[QUOTE=BAR007]Recently I was masterbating my gf's clit, as I always do, but for whatever reason I never used any fingers. I realize now that if I were to use a couple of fingers, while stimulating the clit, then things might be going more smoothly. My problem is this. I don't think I am getting my girlfriend to orgasm, despite what she says. I will be playing with her clit for 10-15 minutes or so and then when she starts to get more and more wet. It will finally all of a sudden feel like a lake/waterfall its so wet. I would say 15 seconds or so after it gets that wet she tells me to stop, but I'm pretty sure that when its that wet its go time! Only when its this wet are they fully arroused and really ready for action. So why would she repeatedly stop me from taking her all the way? Also I'm pretty certain she is faking after an incident recently as well. This time my hand was getting very tired, and I wasn't doing a very good job as well... oops it happens lol. Anyways I stopped, was about to "leave the area" but for whatever reason started again. I didn't do much different, but she started getting more into it. Finally she stopped me, said she came, but there was no "waterfall/lake" effect whatsoever. She said that it was quote "a tense orgrams" It totally didn't feel like I had gotten her off at all. Its driving me crazy and I don't know what to do. I think I am going to ask her to get herself off next time and watch what happens. I guess what I'm wanting to know is when its that wet has an orgasm happend or are things just getting started. Thanks a lot! :confused:[/QUOTE]
no ur doing a great job.but if u think that way try licking her clit when ur fingering her but when she tells u to sto just keep on doing it its just maybe she dosnt want go crazy .but yea my wife gushes and i love that it drives me wild she even sits on my face and gushes all over my face.she tells me to stop but i dont listen to her i just keep going till she had enough.when its wet lick that go down on her and lick every drop from her.shed love that trust me.let me know how it gose ok.

Well, you are never going to know for sure. Women choose to fake it once in a while for various reasons and it is not likely that you will really know. Even those women who have "waterfalls" (your term), do not always have that. Our orgasms differ widely from time, unlike men's that are pretty much the same over and over. If she is satisfied, not up to you to make her more satisfied. Men are not responsible for our sexual response, we are.

Oh my word Brandye, why cant/wont woman just enjoy an orgasm as much as we do. Im sure theres a conspiracey going on between all the woman all over the world against us men.....

Okay, I'm confused. For girls: is cumming the same thing as having an 'orgasm' ???

[QUOTE=bobafett]Okay, I'm confused. For girls: is cumming the same thing as having an 'orgasm' ???[/QUOTE]
I use the words synonamously but some people will relate "cumming" w/ "squirting" or female ejaculation which is a rare occurence compared to just a regular orgasm.

A female ejaculation is paired w/ an orgasm but an orgasm can occur w/out "squirting" if that makes sense.

A woman's nipples will become erect and smaller when she has a true orgasm.

I've had thousands of orgasms and never once did this physiological sign not occur.:)

Yes GenXwife, but womans nipples harden and soften all the time during sex--they are up and down up and down. Not to mention if you are a lover that pays attention (sucking, licking, biting) to their partners boobs, you never know from what stimuli this is occuring.

I love what Brandye said: If she is satisfied, not up to you to make her more satisfied. Men are not responsible for our sexual response, we are.

This couldn't be more true. It doesn't matter how good a lover you are, if your partner doesn't do it for herself, it ain't gonna' happen.

There is one thing certain women can't fake: flush face and chest. My last lover would go all red in her face and chest when she came. It was the hottest thing in the world, I loved it.

Also, just for the record: the faces, noises, and body language she made would be extremely hard to fake--I would know the difference. Not every woman is Merryl Streep!

Don't get me wrong, there are many different levels of intensity in an orgasm. Sometimes its subtle and quick...other times it's nearly overwhelming. It is nearly impossible to tell if she is faking a subtle orgasm. But her powerful orgasms could not be counterfeit. :)

im guessing Merryl is your lover?

> Recently I was masterbating my gf's clit, as I always do, but for whatever reason I never used any fingers. I realize now that if I were to use a couple of fingers, while stimulating the clit, then things might be going more smoothly.

How were you applying the required friction if not using fingers?

> My problem is this. I don't think I am getting my girlfriend to orgasm, despite what she says.

Maybe, yes; maybe no...This is one of the world's best kept secrets. As has been noted, above, flushness is hard to fake. The female orgasm is much more internalized than the male and we often do not have any indication that an orgasm has ocurred. This is why it is so important for a woman to communicate to her lover how she is responding to his touch and for what she may need now--and then that she has had an orgasm in no uncertain terms.

Men would much prefer that they be kept in the loop and not left to wonder "if" only to ask the age old question: "Did you come?"

> I will be playing with her clit for 10-15 minutes or so and then when she starts to get more and more wet. It will finally all of a sudden feel like a lake/waterfall its so wet. I would say 15 seconds or so after it gets that wet she tells me to stop, but I'm pretty sure that when its that wet its go time! Only when its this wet are they fully arroused and really ready for action. So why would she repeatedly stop me from taking her all the way?

If she has not yet had an orgasm then the most likely reason for her stopping you is because her clitoris has become much too sensitive to touch. This very often happens to women when the nerves of the clitoris have been stimulated too much by direct contact; or, when she has become extremely aroused. The fix for this and the answer to your question is to switch tactics. Leave the tip of the clitoris alone and concentrate on providing it the required friction indirectly This is accomplished by fingering the surrounding area and pieces-parts, namely the Inner Labia (small lips). You can fold them over the clitoris and rub it through them. This works great! In addition, you can stroke the shaft of the clitoris which lies beneath the skin between the folds of the upper vulva. Another tactic is to massage one or both of the inner lips and gently tugging on them. All this involves the clitoris indirectly and with much less intensity, yet continues the required friction.

> Also I'm pretty certain she is faking after an incident recently as well. This time my hand was getting very tired, and I wasn't doing a very good job as well

Her orgasms are her responsibility. You can not give them to her. It is each woman's responsibility to teach her man how to mimic the movements and pressures she uses when alone. If not, all any of us can hope for is getting it right about half the time. With something so important who wants this as his batting average.

> Anyways I stopped, was about to "leave the area" but for whatever reason started again. I didn't do much different, but she started getting more into it. Finally she stopped me, said she came, but there was no "waterfall/lake" effect whatsoever. She said that it was quote "a tense orgrams" It totally didn't feel like I had gotten her off at all. Its driving me crazy and I don't know what to do.

If after doing all of the above, then believe her. I'm not sure what you mean by there not being a "waterfal/lake" effect. Her wetness like precum is simply an indication of arousal. If there is a greater output then she must be aroused more fully; however, like us, once an orgasm happens, it is all about the release of pent up physical tension and emotions.

> I think I am going to ask her to get herself off next time and watch what happens.

Did you come up with this on your own or have you been reading some of my posts? This is exactly what you should do! Then, after observing how she does it, encourage her to take your fingers and guide them with her hand several times until you learn to mimic her unique and specific movements and pressures. The same holds true for her with you. You should demonstrate how you masturbate then take her hand and guide her movements a few times until she learns to mimic your method.

I guess what I'm wanting to know is when its that wet has an orgasm happend or are things just getting started.

Asked and answered.

Got more questions?

Here is a little gem. To determine if you girl is really cumming, poke the tip of your little pinky into the opening of her anus. When she orgasms, you will feel her anus pulse in 0.8 second impulses. This is the only surefire way of knowing.:)

Still not surefire, in my opinion. I've had orgasms where I know for a fact that didn't happen. I can have an orgasm without being able to feel ANY pulses or contracting at all.

[QUOTE=AptPupil]Oh my word Brandye, why cant/wont woman just enjoy an orgasm as much as we do. Im sure theres a conspiracey going on between all the woman all over the world against us men.....[/QUOTE]

I couldn't understand why women faked orgasms until I was put to the test. My boyfriend's only ever brought me to orgasm twice in our year together. The one time I wanted to fake it just to make him feel like he'd accomplished what he is always so eager and desperate to do.

I've always promised him I'd never fake it, he's not gong to learn how to do it right if I pretend that what he's doing wrong works.