What's "too soon" to ask someone out

[Ducy]

So I met a girl about 2 weeks ago. I was lifting with a buddy of mine and we noticed a gil who was kicking butt in the gym. I went over to her and we chatted for a bit and went our seperate ways.

Anyways, she came back in to work out this past Friday and we got to talking. She was telling me about some issues she had with certain exercises, so I happened to mention that I was a certified trainer and would love to help her out (smooth I know ). Anyways, we traded numbers and I went back to cleaning the gym.

So we met up Sunday and worked out for a bit then played some basketball. I thinks she's got an awesome personality, we have a good amount in common and to be qute honest I am smitten by her lol. We have talked a good deal since I got her number, and I want to take her on a date, I just am not sure what's considered "too soon" in terms of asking someone out. I mean would it be weird to randomly ask her after only knowing each other for roughly 5 days? Or should I wait a while longer?

[dlb]

Ducy. Strike while the iron is hot! You already "met up Sunday and worked out for a bit then played some basketball." That qualifies as a date! But, you mean going to dinner, a show, a movie; or that sort of date. You have her number dude. It's rather obvious that she wants you to call her and ask her out to something besides a workout session. Don't waste anymore time on this or someone may beat you out. You have absolutely nothing to loose.

[Firmus]

I'd agree to that. Also, waiting too long runs the risk of you being put in the "friend" box instead of the "love interest" box. Even if she says no, there's no reason you still can't be friends or even gym buddies.

[Ducy]

You know its amazing, I can easily ask a girl if she's down to have sex, but I can't seem to ask a girl out. What is wrong with me? Lol

[dlb]

Ducy are you concerned about your behavior in public; how it might be viewed by your date or others? Are you concerned about what people might say about you if they see you out with someone. Just take the plunge. Always go out with nerds. They really are the best.

[Ducy]

No I'm not worried what others think. I think hands down she is gorgeous and don't care if someone else doesn't like her. And the fact that she's a "nerd" is even better. I'm a nerd too lol. I'm just. Idk haha. Fear of rejection?

No that couldn't be it since I have asked plenty of girls if they want to fool around and such.

I think perhaps its just foolishness on my part. I mean I don't want to come off as crazy by just randomly asking a girl out. Heck I was totally smitten when I first saw her (over 4 months ago) and I never even said a word to her. Now that I've actually talked to her its like WOW...my buddy even ran into the locker room to tell me when she came into the gym Friday (day I got her number) because he knew I was absolutely floored by her.

[NagyApu]

You are way over thinking this. If the thought of something like dinner and a movie seems like too big a start, then try lunch ("I found this great deli.") or a sporting event like a local college team.

[dlb]

I refer you back to my first response I can think of a few cases in my prematrimonial past when I waited around and once I finally got around to calling someone up I would get a response like -"I was waiting for you to call and you never did. Now I am back with my boyfriend/dating someone already/decided you didn't like me/am going to Africa on a humanitarian mission....

It's normal to fear rejection. From what you say there's no way this girl is going to turn you down. If you don't call her give me her number and I will!

[Firmus]

There's an easy explanation why you feel that way Ducy. If a girl turns down a sex request, it means she doesn't want sex. If she turns down a date it means she doesn't want YOU.

I'm saying that as your inner dialogue by the way.

Obviously when it's written out like that you can see that both of those have a myriad of reasons to be true or false. But none the less when someone rejects you, you're thinking there's something "wrong" now, but that's not always the case.

But yeah, just take the plunge. Be all sweaty hands and red faced and just ask her out.

[dancingdoc2]

Interesting--you can invite a girl to see you nude yet you find it intimidating to ask her out to watch you provide her a good time with dinner, movie, walk in the park, or some other activities.

Direct sales people: insurance salesmen, car salesmen, direct telephone sales solicitors, etc., et cetera, etc., all make cold canvas calls with one thing in mind--getting a "yes" yet knowing that they will be rejected time and time again before getting someone to bite.

If you are self assured, confident, have something to offer a girl, have a pleasant personality, can listen, can talk, can smile, have a sense of humor, then what is holding you back do you think? So someone turns you down, please do not take it as a personal rejection or put down or affront to your standing as a "man", not so my friend. Rejections can mean several things: first, that she is involved, she is not dating at the present time, or, that she does not see you as a match. Whatever the reason, if you are rejected, simply move on to the next "customer" as it were.

What if you do not ask her or someone else out? Now what? Nothing ventured, nothing gained, as the saying goes. So, buck up and take a chance, and a chance after that and on and on.

I agree with the others, time's a wasting for the reasons stated. Go for it, Ducy, you do not have anything to lose except for the possibility of being successful and everything to gain. What's not to gain? Explore the possibilities.

-doc