Hmm... there is this guy i am into. And i am a very lustful person and am not very proud of it but i am cuz sometimes i have no shame. But this guy i have been talking to him and he is cool and stuff but we always end up talking about sexual stuff and i keep saying sorry and he is like damb ur horny... see i don't wanna get used but i do wanna talk dirty and like do dirty things with him... really dirty things. Shoudl i back off cuz i so don't feel lady like and even though i am a sexual person i don't want him to feel that is always what he is gonna get... cuz there is so much more to me then that but sexuality is a big thing in my life i love getting turned on and there is lots that turn me on...what shoudl i do.. he is coming over tommorow and he is leaving in a week and i feel wrong. I just get really ashamed as a woman... and having a mind like a man and like beign lady like at the same time i cannot balance it out... i donno how to find my balance between totally being seductive towards him and being my funny cool down to earth self. I just get ashamed in it... i don't really know what i thik lol
Tue, 06/22/2004 - 06:07
#1
dirty talk and you
Yeah. See my ex, well i was with him for like a year and a half and the thing is i am a very sexual person and when i trust someone and like them i will let them kinow it i donno it just comes outa be i am a very affectionate person so i have a very high sex drive too. Well likea month of talking to him i remember writing in a diary one time that i was pissed cuz he said... you are such a sweet girl it amazes me u have so many great ideas... this meaning u r so sweet that i don't get why you have such a dark sexual side, and i let him know i didn't like what he said and i put am i not allowed to be nice, intelligent, thoughful, funny and purely sexual at the same time, if not i will try to be one of those at a time so i don't confuse you. But you get mypoint i didn't feel he respected all sides of me and i fear this guy will too. So i will just show him who i am and if he can't take it then, it's his loss. And i fear that if i just "run with it" i will get msyelf into trouble and do things i didn't wanna do, in turn all i really have to do is watch out for myself and be confortable with it... and hopefully i can learn to bejust that... confortable.
i too enjoy a little naughty talk.
i used to a lot when i talked to people on IMs.
but there is such a thing as "toning it down a bit". lol
i mean im pretty sure guys try to restrain themselves. otherwise they'd be saying all kinds of stuff to chicks walkiing down the street. well some do lol.
i think its great that she is so passionate. sometimes i wish i was more of that. but at the same time, thats not all she is. and its possible that coming on too strong intimidates men.
i mean if a guy wants to have an intelligent conversation about the world, politics, life in general, and it somehow always comes back to sex, then i can see why he would get frustrated.
and im sure makebelieve doesn't want to come acrosss as just some sex crazed bimbo. im sure she has intelligent things to say and enjoys other things.
i think the key is either moderation in what you say and do, or find a guy who is just as "nasty" as you and RUN WITH IT!!!!
makebeleiveguru if I understand you correctly you are ashamed of your raw sexual side of yourself. You somehow think that if you get down and dirty you are no longer a lady.
That simply is not true. We are complex people with many sides to us. There is no shame in being lustful and wanting to have amazing sex in any way you define it.
I am 38 years old and I know a thing or two about what it is to be a complete woman. I can be very prim and proper and act the full lady role when that is required of me. I can also feel my full passionate side and allow that to take over when that fits what I want to do at the time.
It is not a matter of you having to chose which type of woman to be but learning how to be who you are and making all sides of your personality fit for you.
As for you worried that if you show yourself to be to sexual your guy will think he is always going to get it. Well just tell him no. You get to decided when and how you are going to be intimate and to what degree you will let yourself go.
I understand your confusion in learning to balance all the sides of your personality. It takes time and growing into your own skin. Give yourself a break and don't allow yourself to think that you are any less then who you are. You are a woman and you define what that means for you.
I'm not sure I understand the question! But I do have a couple of general thoughts:
Learn to be proud of your sexuality and sensuality. It's perfectly "okay" to be lustful and passionate - and it's quality that escapes many women! Society programs it out or something.
Sometimes it's important to "push the envelope." By that I mean that I don't generally advise people not to do something if they're not "comfortable with it." Sometimes we have to be a little uncomfortable as we test and develop ourselves. (Exercise might be a good analogy.)
As for what that means in this situation... well, I don't know! It sounds like you are hesitant with this particular guy for some reason that isn't clear to me... generally, it's good to trust one's instincts.
Wally
"Crazed bimbo" that was good Demon....LOL
Well, what your ex saw in the sweet side of you can be somewhat stereotypical of both sexes: nice people don't have amazing sex. Obviously, this is not true. I am assuming that you are of younger age, so, as others have said, you just have to be comfortable being yourself and express the different aspects of "you." As long as you are happy, safe and aren't doing anything to harm another person (emotionally or physically) then just go with what feels right for you! Live for your own expectations and rules and try not to let what others think or may think get to you. Your life = your life and no one can tell you who or what to be but you. And don't worry, it gets easier as you gain a little more experience and age.
Suki seems to ooze self-assurance and self-confidence. At the end of the day,
"your life" is your very own and should be enjoyed and lived to the fullest.
Is that sort of talk a "fetish"???
Dirty talk could be a fetish, I suppose, for some. But, it really is quite common.
Suki you really say the sweetest things don't you.