DD2, that's surprising, because every woman I've spoken to in person finds this extremely uncomfortable to down right painful. I'm yet to meet the woman who says she doesn't... And though lacking the experience, I don't find this amazing at all. Sure; the vagina has little nerve-endings and even babies fit through there. But the entrance and cervix itself plus the surrounding organs inside are sensitive. It is forceful penetration of a vagina that's naturally closed, without it being prepared. If entering a vagina with a penis when not prepared hurts, it's not much of a surprise a speculum could. Poking of a cervix with a swap and fingers, while a cervix does not expect anything to enter but a few sperm-cells, I've heard several describe this as the feeling of bad menstrual cramps. Not to mention the exam is done in an uncomfortable position and the psychological factor of the exam being private and invasive. Then we haven't discussed the other things I've heard so many complain about; speculum too hot or not pre-heated at all, accidentally pinched skin, being too dry causing too much friction, speculum entered crooked, feeling so uncomfortable/nervous all muscles cramp up and entering becomes impossible, etc.

When it comes to the difference between men and women as patients, I feel that the physical nature of the exam is quite different. An exam of scrotum and penis, I'd find more comparable to an exam of the vulva, being both external. And I personally don't find such external exams uncomfortable at all (yet not arousing either). I could imagine anal exams being a bit more sensitive for men, given the prostate. But personally I find vaginal exams at least 10 times more uncomfortable than anal exams. And I haven't had a papsmear myself, only pelvic exams. The position of an anal exam is more comfortable: lying on my side or bending over, opposed to lying on my back with my legs up. It not only feels vulnerable and lacking any options to adjust my own body, it also makes the angle rather unpractical to me as a patient. I examine my own cervix daily and even taught my former bf how to do it on me, without causing any discomfort at all. So also when doctors do it, I get this urge to sit up or get on my hands and knees:rolleyes: On my back it's just uncomfortable, even when (s)he is really gentle. Advantage in anal exams is they always use plenty of lube, whereas in vaginal exams they only use a bit of water and only on my request. They tell me they don't use lube vaginally, because it could alter their findings:confused: Since I know that, I make sure to arrive plenty naturally lubricated:rolleyes:

When it comes to the gender of the doctors/nurses; I can't say that their gender matters. It's the attitude towards patients and their compassion that makes the difference. I'd actually dare to say that the attitude of a doctor/nurse towards a patient defines the (dis)comfort/pain-experience on many more levels than people dare to admit. When medical personnel treats a patient as a body instead of a person,
-they become less humane and less interested in the patient's experience, thus less gentle.
-they communicate less or not at all, which makes the activities more like surprises to the patient and thus becoming more jumpy and in defense-mode
-they become less prone to notice and adjust according to the patient's responses, adding to physical discomfort and to a sense of helplessness and vulnerability of the patient.
-the patient becomes more stressed in every sense of the word, leading to a cramped up body in both the muscular and hormonal/sensory way, therefor both physically creating more pain-sensation and the brain becoming more receptive to perceiving pain. Making the patient not only in pain, but likely to become very emotional (sad, affraid, helpless, etc), which can add to experiencing even more pain.

As you can see; such attitude can make the negative circle complete, without even taking into account the patient's pain-threshold, attitude towards the exam/doctors/body-part, state of health or individual history. Imagine what this would do to for example a former violence- or rape-victim? Or to a patient that was scared in the first place? They're basically unleashing hell upon the patient. The sad thing is that medical personnel that does work like this, are by their attitude also less likely to recognize nor realize how they're basically traumatizing patients... The good news is that almost all medical personnel does have good intentions with their patients. Which is the key to change!

Imagine what by the same logic this means for a patient to be treated by medical personnel with a humane attitude towards the patient; doctors that won't make the exam any harder than necessary by being gentle and compassionate, speaking and listening to the patient, paying attention to signals, adjusting to the needs of the patient whenever possible (and a lot is possible), helping the patient adjust the conditions herself, make it either quick or slow down or stop when necessary, etc. Result: the patient is more calm physically/emotionally/mentally and in less discomfort or pain. And it sounds great, huh? I can tell you; it feels great :) They call this patient-centered-care and I think any medical professional should adopt it!

In my experience, which is off course limited, the majority of doctors/nurses are somewhere in between both sides of the scale. Which subsequently means that the art of remaining calm and pain-free is more left to the devices of the patient than necessary. I'm fairly good at it, but have also gone totally upset during few exams. In my experience the public relations-departments of hospitals are better at adopting this patient-centered attitude than whatever happens in the examination-rooms. It's been such a relieve to have recently been in one building with at least 5 nurses and 2 doctors who do treat patients as promised in the brochures.

Why painful?
You have a hand inside pressing various bits and a hand outside bearing down to help the inside discern what's what with those internal bits and it is like being in a vice. Men would find testicles in a vice painful so why is it so hard to believe that women find ovaries in a vice painful?

Uncomfortable is NOT the word, DD, PAINFUL is the word.

[quote=Nom Noms]In the medical scene, males do have it better than females when it comes to exams though. Everytime I have ever gotten one, it hurt so bad I wanted to cry, and have a couple of times. It is definately not something any woman that I know personally would every want to have done. [/quote]

[quote=EvilEvilKitten]I've had nurses come back into the exam room with a crowbar to pry me off the ceiling enough times to know that pelvic exams are distinctly "unpleasant" things. For pain they rank right up there with "smash & flash" - i.e. mammograms.

Any questions? [/quote]

Now this is a revelation! This fact is apparently one of or thee best kept secrets in the world. I know that mammograms are extremely uncomfortable yet this is the first time in my life that not one but two people have talked about a pelvic exam being extremely uncomfortable--read: downright painful!

A. An inquisitive mind wants to know why. Is this as a result of having a speculum inserted and spread apart?

B. Other? What other?

I am simply amazed that nobody has ever mentioned or discussed this before in all the years I've been contributing to this and other forums, and, before all this--in a few relationships. I'm amazed and somewhat taken aback that nobody has ever brought this up. So, if it isn't too painful a topic, can we discuss this fact of life, now?

Why can a painful breast exam be a topic of mention, but not this?

-doc

Wet Suit,

Getting hit on in this situation sounds too much like a prostitute in a confessional propositioning the priest.

I have had young, male patients start to rise up when I check for hernia but it is simple physiological response and not lust. For women, ass EEK points out, not likely to respond. Just getting into the stirrups is uncomfortable.

And how do men feel when a man does it? It's a vulnerable situation that, at best, is physically uncomfortable. Even weirder for me if the person doing the exam is a hot chick.. LOL

Now imagine his reaction if that lovely female took his testicles in her cold hand and SQUEEZED them nice and tightly in a vice-like grip trying to trace by touch exactly how those little tiny tubes inside them ran..

Big difference - huh?

That's my point. I've had nurses come back into the exam room with a crowbar to pry me off the ceiling enough times to know that pelvic exams are distinctly "unpleasant" things. For pain they rank right up there with "smash & flash" - i.e. mammograms.

Any questions?

I am currently a massage student, and although the setting is a bit different, and we don't touch that area at all, sometimes that very same reaction can occur in males. It is a completely normal response. In the medical scene, males do have it better than females when it comes to exams though. Everytime I have ever gotten one, it hurt so bad I wanted to cry, and have a couple of times. It is definately not something any woman that I know personally would every want to have done.