Just what is 'chemistry'?

[EvilEvilKitten]

Well, some of us live by nature's plan.

Be that as it may, you cannot consider chemistry as merely a function of appearance/'beauty'.

No matter how stunningly 'beautiful' a male may be, young or old, if his immune system is incompatible with yours, he will reek despite all attempts to cover it up with cologne, roses and hot showers. One sweaty interlude between the sheets, or at the gym, or game of volleyball puts an end to all subterfuge.





I have found errors in Discovery Channel programs before, big. Just sayin'.

[RichardJohnson]

I can tell you, for as long as ive lived, ive never had an issue with my immune system. Get a cold, i kick it in a few days. havent had the flu in YEARS....and ive never had a flu shot. so my pheromones/genes/immune system is pretty good. so thus it must smell nice. so does my sperm.

but still, regardless of if they smell nice, etc., if yo ugly, its not going to matter how u smell, u aint getting any sex.....unless u got money....

[Brandye]

You do not quite get it. Evil has laid out the scientific case for sexual attraction. Quite well, as she usually does. Thousands of generations of adaptation has led us to the point of biologically signalling one another. Some of us have been programmed to respond to some of those signals and not to others. We women have the Glands of Bartholin but, in the modern era, sniffing our bottoms is frowned upon - at least in public. So we try to adapt with other smells and gestures. Might work initially but it is not lasting because the "chemistry is not there."

There is a natural selection. For one specific person? No, but for some grouping of persons who might be considered special - the chemistry. This applies more broadly than just the biological - the intellectual, the emotional. "Chemistry" is the whole package.

[mikkiji]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

It has nothing to do with 'a spiritual connection' (gag)

Oh, EEK, you can be counted on to be SO cynical...! I do believe that I understand this vague subtle concept known as 'chemistry'. I do believe it IS pretty much just that, the combination of chemicals which causes us to desire another person, to crave their companionship and affection, to want to do things for them, to want to share a life with them, make and raise babies with them, protect, encourage and love them. But don't discount those even subtler things that can't be so easily identified and quantified, such as spiritual compatibility. My late wife and I had a VERY slow ignition from initial acquaintanceship to chemical intoxication and our subsequent lifelong commitment, a bit over five years. Of course, 15 year-olds are in no position to recognize or understand any of this, it's all merely crushes, fantasies and obsessions for the most part. But by the time we were 21 and had a bit of experience dealing with the opposite sex, we were slowly able to see one another in a very different way. We'd been great friends, confidants, somewhat as the OP describes, for a long time. I was actually friends with a few of her previous lovers, but mostly I was there for her for those five years as a friend--I'd help her move to a new apartment, I'd let her sleep over if she got too drunk to drive home, stuff that any friend would do for their buddy. We ignited the sparks that led us to finally 'sniff each others chemicals', as it were, exactly through a deepening spiritual connection. Okay we were college juniors, 20 years old, but as we began to talk, as kids that age often will, about the meaning of life and what we are here for and why and does god exist and if so what does (s)he have to do with me, and... etc--you get the tenor of those endless rapping-till-dawn sessions--as we went down that road together we discovered something very significant about ourselves and one another--that we needed one another to deal with these important issues. "You" and "me" became "Us" because of our endless spiritual discussions--we arrived at a working worldview together, which culminated in our realization/acceptance of the fact that our purpose in life was to love, and OH!, it seemed we loved one another. It was less physical, and more spiritual and intellectual. I suppose, EEK, that you also reject the concept of "soulmates", but for us, faith became a centerpiece of our life together, the search for god was what we saw as our purpose. It remained that way throughout our 35 years together. It had nothing to do with religion--we rejected that--but it was a personal spiritual journey we undertook together.

I can hear you gagging a chorus by now, but leave that door open just a crack. I'm not talking here about some idea of god as some old white man with a long beard living up in the clouds. God is the force which sparks our creativity, which motivates us to achieve, which causes us to fight for our children's well-being and which breathes life into our love. God IS Love. God is Mother Earth. Now THAT is chemistry, if you ask me!
Michael

[g-dubz]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

It has nothing to do with 'a spiritual connection' (gag)

Here's a bucket for you lol

[EvilEvilKitten]

Yes, I am cynical.

But - What do you suppose I meant when I said "a meeting of the minds" I wonder? That's really what 'a deep spiritual connection' actually is - two or more people who think alike and share the same concepts, goals, hopes, dreams and so forth. All of these are products of one's mind, though we like to call it something else, because it is in your brain that 'you' reside.

I find that fascinating enough so I don't talk about 'a deep spiritual connection' or 'soulmates' nor do I want 'two to become one'. I want two agreeing as adults to work together as one - because if he's just like me, that would get rather boring. If he remains his own man, I can remain fascinated and intrigued by him.

"You must tell me everything about yourself, in every detail, only slowly, very slowly, so it takes a very, very long time."


Yo, Johnson, you're still not getting it. COMPATIBLE with HERS is the point, not whether you get sick easily or not and SHE JUDGES that SUBCONCIOUSLY by smell. And, no, you can't judge your own pheronomes because you can't smell them since you're habituated. Didn't you study ANY science?

[llovell]

Maybe it's difficult for some people to put themselves in another's shoes and understand how different factors affect attraction.

To say "they might smell good but they weren't that hot" is to apply your OWN standards of attraction, something that not everybody shares.

Personally scent is a big factor for me. I knew what my boyfreind looked like before I met him face to face and I thought he was okay-looking but I didn't fancy him. Meet him? Libido switch activate! What's different? I can smell him. I actually think he looks better now than I did before I could smell him. Other factors of attraction have affected my perception of him as a whole.

It doesn't matter if you don't find scent hot, you're not trying to date yourself.