So I am obviously not as sexually endowed as many people on this site (my name makes it obvious), but I really wanted to answer your question. I know you said in general, but I am a pretty general person. I do have sex just to get my guy off and it makes me very happy. All of my relationships I would have sex to get my guy off. I find it exciting to get him off and I think it is just part of a give and take relationship. I also have sex with my guy pretty much whenever I know he wants to. I think of it this way. I would not be impressed if I wanted to have sex and he said no, so when he wants to I am usually game even if it means just getting him off.

Naturally, there must be mutual pleasure involved and since I have yet to meet a man who DIDN'T make it his business to please, unlike many women I know, I went with the culture and the education angle.

First reason I have sex is to please me. Second, to please a partner. I can take great pleasure from pleasing a paertner even when I am not interested in orgasm for myslef. I can get very disturbed, however, when some guy leaves me high and dry to finish myself.

Judging from my (mostly female) patients' comments, some really like it; some tolerate it and some are looking for excuses to not participate. I have no idea what the genral population of women thinks. I do know that roughly a quarter have never experienced orgasm. And many of these really do not care.

Women are not taught to enjoy sex as sex. They are taught to use sex as a tool to please, control, and manipulate men. While this may have recently changed in sex education - it has NOT changed in our cultures.

Some of us have 'broken through' and have embraced our full sexuality but most, sadly, have not.

I think the bigger question here is "Do men really want to please women?".

Too many of my friends think sex in a marriage is a given. They honestly think their wives should fall down with there legs in the air when they feel the urge. Honestly, they sicken me. I work very hard to give my wife the same level of satisfaction that she gives me. There is no way I can, but I do my best. Her sex drive is lower then mine at this point in our marriage, but I expect as we age that will flip and I hope I'm as good to her as she's been to me.

My point is that women are not here for our pleasure. This is a two way street. If men (in general) were more willing to please their partners, then the act wouldn't be a chore for the women.

In my opinion, if a married man is going to pay for sex he has failed to fulfill his duties in his marriage.

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;238723]Women are not taught to enjoy sex as sex. They are taught to use sex as a tool to please, control, and manipulate men. While this may have recently changed in sex education - it has NOT changed in our cultures.

Some of us have 'broken through' and have embraced our full sexuality but most, sadly, have not.[/QUOTE]

That seems to be my experience as well, at least here in North America, how about others from different parts of the world?

[QUOTE=Buck Naked;238764]I think the bigger question here is "Do men really want to please women?".

Too many of my friends think sex in a marriage is a given. They honestly think their wives should fall down with there legs in the air when they feel the urge. Honestly, they sicken me. I work very hard to give my wife the same level of satisfaction that she gives me. There is no way I can, but I do my best. Her sex drive is lower then mine at this point in our marriage, but I expect as we age that will flip and I hope I'm as good to her as she's been to me.

My point is that women are not here for our pleasure. This is a two way street. If men (in general) were more willing to please their partners, then the act wouldn't be a chore for the women.

In my opinion, if a married man is going to pay for sex he has failed to fulfill his duties in his marriage.[/QUOTE]

I agree one hundred percent. If my partner is not getting off, I'm not doing my job. That's my personal opinion on the matter, so take it with a grain of salt, but still... Too many people are concerned with their own pleasure too care about the person they are with. I know from experience. Ask me about it sometime.

With my late wife, although we could enjoy a very mutually satisfying sex life, and she was very orgasmic with me and could easily be brought to climax over and over, she seldom was really interested in pleasing me beyond, "put it in and get it over with" after HER pleasure. I guess she felt ANY sex with her should be considered a bonus for me. And although during our 34 years together we did go through some very sexually exciting and adventurous periods of time (role play, dress up, watching porn, light bondage, etc.), she was often interested only in getting HER rocks off, and whatever I did or didn't feel was my affair. This was an emotional as well as physical attitude--she loved me dearly, but seemed to not love pleasing me, although she certainly loved being pleased by me, especially orally. She never reciprocated that, however. So saying that if a man would be more interested in pleasing his woman, the woman would be more interested or enthusiastic in pleasing him, is not always true.
Michael

ok, for one men go to sex more becasue of psychological reasons not so much sexual. they might not want to go through all the motions to seduce a woman or they might have this "call" girl fantasy i think that paid sex in todays world is more about the idea of who they are having sex with than the actual sex and most women love sex and love pleasing men. now like all things there will be exceptions (not including lesbians) but for the most part women love to please and be pleased

[QUOTE=weasel;238855]ok, for one men go to sex more becasue of psychological reasons not so much sexual. they might not want to go through all the motions to seduce a woman or they might have this "call" girl fantasy i think that paid sex in todays world is more about the idea of who they are having sex with than the actual sex and most women love sex and love pleasing men. now like all things there will be exceptions (not including lesbians) but for the most part women love to please and be pleased[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry, but that is just blatantly untrue. Almost ALL of the men I consider "friends" are horny bastards who are only in it for the orgasm, with no care at all towards the "psychological reasons." Almost every woman that I have gotten to know well enough to talk to them about this kind of thing has said the opposite. They place an emotional, almost spiritual, emphasis on sex. Now, don't get me wrong, there are exceptions, but as a generalization, there seem to be more men that are only in it for the orgasm, and more women that are in it for "love."

[QUOTE="weasel">ok, for one men go to sex more becasue of psychological reasons not so much sexual. they might not want to go through all the motions to seduce a woman or they might have this "call" girl fantasy i think that paid sex in todays world is more about the idea of who they are having sex with than the actual sex and most women love sex and love pleasing men. now like all things there will be exceptions (not including lesbians) but for the most part women love to please and be pleased[/QUOTE]

This is describes a few guys I know. Ill speak honestly.

The guys I know who do well with women are like this; they look at a women, think "geez, I'd love to **** her".. they love the thrill of the chase! Than, after the deed is done, they being to tink "what was I thinking?" and off to a new chase.

This also explains why such guys say no to alot of women; when women put it on the table, with not alot of 'work' required, its not fun. Its all about the thrill.. having to work hard, knowing that you're going to put yourself on the line and almost be vulnerable, and see what happens.

In reality, the guys like this (as I said this is from my experiance) are guys who do well with women. The guys just looking for any orgasm going are the guys that dont do so well.

Yes, immature men are ONLY after the chase and the orgasm - for themselves.

This is why I have nothing to do with them.

While such men may be 'successful' with some women - they aren't getting all of the women.

Not even the orgasm.. just the chase.

No they are not getting all of the women, there are more than a few women who find it repulsive. But these lads still do better than most.

And on another note, you'd be suprised at some of the women who have gone for it. Far from the typical, immature 'airhead' sort of girl I hazard most predict are the ones who go for it.

Just to set the record straight, I was talking about my friends, not me. I am ready to find someone, settle down, and spend the rest of my life with them. In fact, I think I have, but I'm not going to rush things there...

as we all know sex is a common thing in this world, as i had read some books about it sex is a biological needs of a person, perversion is pretty normal to experience whether your a man or a woman, denying this fact is a hypocrite.

It would depend on the person for me, which shows a form of emotional link. I have to respect them to want to please them. I love pleasing my current partner as we're connected and get along very well. If I was in a relationship where I was upset and felt disconnected, I wouldn't be happy to please them, and I doubt I'd put in the effort.

Give as good as you get, peeps, and you won't get many complaints!

[QUOTE=wet_suit_one;239092]Pray tell me, what is "perversion"?
?[/QUOTE]

I think I need to know what "the perversion" thing is also;):p:D

I, personally, generally do want to please my boyfriend... ALL the time. Sometimes I feel like I may be addicted to sex because it's all I want. The result of this constant desire to please him is our 7 month old daughter. I don't have any regrets though. She's my little munchkin.

I do occasionally have an urge to please other men, though.. I never have!! I will never cheat on my boyfriend. I think about it sometimes and that desire builds up because I know its the "forbidden fruit". I do well controlling it. I love my boyfriend to death and back and would never do anything to harm him... I've decided to just masturbate when I get like that.

She's such a good girl!

Been a while since I've been in here. Quick update, T and I are still living together and loving life.

We are pretty mutual about it. We each have nights that all we want is to pleasure the other, and we each have nights that we crave the release for ourselves. Sometimes one will surprise the other by being horny to GIVE, and sometimes the desire is to RECEIVE, and sometimes it's both with the equal desire to do it all. In any of those situations, it's rare for one to find the other unwilling to participate. Sex...in fact, relationships period...are partnerships. It's all about give and take and working together.

Whether in bed or not, any person in a meaningful relationships should have moments where what they do is for the sole purpose of pleasing their mate. Similarly, any person in such a relationship should be able to desire that type of pleasure for themselves. It's just that-desire, not selfishness, and there's nothing wrong with it.

mikkiji,
i agree with u. but some women actually will please the guy more if he will please her.

You give what you get!
You get what you give!