please avail yourself of the articles available through the links on the home page as well as the Index noted, above. Read through many of the threads that catch your interest, and, read the "Joy of Sex" book along with any other sex manuals you may find beneficial.
> Please don't say 'wait until you find the right person and you will learn that way' because believe me ive tried.
It is unrealistic to expect a couple to learn by finding "Mr. or Ms. Right" because neither may have acquired knowledge or skill or have the insight that anything needs improving.
> if I plan on having sex with a guy, do I actually need to give any foreplay if he is already hard? Im confused as suppose I was to give him a blowjob...how long do you do it for before having actual sex?
No, you do not "actually need to give any foreplay"; as is evidenced by the fact that guys (can) masturbate and ejaculate within a matter of a very few minutes with little or no caressing of their body. Now, having said that, what is one of the purposes of having sex? Certainly, one is in getting his rocks off pure and simple, yet the primary reason is that it is the outward expression of the love a couple has for each other. The latter means that there is a very strong emotional component involved, also. As Brandye stated, making out is more for the woman; yet, it cannot be denied that we guys benefit from lots of fooling around. Both benefit, and that is what is important to understand.
Making out, going around the "bases", fooling around, and whatever else this activity has been called throughout the ages benefits both the gal and the guy. It builds passion, expectation, sexual tension, excites the senses, and prepares both mentally as well as physically for a climax via intercourse or other means.
Please read this article:
KISSING & CARESSING--a young person's guide to EXPLORATION
This and the links mentioned inside will give you some insight and reasons for making out.
> also, the last time i was with a guy (potential boyfirend actually) i had a shower with him, he was hard, literally said 'i cant have sex with you in here' (as we had no condom) but i assumed we would once in bed (where there wrere condoms) but anyway he thought i meant 'for the whole night we cant have sex' and so six hours later of kissing and toucghin etc i then realise he thought i meant for the whole night.
I'm with Sera on this statement. Who said what to whom? I'm confused.
Regardless, one very important lesson among many to learn is that communication is the cornerstone of a successful relationship and this includes the sexual aspects, also. Ya gotta let the other know what you want, do not want, expect, etc. For guys, you may need to spell it out in addition.
> he went and had a shower, came back and we were in bed, but he was not hard. i started to give him a blow job and he STILL wasnt hard so out of embarassment, i just...gave up.
My first thought is to wonder what he did in the shower. That aside, after the passage of so many hours, it is no wonder he lost the ability to maintain an erection. H/We are not robots, we do have limits to stamina.
You were right to try and rebuild it and must be commended for this. All too often we receive posts from people who simply give up when an erection is lost believing incorrectly that once a penis goes flaccid, all fun and games are over. Nothing can be further from the truth.
> most people say that a guy is hard before u even begin the blowjob so im confused why he wasnt, and yet earlier on in the night he had been. what was i doing wrong?
Read: six hours of fun and games. Unless the guy masturbated during the second shower, I'd have to say he simply became exhausted.
> also, considering we never actually got round to the sexual act, as i had to leave, would that have put him off me do you think.
No one here is a mind reader. Only he knows.
I imagine that if he had a good time, was "into you" emotionally, that he would not be put off. Shucks, what about the teenage couple who makes out in the car at the end of a date and then have to bread it off?
He might have lost quite a bit of hardness by that point and was hoping the warm water could boost him back up? It can be embarrassing to a guy losing hardness even after 6 hrs. The thing that I have noticed is once you have orgasmed several times over the course of a couple hrs, you tend to need a rest break physically otherwise it just will not work with you =p.
Foreplay even when he's hard is a good thing! You can then do body worship on him ignoring his genitals; the mild dose of frustration tends to improve his performance.
I strongly suggest that you take a greater, more direct and more personal interest in your men. Find out how each one is wired, what they like etc. Take the time to get to know them. Thus far, your knowledge has been lacking. You have, apparently, a lovely fellow to explore now so go for it.
BTW do not ever hint to a male - they do not understand it - just TELL HIM out right.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;207407]
BTW do not ever hint to a male - they do not understand it - just TELL HIM out right.[/QUOTE]
All women, take note! What is the point in dropping hints when you can just tell someone.