Interesting Perdicament

[Wrave]

This would not be the first time I have been in a weird situation in regards to relationships but this one has an interesting story behind it.

I had a female friend that I will nickname K for the sake of confideniality. Her and I were good friends until her parents, who were going through a nasty divorce, put this friend up for adoption.

I found out about it the summer after I moved to my current state.
I have not seen or heard from her in 13 years. I could not stop wondering if I would ever see or hear from K again.

About 9 months ago, I recently got back in touch with my dad who I had not heard from in 6 years. I learn that he is in prison until the middle of this decade. He tells me that he is engaged. I didn't make anything of it until he told me who it was.

Yep you guessed it, it is K's mother.

Allow me to say that even at the tender age of 7 I was interested in girls so consider this girl my first one.

Call it whatever you will but I thought it was love. Even the people at the place where my grandparents, dad and uncle worked at thought it was a meant to be situation.

Everyone has thought of at least once of dating their childhood friend.

Long story short, she is going to be my step-sister and I am unsure of what to do. I am also expecting a letter or Facebook invite at any time from her.

Should I let the cards fall where they may or should I back off.

NOTE: I am unsure what her relationship status is at this time and am assuming she is single.

[lnt1103]

I hope this doesn't sound judgmental, it's not how I intend it.

There are a couple of dots I'm having trouble connecting. K's parents put her up for adoption when they divorced. But now that your dad is engaged to K's mother, K comes back into the picture?

I guess I don't see why she comes into play if she was adopted out.

[Wrave]

K's mother must have gotten back in touch with her or the other way around. I have no idea. K is over 18 so no longer abides by the closed adoption rules.

All I know is that K's mom is back in touch with her and I finally reunite with an old friend but want to know whether to treat her as a sister or see if I can rekindle something.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Weeping with frustration - OMG!!!!

Look at your family and all of this history and still you have to ask "should I or shouldn't I"?? The answer is NO, leave the girl alone.


RUN and go build a live somewhere else!

[big916]

well i think this is a little different than a previous situation involving step siblings. i'm guessing that you two won't be living together. it is important not to involve yourself with people inside your home. first reconnect with K however so, fb, email, in person and find out if she is in a relationship along with every other detail. you haven't seen each other in years so it shouldn't raise questions since there is so much to catch up on.

do not get ahead of yourself and get to know each other again because she is not the same person at all, no one is after 13 years. you have been holding onto this crush for a long time and she may not even be your type. i don't hold much faith in prison relationships made behind bars so this may be a non issue in the future. once more don't rush things and get to know her as a friend again first before.

[Wrave]

She live is California so no we will not be living in the same house.

EEK, I have step-cousins who I have known since I could talk that I have crushes on, however they like black guys and have 3 kids between them and one just turned 21.

My belief is if you ain't related by blood, fair game.

[EvilEvilKitten]

The point remains whether you see it or not although you should after witnessing your step-cousins. "All for love and the world well lost" does't result in a happy life any more than "meant to be". They are both delusions people fall into.

Really, all you're doing is asking us for permission to try and 'capitalize' on the fact that you and K used to be friends. It has been 13 years so I have to ask, why haven't you 'moved on' yet?

[Wrave]

EEK, I ask myself that frequently and it could be because it was so sudden and I was close to her.

[EvilEvilKitten]

You WERE close but NOT that close.
Sounds more like the 'fish that got away' to me.