My best friend is cheating on his gf who is also a good friend of mine.
YES EEK THEY ARE IN A MONOGAMOUS BOTH AGREED UPON BEING FAITHFUL REALTIONSHIP.
No me and my best friend haven't been talking. He's been saying a lot of untruths and trying to make me out to be a total loser. Goes to girls I'm talking to and makes me seem like a terrible lay. And I didn't learn this until I slept with my current fwb and she looked at me and said wow I'm glad I didn't listen to "joe" (well call him joe lol)
Anyways joe has been sleeping with his ex gf and another girl. He constantly lies to his gf (well call her pam). He tells her he doesn't drink and smoke anymore but then goes out and gets lit. High. Smokes a pack of cigs and sleeps with someone. He brags about it to another mutually exclusive friend (its our group of friiends we've all known since high school).
Now I want to tell her he's cheating on her. I mean he calls her immature. Tells her she needs to get her life together and tells her she's bad with money. Meanwhile he blows all his money as soon as he's paid. He throws tantrums over not getting a text. I mean hell I'm currently caring for my mom who had next surgery and a grandfather with stage 4 lung cancer. He texts me and bitches that I don't text him anymore and that I must be "too cool"...
He also suffers anger problems. He decided to talk trash and make fun of me about my ex (for the senior members you remember) and so I told him to shut his mouth and that he wouldn't like it if I talked about his deceased mother why bring up something that hurts me. He rushed me. Punched me in the face and I wound up choking him out before he did any real damage. (Large boy)
I'm kinda scared he's going to attack her one day and I just don't know what to do. On one hand I could do the right thing. On another I could just mind my own business...but idk
Ducy, just stay out of the drama and do not become involved. Let the girl learn for herself.
Time me thinks for you to move on and learn to be an adult and act like one. This begins by making new more mature responsible friendships.
If your best friend is all that you state, what does this say about you?
I agree with the best friend-remark of the doc. I actually read your post twice to figure out if we are really talking your best friend here. He must have some pretty damn good qualities to top such bad behavior...
I can see your dilemma... and I also understand the doc's message of her learning herself. On the other hand (placing myself in the gf's position); if I'd discover my bf has been cheating on me and I also happen to find out a good friend of mine has known this and hasn't had the guts to tell me... than he surely would be no friend of mine anymore.
Placing myself in your position: I am very loyal when it comes to friends and to me that means I care for their well-being. So I wouldn't let her be played like that; perhaps even putting her health at risk (since you mention him possibly hurting her AND the monogamous faithful relationship combined with him sleeping around does sound like a mix to bad thing too!). Probably I'd first ask him to come clean with her. If he wouldn't, I'd tell her. And she could use me as a boxing tool to get over the first shock of disbelieve or even refuse to believe me at all. I'd rather lose a friendship trying to help her see the mistakes and support her on pulling herself through it all, than keep a friendship based on lies.
I apologize. I should have said it is a former best friend. We were very close for a long time and then I got him a job and he suddenly started showing a different side. We have only talked a few times since december. Mostly when your mutual friends want to hang or are having a bday.
I do understand your friends tell you who you are. That may be why I have started erasing many people from my life. Like my female friend who calls me hysterical 4 weeks ago about how no guy wants her....a week later she's madly in love with her bofriend. Two weeks after that she's engaged and gets mad at me because I say she is being ignorant and is not as madly in love. (She's 18)
I figured I should stay out of it but I don't like watching people cheat. Especially when he calls and texts my friend about how he had a quickie wefore he went to pams house and then when and spent the night with her.
I would tell them as a friend I think you should
[color=green]he's not a real friend if he's dragging your name in the dirt!!!
i can't tell you what to do, but as for me, i get even........i probably wouldn't tell, but i would sleep with his gf, and probably his ex too....and if i'm really lucky, have a 3some with both of them and tape it and send it to him (but that involves telling and both girls would have to be equally upset)......as for fighting, he would have to bring it and i probably would F him up
but that's me from back in the day[/color]
LOL - thank you, Ducy, for giving me ALL the pertinent information up front.
This guy is out of control and there is a reason for it but that's not your business. The next time he acts out - call the cops. Be done with him.
Move up to a better group of friends by changing your venues.
Tell "let's call her pam" by way of letting her see the action for herself. Invite her out for drinks (whatever) where she can see her guy in action. No need to say anything. Just plan your arrival to the correct time period.
Because one thing you can be sure of is that this guy is self-destructing and the time when he can no longer conceal it is at hand.