> I just wanted to say, I want to do the right thing in Sex life. I know I will, but I'm worried that a mistake might happen. Which I wouldn't be surprised it could happen.

If you want to minimize the chances of becoming pregnant, use the pill. He must also wear a condom. If for some reason you cannot use the pill or some other high reliable form of contraceptive, then at least use a spermicide along with the condom.

Birth Control Failure Rates

> I found the person I want to have sex with and he feels the same but we both agreed to wait.

Am I Ready For Sex?
A good choice until you have a handle on your future.

> I've had to thoughts if I want to be pregnant or not. I'm just worried about the delivering the baby.

Delivering the baby is generally the easy part. Most women will report that as painful as it might be, they tend not to remember it afterward.

What is more important is then what? How do you propose to raise the infant? Do you have sufficient money for food, diapers, health care, baby sitters, insurance, clothes, medicines, travel, and the many other expenses that will likely come up?

Are you prepared to have the future plans for you life forever changed? What about college? Finding a career that pays a decent salary? If you plan on having one or the other set of parents babysit more than once in a blue moon or if you expect them to pitch in--think again! OK, that's you; what about him? What proof do you have that he will continue to stick around and pitch in? His word?????? Statistically, most young single fathers cut and run, regardless of what they say in the heat of passion. Ask the same questions about him. Personally, I'd wait until your mid to late twenties or later. Live life, first. You have your teen years to enjoy. You have to have time in the early adult years to find yourself and your place in the world. You and a husband should enjoy life together for a few years before settling down. While doing this, you should be banking lots of money into savings for a house, your child's future, and other family and personal reasons.

Being responsible for a baby is real life, not fantasy. Caring for a baby requires lots of money and all of your time 24/7.

> I hope I do the right thing on this forum too by following your advices and reading others as well.

Of course you do. All we ask is that you be courteous and helpful when replying.

The least of your thoughts should be the delivery of the baby.....that is a short term pain....having a child is a FULL TIME RESPONSIBILITY! Please consider the option of birth control....I know that your hormones and your mind is telling you that you desire a baby right now....I have been there and done that....biologically, women are sent these signals when they are PHYSICALLY ready...but not always mentally or emotionally ready.
I guess I look at having children as THE MOST AMAZING thing that a pair of people can do....and also the most responsibility. Please take the time right now to think about your future and question whether or not you want to be so selfish and bring another life into this mix. PLEASE BE ADULT in this one issue in your life.

Your hormones are causing you to think about having babies; his hormones are causing him to figure out ways to get his rocks off.

Your interest in your boyfriend is more romantic in concept and wanting to be close. Making out, fooling around, having oral sex or even intercourse are ways to become closer; his interest is more self centered. "What can I say/do that will let me get my rocks off and better yet have her touch me in order to do it." The problem with the "I say" aspect of this is that you have to take everything he says with a pound, not a grain of salt.

Somewhere within these two extremes there has to be a happy medium that teens can live with. One way is to get him more interested in just hugging and snuggling and to point out the benefits of just doing this. Guys tend to think of this as a quick means to an end rather than an end in and of itself. If, as your relationship grows, you want to help him release his pent up sexual tension, then help him to connect this act to one of being an outward expression of love. The same goes for you with him. If you don't show him the way, he will likely spend the next several years just plotting ways to gain relief on a regular basis and you'll be left feeling empty and wondering if this is all there is.

Thank you for adding to your original post. You seem to have a level head.

As for intercourse, it is natural for both guys and gals to want to do this. What people do not realize until older and more experienced is that in and of itself the act is not the be all end all that we fantasize it will be. Oh, yes! intercourse is great and it has a way of melding the psyches into one for a moment in time, yet as pleasurable as this is, it tends to come in second to the sensations we experience along the way. A hand job well done, oral stimulation incorporating enthusiasm and soft wet lips and a dexterous tongue, can humble the most macho of men, and when the two are combined--make him beg for more and mercy at the same time. If standing, his knees will buckle and he'll go crashing to the floor. If reclining, he will be so much putty in your hands. The dynamic duo of oral and manual stimulation together is that intense. Intercourse has more to do with the emotions than the physical and for a lot of young couples who are not yet quite to this level, their initial explorations into this often leave them feeling let down.

As for satisfying your curiosity about pregnancy and delivering a baby, I suggest asking several women for their insight. Ask both new mothers and women who have been raising children for a while.

Read Am I Ready? as Doc suggests, again. And then again. You are 17. What percent of women having babies as teens end up as single mothers with no real education or decent paying job. As I understand the States, your medical care would even be in jeopardy.

Want to learn about sex and protecting yourself? We are here to help. Jumping all the way from virginity to motherhood on you first post raises a few eyebrows. Think a bit and then give us questions to deal with. Like how you can protect yourself.

This post is confusing the heck outa me lol. All I understood was that you turn 17 on the 27th...congrats. I turn 18 that day.

Dancing doc - OH they remember all right! Delivering the baby is NOT the easy part - not until you've had 12 of them at least. They might say differently because they have decided it was worth it or they were drugged.

NO SEX until you're on The Pill - check out the various varieties available - and he's committed to wearing a condom each and every time. If you are going to indulge in adult behavior - you have to be adult about it.

NO BABIES until you are married.

I am trying to keep my emotions in check here and not say anything offensive, due to personal experience...Listen to EEK....She knows what she is talking about. When I was your age, I specifically remember feeling the EXACT same way that you do now. I felt I was ready for a baby....I CRAVED a baby....it was almost like an urge interrupting every moment. I even went as far as meeting with my doctor to discuss the best way to go about becoming pregnant....
She told me she saw young women like me in her office every day. Biologically, your body is sending you signals that you are ready to carry a baby. You may not be able to see beyond that right now....but I can assure you that there is so much more to having a baby than hormones.
I thought I was prepared to have a baby, no matter what the cost....and my doctor asked me: "Why do you want to have this baby?"...before I could answer, she said the only reason to have a baby is because YOU HAVE SOOOO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE, unconditionally....not because you WANT someone to GIVE love to YOU...babies are humans, but they are also simple creatures. They do not care if you have slept 3 hours in a 72 hour period, they want you NOW! That opened my eyes.
Now, I am engaged and I have been planning our future pregnancy down to the last detail in an effort to make sure everything is just right...that is the least I can do for our future child.
Please trust my words....my own "mother" put me up for adoption when I was 19 months old because her 'love child' turned out to be more than she was willing to take on by herself. I was successfully adopted into a wonderful family in the end.....but do you think that doesn't effect me today????!!!!
This will sound a bit harsh....but take it from someone who has had to ask why their mom didn't want them....'
GROW UP! BABIES ARE NO CHILD’S-PLAY! IF YOU WANT A CHILD...YOU BETTER MAKE DAMN SURE YOU ARE PREPARED FOR A CHILD! OTHERWISE YOU WILL ONLY F#CK BOTH YOUR LIFE AND YOUR CHILD'S LIFE!

Well said, Dawn.

I was married for 4 years before we decided that having a child was right - that it was time. Then we had two and that was that!

Even with both of us working it was a struggle to raise the kids.

It is a MUCH better plan to BUILD YOUR LIFE before you even think about marrying and having kids.

Well stated, Dawn. I wish you were standing guard in my waiting room!

To have the women that gave birth to you reject you....is something that you NEVER get over....it goes against evolution. It goes against everything that a child believes about their mother. KMB!....STOP!....THINK!
It's not only you that is involved here! Another HUMAN BEING is at your mercy here. Please wait until you are ready to give that small person everything you have to offer....and I mean EVERYTHING! I have been in your shoes and I have had the same thoughts as you....wanting another small person of your own to be by your side in this hard world...but the bottom line is, that baby will NOT be there for you. They are completely dependant on you. The ball is on your court. If you **** up, your baby suffers the consequences for the rest of his/her life. Do you really want this kind of responsibility on your shoulders right now in your life?!

Sorry to get a bit off topic....
If you want to have sex, that is fine, but take the responsibility to use the proper protection as well! Birth control! There ARE NO CURRENT STUDIES that say birth control actually makes you gain weight in fat...you may retain some water....so, your boobs get fuller....embrace it. Condoms have NO side effect other than maybe the guy complaining about a loss of sensation....tell him he is lucky to have ANY sensation at all!
If you are not ready for a baby (and I can almost guarantee that you are not), then don't play stupid and have unprotected sex...then say..."ooops! Oh, look! I'm pregnant.....what ever will I do now? ...."
I strongly feel that if you are old enough to have sex, you are old enough to take responsibility for your sexual actions. Life is not always a parade and you deal with the consequences!

[quote=KMB;198157]Hi, I'm Katherine and I turn 17 on the 27th of this month.

I hope it's ok if I start this thread. I looked in your rules and It looked fine.

I just wanted to say, I want to do the right thing in Sex life. I know I will, but I'm worried that a mistake might happen. Which I wouldn't be surprised it could happen.

I found the person I want to have sex with and he feels the same but we both agreed to wait.

I've had to thoughts if I want to be pregnant or not. I'm just worried about the delivering the baby.

I'm sorry if I'm not making any sense. Talking about different topics here lol.

I hope I do the right thing on this forum too by following your advices and reading others as well.[/quote]Spend a few days with kids---24/7; you alone. Feed, dress, homework, etc. ALL ALONE--no one else...do the car seats in your car and then tell me you should have a kid. This is the best birth control for anyone...

Becoming a baby-sitting aunt is the best contraceptive going!

In the meantime, read Am I Ready? again!

Yes, read it and this time, PAY ATTENTION!

[quote=Brandye;198361]Becoming a baby-sitting aunt is the best contraceptive going!

In the meantime, read Am I Ready? again![/quote]The operative word is Aunt. Provide a married Mom & Dad in a stable relationship; when the fun & games of having them while "babysitting" wears off you really see what goes behind it...the cooking (3 meals a day), laundry, homework, temper tantrums, baths, showers, cleaning, etc. Is when you begin to get a sense of OMG...where did my life go? I was single right? Return them after a week or after 6 hours of a bad day...then the thoughts of birth control weigh heavily (even if you can remotely get pregnant)! Then you realize you were just a temporary relief measure!

Ps...an a baby has to eat every 3 hours or so...then with diaper changing; if YOU have seen food while teaching "table manners" and feeding the little one a bottle your food is long cold!

I currently have in my house my two granddaughters both of whom are younger than 2 years of age and both are in diapers. The youngest is now teething and she therefore drools and yells almost 24/7. The older granddaughter alternates between being charming and a huge pain in the ass embellished with shrieks and temper tantrums. They also get bored very easily. They require constant supervision, care, and amusment. Forget about getting any sleep, wearing clean clothes, getting time for bathing yourself, eating a hot meal, reading the newspaper, cleaning the house - and you certainly are NOT going to be able to "date" anyone!

Everyone thinks babies are so easy - when they are not that at all!

OMG.. where did MY life go?

[quote=EvilEvilKitten;198411]I currently have in my house my two granddaughters both of whom are younger than 2 years of age and both are in diapers. The youngest is now teething and she therefore drools and yells almost 24/7. The older granddaughter alternates between being charming and a huge pain in the ass embellished with shrieks and temper tantrums. They also get bored very easily. They require constant supervision, care, and amusment. Forget about getting any sleep, wearing clean clothes, getting time for bathing yourself, eating a hot meal, reading the newspaper, cleaning the house - and you certainly are NOT going to be able to "date" anyone!

Everyone thinks babies are so easy - when they are not that at all!

OMG.. where did MY life go?[/quote]

That's the point to the OP...look at the degree of family support within these stable households and the required structure. It's essential to have before you [SIZE=4]EVER[/SIZE] consider a child! Your life [SIZE=4]will[/SIZE] vanish before it ever really begins....

"I've had thoughts if I want to be pregnant or not. I'm just worried about the delivering the baby.".......

I guess this is the comment that raised the most red flags for me. The fact that your worry is "delivering the baby" concerns me. Pain should be the least of your concerns. RAISING the baby should make you shake in your boots! If not...then you're right....don't get knocked-up now...unless you want F#CK your life up and a child's life up!

When humans, this is during the Bronze Age mind you, only lived until they were 30 or so, it made sense to have children while still in your teens but now when humans live towards 100 years - it makes no sense to have children that early. Unfortunately our physical evolution has not quite kept up with our social evolution and the the advances made in medical care - so our hormones still say have children when in your teens. Your body says one thing and yet you know better than that.

Good point EEK. As I mentioned before...I too felt an urge at a young age to have a baby. My biological clock said "YOU'RE READY!!!!...Hurry up already!!!"
It almost seemed like a craving. BUT....My mom and dad were the ones that helped me to realize that I was NOT ready EMOTIONALLY for a baby. They explained to me that a baby should take a year or a number of years of planning to get things "just right". A baby is a life plan...you need to have some security established and you also need to have a plan.