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no body can tel you how that is ,,, i think you have to try that ,,, as i know my g/f love and enjoy it ,,, and never say that is Hurts

Read the threads on this site re: anal. There is a lot of good information.

i was like you, me and my boyf hAD DONE EVERYTHING but anal, so i was also curious.

the first time we did it, it hurt bad, when he went in the first time, but as he moved in an out it started feeling amazing.
i reach orgasm quicker through anal than sex, i could feel it just a couple seconds already and i was starting to climax. it felt amazing..

USE LOTS OF LUBE

Whether or not it hurts, there is always damage the first time. The anus is a one way valve designed to have things move out and not in. The muscles and tissues of the vaginal are very elastic; those of the anus are not.

Take Sera's advice - this has been addressed many times. And I am one of the anti-anal-penetration voices.

[QUOTE=Brandye;173998]Whether or not it hurts, there is always damage the first time. The anus is a one way valve designed to have things move out and not in. The muscles and tissues of the vaginal are very elastic; those of the anus are not.

[/QUOTE]

What? Do you mean the rectum? The anus is a muscle, and as such is very elastic, especially given the way it....operates. I also disagree with the assertion that there is "always damage" the first time. Anal done correctly doesn't "damage" anything (unless you're using a huge penis that causes the anus to stretch more than it wants to).

[quote=Caitlain;174170]What? Do you mean the rectum? The anus is a muscle, and as such is very elastic, especially given the way it....operates. I also disagree with the assertion that there is "always damage" the first time. Anal done correctly doesn't "damage" anything (unless you're using a huge penis that causes the anus to stretch more than it wants to).[/quote]

The Anus is the opening to the rectum, not the muscle. The muscle which controls is the called the sphincter....(anal sphincter).

Caitlin,

You are simply wrong. The anus is not of sufficient diameter nor adequate elasticity to allow a penis to enter without damage. There are hundreds of tiny tears that result from that first entry. There is a very old post of mine that seems to have disappeared that describes the process. If you have read "The Story of O" (a classic French bit of erotic writing) you read the story of a young woman being trained to please in all ways. She goes through a very specific process of distenting the sphincters and the skin to admit a penis easily. Few women go through this "training."

The vagina is forty cells thick. Becasue of this it is very elastic. The rectum and the "skin" of the holre is one cell thick. It lacks elasticity. The anal muscle is elastic; it is not very elastic. The vagina and vaginal sphincters (is very elastic because it is designed to allow things to go in (penis) and things even larger to come out (babies). The anal sphincters are specifically relaxed to allow outward passage of excrement and then they close again. They are not designed to open for entrance.

In the long term, the anal sphincters will be stretched. When you are in your thirties, this is no big deal - you can take a penis in easily. In your sixties, other issues arise such as "leaking." In the long term, hemorrhoids are the least bad thing to be expected.

I respect what your "corner" purports to do. Please do not step across the line into medicine.

The reasons stated below are also the reason why it's common to see anal tears; where as it's not common to see vaginal tears unless it was during a sexual assault.

Anal tears are common with anal sex done improperly, difficult to heal, and lead to high risks of infection. And a lot of discomfort, literally a pain in the a**.

i haven't try it but i also think it may hurt and that scares me a lot :/ besides... i think that anus is more to get things out and not in and this whole thing about being against anatomic ways just dont works for me :S

Brandye, you are very much against anal, aren't you? Is that because you're a doctor, and believe that it has long term effects, or because you don't like the way it feels? I'm just curious as to where your opinion originates.

do your research, besides the pain factor you also have to deal with bacterial issues. many people get into anal with a lack of information and end up with urinary tract infections.

[QUOTE=cjb1981;175085]Brandye, you are very much against anal, aren't you? Is that because you're a doctor, and believe that it has long term effects, or because you don't like the way it feels? I'm just curious as to where your opinion originates.[/QUOTE]
Until Brandye gets here, this is a post from 2003 by her:
[QUOTE]Originally Posted by [b
Quote (Brandye @ May 09 2003,13:12)]Anal sex will always result in some damage and the best you can hope for in the long run is hemmorhoids. The anus is a one way valve. It is designed to allow stuff to pass out; it is not designed to admit anything. OK, I like anal play, especially while cunnilingus is being done for me. But finger tips are small and do not go deep. A penis stretches the skin and the muscles beyond what they are designed for. The vaginal walls are about forty cells deep; that is what gives the vagina such elasticity. The walls of the rectum are one cell thick and when stretched much, the cells separate. This is an open wound. The stuff passing through the anus outward bound is full of bacteria. Infection is often a result. Hemorrhoids are begun and too much stretching can result in "bowel control" problems in later life. It is simply too loose to seal.

Now for the man's urethra. Urethritis and prostatitis are a result of bacteria travelling up the urethra. More often than not, this is a result of entero-bacteria (they belong in the large intestine). They can get there by migrating in the shorts. Perhaps a wet fart or something gets them there. In anal sex, these bacteria are being crammed into the urethra and even a monster ejaculation will not get them all out.[/QUOTE]:eek: :)

Its an exit not an entry

And as the anus isnt elasicated you may even do long term damage if done to often...

Anal sex doesn't have to hurt. My wife and I have anal sex on a regular basis. Not because I ask for it but because she wants it. According to her the trick to enjoying anal sex is 2 things.

1. Trust your partner completely. They can hurt you if they are not slow and gentle.
2. Get completely relaxed and in the right position for you. If you are tense about it then it will hurt. I suspect this is why many people say that it hurts the first time.

You also need to tell your partner that if you don't like it then don't ask for it again. Fairs fair if your willing to give it a go then he shouldn't push the issue after you try it.

I have disagreed with Brandye on this subject several times before. Keep in mind, I am not a doctor and she is. However, I spoke to a urologist, proctologist, and sex therapist regarding anal sex.

The proctologist said that, if the receptive partner did not experience pain, there was little chance of damage to sphincter or anal tissue. He actually laughed at the idea a penis was too large to penetrate the anus, pointing out the size of a bowel movement can often be larger then a penis. He was of the opinion that receptive anal sex, without pain, would lead to greater control of the sphincter and less likelihood of hemorrhoids.

The urologist said you were just as likely to get a urinary tract or reproductive tract infection from oral sex.

The sex therapist said he was jealous , and said he was unaware of any problems caused by anal sex.

According to Tristan Taormino's website Puckerup.com (and many others I can site) the stories of loss of bowel control are limited to those who experiment with extreme play.

As far as my personal experience, my wife and I have been having unprotected anal sex about five times a week for the past 14 years, and have not experienced any problems as a result.

Does it hurt? Obviously depends on the individual. If you are tense and think it will, then it probably will. I had a Doc tell me once that the mouth is probably the dirtiest place on the human body. All sorts of nasty bacteria in there. When I was young I had a bout with ureatheaitest (SP) and I had only vaginal intercourse. I've only ever had anal with two women & they both said it didn't hurt. I say have lube ready & if you can get into the right frame of mind, try it. It's not something I personally care to do on a regular basis but to each their own.

[QUOTE=luvmywifesass;175857]As far as my personal experience, my wife and I have been having unprotected anal sex about five times a week for the past 14 years, and have not experienced any problems as a result.[/QUOTE]As I've mentioned before I have been enjoying receptive anal sex since my teens (I'm in my fifties now) with no noticable effect on my butt's "other function". But . . . . I've never gone in for extreme activities (fisting and the like), never stretched it past what was comfortable, always used plenty of lube . . . . in other words, did what was sensible. Sometimes accidents happen and I've had a few painful experiences but obviously I stopped when that happened (pain ain't sexy to me) and gave it time to relax or simply skipped it for the rest of the evening. I don't doubt done incorrectly, like anything else to the body, you could cause permanent damage. But I'd suggest anyone concerned about long term effects either discuss with your doctor or research it from multiple sources on the net and draw your own conclusions.

Okay, I figured I'd just type this here seeing as how there are so many anal threads open already. Hopefully someone can help! :)

Anyway, my husband really wants to try this, and I would love to fulfill this for him, plus I'm interested in it, however, every time that we try, be it with a finger or a toy, something always seems to go wrong. I've tried without lube, which I know is a big no-no, but when we do use lube, it seems to sting some and become uncomfortable. Has this happened to others before? And how did y'all get around it? Is there a lube for sensitive skin? I really want to please my hubby and like I said, I'm also interested in sharing this with him. I have to say though, it gets a bit frustrating for the both of us with all these attempts gone wrong. :(

[quote=starrystarrygirl;176325]Okay, I figured I'd just type this here seeing as how there are so many anal threads open already. Hopefully someone can help! :)

Anyway, my husband really wants to try this, and I would love to fulfill this for him, plus I'm interested in it, however, every time that we try, be it with a finger or a toy, something always seems to go wrong. I've tried without lube, which I know is a big no-no, but when we do use lube, it seems to sting some and become uncomfortable. Has this happened to others before? And how did y'all get around it? Is there a lube for sensitive skin? I really want to please my hubby and like I said, I'm also interested in sharing this with him. I have to say though, it gets a bit frustrating for the both of us with all these attempts gone wrong. :([/quote]

Starry:

Try using plain old KY or surgilube, this is what is used at the Gyn. Many times the burning is caused b/c you are tense. You have to relax, use the lube and try. Also, have a glass of wine to relax you before hand, this helps. Have him stimulate (gently touching) the area before inserting anything--good to do if he's doing oral on you. Keep trying!

I've never tried it that way. I have to admit that I'm curious about it, as well as being a bit repulsed by the idea of going there. Besides, when faced with the choice between a friendly vagina and the waste disposal system, its no contest as far as I'm concerned.

Thanks for the tips, Sera! Hopefully all works out well.

Me and my boyfriend tried it last night, after lots of contemplation and worrying like crazy that it would hurt I thought i'd give it a go! We started in the spooning position and he was kissing me and talking to me so I felt really relaxed, we used some lube and it was so easy, it didn't hurt at all for me, which was my main concern, it was just a different feeling. Definitely one to get used to! I assumed it would really hurt and, I know it's different for everyone but I say try it slowly and on your terms and if you don't like it then you don't have to do it.

My sister is a gynaecologist and she disagrees with Brandye. But I suppose IF that discussion has to be taken it should not be through me since I'm only a blacksmith and doesn't understand half of it.

--> I LOVE anal sex as a spice in my sex life. But it has to be done carefully, otherwise it can hurt.

Normally he uses his fingers first and I give him a blow job to get him wet. From there we just take it slow, him lying behind me (I have my back turned) and I run the show at this point.

We go back and forth - all the time getting him a little more in. You have to be patient, but it can work.

All I know it's something you have to be really informed about it before jumping in. I've tried it with someone who didn't know what they were doing and it was one of the worst sexual experiences I've ever had! I was terrified to try it again, but I've since learned more about it and found someone who is willing to ease me into to it. I haven't gotten past a finger yet but I'm getting there. Hope it works out for you!

I tried it once with my husband cause its ONE of his fantasies and im sorry to say that it hurts like hades...........

It can hurt as much as any type of sex can hurt if: you don't get relaxed enough and don't use enough of lubricant. I like anal sex and was also afraid it would hurt and I remember first time at the very beginning I wasn't relaxed at all, all muscles tensed. My bf was really careful, helped me to relax, then everything went well.

the only tip I can give you is DO NOT TRY IT WITHOUT LUBE!!!!!!!!!

huge mistake the first time my boyfriend and I took this step we were caught up in the horniness and I wanted him to do it but had no lube..I immediately regretted it. But with lube if you get desensitizing put it on or let him and let it sit for a couple of minutes and then let him SLOWLY enter..I find it to be extremely sexy now that we have it down pat, no shame in it.. you should enjoy it once you get used to it..also instead of squeezing your muscles inwards such as during sex when he enters push outwards it makes it a lot easier for him to enter and causes you less pain..but once it's in it doesn't hurt to me at least it may be different for you..but I will say if it hurts like hell automatically..you didn't let the lube sit on long enough..so automatically give up until your ready for another try and make sure to re-lube and also this is extremely important make sure he's "WELL LUBED" that's all I have to tell you I hope it works for you.
<3

I'd say the desensilizer part of some lubes are a bit dangerous though SM33. The man can become a bit out of control (if he's inexperienced) and the woman won't feel any possible damage being done...

[QUOTE=alban lusitanae;183946]The man can become a bit out of control (if he's inexperienced) and the woman won't feel any possible damage being done...[/QUOTE]

just my take on this..i've tried a few and i've never used one that I couldn't feel EVERYTHING..I've found them extremely worth while just using them on the entrance thats really all that hurts..once it's past that it's smooth sailing from there...so as long as you don't say hey "lets rub it all over the hand of a toothbrush stick it inside you twirl it around and repeat till you feel nothing"

i'm pretty sure your safe...

but inexperienced guys simply have to be toned down a bit before you begin tell him that he's gonna take it easy or it's not gonna happen again..and you'll tell him when your comfortable enough for him to get a little more rough..actually I take that back never use the phrase "more Rough" just you'll let him know when he can test the boundaries a LITTLE further..and I mean emphasize LITTLE.

hope that helped
<3

I you have to ask - well, just try it yourself - then get back to me.

[QUOTE=H'Pool-Gerl;173943][COLOR="Plum">[SIZE="3">Me & My Boyfriend Have Dun Everything, Except Anal He Really Wants To Do It & I Do Too Accept I Am Really Scared Incase It Hurts & I Get Really Embarrassed About :o ... Soo A Thought Maybe Some People Could Fill Me In & Tell Me What Its Like[/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Me personally love the slight pain of anal but to those of the 'softer touch' I find that if you relaxe and your man takes it slow you don't even feel the pain.

I had to read a LOT before I try this (in the active part). It's a wonderful and different sensation from a vagina. However, I used various lubes (to see what she felt better with), went anilingus and fingers (one then two) and only then I made myself in :) Men who see this as a way to release their violent feelings should be avoided and many do. It's dangerous ONLY if people do not read about it and do STUPID and IGNORANT things like FISTING or NO LUBE (subliminal capitalization intended)

Anal isnt for everyone. My 3 year relationship, she loved it. My last disliked it. I myself love it.

It doesnt hurt if you do it right, but that doesnt mean you will or wont like it. Just make sure of a few things.

Be clean!!! Have a bowel movement 2 hours before anal. Or do a full enema 15 min before. If its dirty, it will hurt.

Start small, start with a finger, then two, then three, or another object. After relaxing your o ring, THEN try the penis.

GO SLOW. Have him go in very very slow. When he first starts fingering you, have him just lightly press on your anus, then periodicly add a little more pressure till his finger slips in. Tell him not to go in and out at the start until you feel comfterable. No pumping while your still a noobie.

LUBE LUBE LUBE. Use plenty of this stuff. It needs to be like a slip and slide, one where the mat is covered in oil. If you dont use enough lube, it will hurt.

RELAX. If you are tense, your ass will be too. Take it easy, take a warm bath, play some light music, have some aeromatic oils or incents. When he starts just breath deep and try and enjoy it, dont be scared, if your scared and tense up, it can cause it to hurt.

Anal doesnt hurt if you do it right. Its not for everyone but you might as well give it a try because there is the chance that it IS for you.

Enjoy

i've been wanting to try this for a long time...my boyfriend once penetrated me with just the head of his penis. it wasn't really planned...we were in spooning position and i just gently leaned against him to feel slightly more pressure and it just slipped in. (from all the horror stories i've heard, i didn't expect it to go in that easily)

my main concern is that anything that penetrates me (even something tiny) causes this burning sensation around the opening. it's the normal feeling i get when i go to the bathroom, but it's very uncomfortable and would distract me from any pleasure...(yes we use enough lube, yes it is water based, yes it is KY)

does this happen to anyone else? and if so, does that burning feeling usually go away after the guy fully penetrates or what?

my x was against it too but once we took it slow she loved it

and the best lube is lube

Guys - you have a prostate gland which reacts very well to anal - it is your P-Spot that sends your orgasms through the roof. Women do not have a prostate, tyvm, so if anyone should be receiving anal - it is you men.

[QUOTE=eminatic;185275]i've been wanting to try this for a long time...my boyfriend once penetrated me with just the head of his penis. it wasn't really planned...we were in spooning position and i just gently leaned against him to feel slightly more pressure and it just slipped in. (from all the horror stories i've heard, i didn't expect it to go in that easily)

my main concern is that anything that penetrates me (even something tiny) causes this burning sensation around the opening. it's the normal feeling i get when i go to the bathroom, but it's very uncomfortable and would distract me from any pleasure...(yes we use enough lube, yes it is water based, yes it is KY)

does this happen to anyone else? and if so, does that burning feeling usually go away after the guy fully penetrates or what?[/QUOTE]

It could have been because of cleanness. Or because if it was one of your first anal expierences, a penis head is fairly large, and a quick opening of the O ring hurts when its not ready for it.

[QUOTE=Malfestus;185319]It could have been because of cleanness. Or because if it was one of your first anal expierences, a penis head is fairly large, and a quick opening of the O ring hurts when its not ready for it.[/QUOTE]

yeah but even a finger causes the same sensation and i've tried on many occasions...i don't think cleanliness is the problem either...:confused:

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;185290]Guys - you have a prostate gland which reacts very well to anal - it is your P-Spot that sends your orgasms through the roof. Women do not have a prostate, tyvm, so if anyone should be receiving anal - it is you men.[/QUOTE]

LOL
for sure!!! :D

For Eminatic, I know Brandye has mentioned that since the anus isn't as flexible as the vagina.. it can get tiny tears (think paper cuts). Even if you are using lube, the lube could be irritating the tears.
I have had this happen before only when like I have a "movement" that is hard... TMI! LOL :eek:

[QUOTE=eminatic;185344]yeah but even a finger causes the same sensation and i've tried on many occasions...i don't think cleanliness is the problem either...:confused:[/QUOTE]

Hrmmm, in that case it could be a number of things. First, it could be the lube your using, I know for me, some types of lube for some reason seem to cause a burning sensation durring penetration, so see if another lube works better. If thats not it, make sure that you are in fact clean wether you believe it or not, i suggest a full bowel movement 2 hours before or an enema. If your sure your clean and it still hurts thats out of the question. Id like to believe that relaxation could be a problem. Try fingering yourself when your masturbating alone, learn about your ass on your own for a bit so you become more comfterable with it. If you finger yourself and it doesnt hurt, its probably a relaxation problem. If it still hurts and you know your relaxed, your clean, its not the lube, then it might be a minor tear that stings to touch, it happens and is nothing to freak out about.

Well anal used to hurt for me aswell but I have found that when I lay on my stomach and I am completely relaxed aswell as lubricated it really doesn't hurt that much. "He" has to remember that the most important thing is that you are well lubricated and that he starts off gently. The most important thing for you is to not be tensed up when it happens. I understand that you might get a little nervous when the time comes but remember to stay "RELAXED" & "LUBRICATED". After the first few times, it will just come natural.....Hope this helps.

anal does hurt the first time but you will end up loving it.
its easer to do it in the shower if you dont like using lub but it is a great experiance to those who havent tried it

[QUOTE=Aaliyahbell72;231220]anal does hurt the first time but you will end up loving it.

its easer to do it in the shower if you dont like using lub but it is a great experiance to those who havent tried it[/QUOTE]

[COLOR="red">This response is totally inaccurate.[/COLOR]

Always, always, use a lubricant, like it or not, shower or not.
Love it? Not everyone does.

Here is a link to an article I believe you should have read first, before posting.

"Playing Ball" and How To Tips for Prostate Massage
This is also an excellent tutorial for people interested in and concerned about the how-to of Anal stimulation as well as play.

Please, before posting for the first time, read the FAQs, Posting Guidelines, and especially some of the articles listed in the Index, all found at the top of the main screen.

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating

[quote=Aaliyahbell72;231220]anal does hurt the first time but you will end up loving it.
its easer to do it in the shower if you dont like using lub but it is a great experiance to those who havent tried it[/quote]

I cannot find a major way to say ouch by this statement...just water is painful. Loving it; highly doubt it. Looks like someone has been watching too much porn.:rolleyes:

And if you're in the shower DON'T USE SOAP as a lube either. SERIOUSLY irritating to the colon lining, especially combined with something being thrust in there repeatedly.

Soap is definitely a no-no.

I also have done anal in the shower, and the report I got back is that it wasn't nearly as painful.

This is probably not because water is a great lubricant, but because when your entire body is being warmed by hot water, you are forced to relax. Relaxation is the most important thing.

Yes, anal does tend to hurt. But you can minimize the pain by using a lubricant each and every time you have anal sex. You can also get special lubes designed for anal sex that contain benzocaine which numbs the anal area so it doesn't hurt so bad but make sure that your partner uses a condom or it'll numb him too.

Honestly its a case by case thing. It depends on the size of his penis and everything. When me and my SO first did it initially it was painful as he was entering but once he was in it felt so good that I had forget all about the initial pain lol!