whens the right time...

lucky90 · #1 (**permalink**) 12-25-2011, 02:10 PM

alright im 16 male and my girlfriend ad i just started dating a month ago!! heres my question i would like some help so please respond back... okay so my girlfriend and i just started dating a month ago and shes really shy all we do is cuddle and hold hands... but i wanna do stuff with her but i dont wanna rush her into doin things real fast.. so when should i like try an do stuff with her???? i just dont want her to feel like im pushing her into doing stuff!!! so please help me!!!!!! thanks

big916 · #2 (**permalink**) 12-25-2011, 06:36 PM

Just start with making out since you said you havent done that yet. Do regular lip kisses then do french kissing. From there try and talk about what you want to try with her. Slowly progress to penetrative sex and ask about body massage and mutual masturbation. From there go to oral sex and then regular sex. Always talk first about what both of you want to do. Have fun!

Thecalliton · #3 (**permalink**) 12-25-2011, 06:46 PM

lung+vocal cords+lips+coherence+courage=communication
prettery sure you have all of those, therefore you have everything you need to talk to her about not only your desires, but hers as well. It may sound a little cliche, but women do kinda have the power when it comes to sex. AS IT SHOULD BE, i may be a man, bu ti know that women have more delicate and amazing parts.

dancingdoc2 · #4 (**permalink**) 12-25-2011, 08:04 PM

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you will enjoy participating. Our charter is to help "pay it forward" to those coming up thru the ranks hoping to make life easier and better than for those of us who have gone before. In addition to the forums and information available off the Home Page, we have tremendous resources that you can search (using two search engines), plus the many helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles listed in the Index found at the top of the main screen and mentioned when you registered.

I recommend reading the articles listed under the heading of "Suggestions for Dating". Continue reading: "A couples guide to making out".

These will provide plenty of information from which to begin. I recommend that the two of you read all of the articles, discuss what you have learned, and add the information to what each of you already knows.

Your girlfriend may be shy and timid, however, you have to understand that how far the two of you go and how soon is a matter of comfort and trust. A month is often way too soon to do more than what you have been doing, so slow down, smell the roses, and learn how to work up to more and more complex things over time and after a couple of more months have passed. Read the article that discusses boundaries and Implied Consent. All of these will give you insight into all of this.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

llovell · #5 (**permalink**) 01-03-2012, 02:31 AM

I would expect a month to be too soon.

It DOES kind of sound like you just want pressure her to "do stuff" with you, otherwise you'd be a little more content with your relationship as it stands.

Slow down, and focus on getting to know her and enjoying the way your relationship is right now.

What you can do is talk to her. Open a serious discussion about her feelings about sex in relationships, sex before marriage, et cetera. Then once she has set her boundaries, respect them. In a sense, WE can't tell you when the right time is; only your girlfreind can. She's very young and probably not very worldly so it's possible she'll want to wait quite a while longer.

But you get to give your opinion to her, too. Let her know that you are interested in starting to experiment with more intimate activities. See what she says. She may surprise you.

When you want to kiss her, ask her "may I kiss you?" When you are making out, if you aren't sure if you should put your hands someplace, just ask her.

g-dubz · #6 (**permalink**) 01-03-2012, 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lucky90

alright im 16 male and my girlfriend ad i just started dating a month ago!! heres my question i would like some help so please respond back... okay so my girlfriend and i just started dating a month ago and shes really shy all we do is cuddle and hold hands... but i wanna do stuff with her but i dont wanna rush her into doin things real fast.. so when should i like try an do stuff with her???? i just dont want her to feel like im pushing her into doing stuff!!! so please help me!!!!!! thanks

When desire overcomes fear. That's the time to have sex.