I want to do something a bit special for my long term girlfriend. I know she will like this, so I would like to try it. We have talked about it before, and I know it is ok with her, and something she is excited about. Does anyone have any tips about what to do? I would really like any ideas anyone can give me in this matter.
Sat, 07/07/2007 - 20:07
#1
Dominating Her
Well... tying her down some is a good start... =) Be a little rough, but not too rough.
Ok, thanks for a start. I still want to get more advice on this matter if anyone has any.
Push all the buttons that you know on her (varoius erogenous zones)
and push them a little more vigorously than normal.
my girlfriend and i do this frequently, as we both really enjoy it.
first tip: safeword. this is a must. it will make it better for her if she knows in the back of her mind that she can stop it at any time. my gf and i use the "light" system. green=rougher/harder, yellow=take it down a notch, red=stop everything immediately. she's never used red, and most of the time she uses a signal it's green ;)
the first time you do it, keep it light, more erotic and intimate than anything. have her lie on her back and tie her hands and feet to the bedposts with silk ribbons, which will feel a lot less intense than rope. scented candles are good too, soft music if you got it. the experience can be intense for her the first time, so everything else should be sensual.
once you get past the first time, which should just be straight-up sex while she's tied, you can try some of the more extreme stuff. we steer away from the pain stuff, more because of me than her-my discomfort with doing it to her is just too great. but we do sometimes do variations of "chokeplay", usually its with my dick down her throat, and she sees how long she can keep it there. keep in mind though if you try chokeplay, its dangerous. safewords are useless since she cant talk, so you need and alternative (we use her snapping her fingers). also, dont use a restraint of any kind around her neck-that's just begging for trouble. your hand will suffice, and try to avoid direct pressure to the carotid arteries. use your palm rather than your fingers. this is as extreme as we go. actually, she wants to go further, but i just cant bring myself to inflict the type of stuff she wants on her. :o we've been together almost 2 years, and i love her so much i dont want to inflict any real pain on her. so far all we've done is spanking. she wants me to use clothespins on her nipples (among other things), but im really uncomfortable doing that to her. we're in negotiation :)
you can intro nasty language, roleplay, and get rougher over time (one of the best moments during our bondage sex for both of us is when i first throw her on the bed-that's usually the moment that flips the switch for both of us and really gets us going). blindfolds are also really fun.
just a brief synopsis here. basically, remember:
1. the submissive is the one truly in control
2. NEVER in any way push her into doing anything she doesn't want to. period.
3. take it slow. this is new territory. the first couple times should just be sex+restraints. keep it as sensual as possible until you decide whether this is something you really want to explore.
4. the safeword system is mandatory and inviolate. even if she says otherwise, NEVER engage in this type of sex without a safeword in place. if she does use the safeword, everything stops immediately, no questions asked. if she uses it by accident, stop, talk to her, make 100% sure she wants to continue.
5. work out what's going to happen ahead of time. the element of surprise is usually not a good thing in bondage.
hi ,
u have to use ur imagention do let her see u a pioneer , i have idea i'll tell u it's may be new for you . book a room in motel or hotel for weekend . while u driving there start to turn her on by some hot touches her legs lead her hand for your stick to give a b/j while u driving ( feeling so hot ) don't for get to use ur golden fingers on her .
i hope u enjoy ur life
7inches is absolutely correct! Never do this "as a surprise". Have a firm scenario planned out beforehand and discuss it with her. You have to give her the option and time to think about what will occur - specifically. Erotic is best. You want to seduce, not force.
Safewords are mandatory.
Also be aware that restraining someone for more than 45 minutes at any one time is not permitted. (Use a timer.) This is why I recommend using cuffs and leashes with snap catches at the ends. That way they are still wearing the cuffs when they're up for their relax period. Quick release - do you see?
Recently I was dismayed to see ligature marks around a fellow's ankles. Very "uncool" to leave marks. Make sure the cuffs are padded, people.