I've been going with the same woman for 11-12 years and we have an awesome relationship. We have many common interests but have always encouraged each other in our independent ways as well. We have also had a relatively good sexual history, but recently I've begun to notice a change.
You see, for the vast majority of our relationship we have engaged in great oral (she has always felt uncomfortable about me going "down" on her though she seems to and says that she enjoys performing fellatio) and vaginal sex. I nearly always wait for her to come first, that way she is sure to come. And it is NOT like I don't enjoy these types of sex, only that I have become obsessed with anal sex.
My interset in anal sex began when I was in my early twenties. I asked my girlfriend if she'd like to try it (the same as today) and we did it, but rather awkwardly. Of course the internet was rather primitive then and forums such as these nonexistent. As a result when, after I had ejaculated unexpectedly in her anus (no, it's a rare event for me), after she sat on the edge of the bed a small (very small) portion of feces slid onto the bed. We had taken a shower together before sex but still this incident had always left my girlfirend with a distaste for anal sex.
For years I didn't say anything even though I was dying for it. The smothness of the anus and the tightness of the sphincters really drive me out of my mind. Not to say that I don't enjoy a deep vaginal penetration, just that there is something especially tantalizing about the femael anus. Recently she has come around to it again, and I always make sure that I stimulate her clitoris while I slowly, methodically pump her anus. She usually comes when I do this but she still aggrees to anal sex only once out of every 4 or 5 vaginal acts. Also she has never allowed me to lick her anus, even after baths. As I said she seems comfortable with my penis in her anus from time-to-time, but does not allow me to stimulate it orally; something I have been wanting to do for-oh-about ten years. 
Whenever I get lucky with anal sex with her I refuse to wash my penis "guiding" hand because the smell is so amazing! (yes, I tell her and she thinks I'm mad--be that as it may, I LOVE IT!) Anyway, I thought in time that my enthusiasm for anal sex would begin to receed, but it has not. Not at all. Now what am I to do? 
Tue, 07/08/2003 - 07:45
#1
Different sexual interests
If you are asking whether differing sexual tastes should end a relationship, the answers depends on how much you love each other and the extent of the difference.
It sounds like you are getting most of what you want. Many women won't entertain anal sex at all, so you seem to be doing just fine there with a woman who appears to be willing to compromise to please you. The real question seems to me to be, are you prepared to compromise for her?
Btw - not washing your guiding hand afterwards is only a problem if you are then going near her vagina with the same hand (or making me a sandwich
). Bacteria transferred from the anus to her vagina can cause infections.
I agree with Guido, all in all, you seem to be doing fine and both getting out of the relationship a balance - sexually.
Now, that said, you DO need to appreciate her needs as well. And no, i'm not talking about jsut the ssex, but her perceptions of why you like the smell of feces on your hand during and after anal sex!
Take it from a man who engages in ANAL sex alot, cleaning out the lower colon using an enema bag/shower shot/or store-bought enema, will allow for a more clean time for her (feces rubbing on the spcninter is NOT pleasureable) and still allow you the "aroma" you like!
Based on what you said, she feels uncomfortable with the sight and smell of feces during and/or after anal sex. Well, since the last time that happend you had to wait a long time to get back into it, you MAY have to modify your needs and wants and allow her the right to be a bit more "clean" down there!
As it applies to your relationship? You have to decide if satifying your sexual need for anal sex will be the determining factor in a long term relationship! Personally, since you aren't gay, and have alot more to factor in, it may be a short sighted decision to base your happiness on anal sex! Just my 2 cents worth on that!
Appreciate the responses, but I'd like to elaborate.
Understand that I am not a "Feca-" phile. Personally i think it is rather disgusting to incorporate the pure, unadulterated carnal slick bliss that is sex with the painfully banal, such as la(?) merde. I am much more excited by the physical body.
Also, I am not so shallow that I see my realtionship with her as simply a vehicle for sex; that's preposterous.
Sex is quite empty and ultimately vacuous without the intense emotions of love, nes pas?
I just want it all, and, however incredible, I feel reassuringly certain it will come to pass, one way or another. . .but love should always come before sex (now enough of preaching).
And it should (but apparently it isn't obvious) go without saying that hygene should always be considered adequately when engaging in any act that is conducive to the exchange of bodily fluids, including traces of urine or excrement. Although I am continually amazed at the prevalence of ignorance among the masses.
What I wonder is if any might have some SUBTLE suggestions to stimulate and excite her interest, as I'm quite sure she gains intense pleasure from anal penetration.
You are very nearly right on Deltablues83, only that, for me at least, it is less the smell of the skin around the anus than the actual feel of the anus itself.
When I was younger anal sex was very uncommon in North America, one could only secure such subject matter from Europe. Now, however, there has been a virtual explosion in its popularity in the U.S. For me it-anal penetration and rimming-just adds greater depth to a wonderfully fullfilling relationship. I think it is a folly and a great loss for heterosexual men and women to ignore the erotic possibilities of the anus. As long as the pleasures and desires are mutually rewarding and healthful, there should be no inhibitions.