How to start an affair with a co-worker

[cflknr83]

just wanted a few opinions on how to start a relationship with a co-worker. got a very sexy secretary that is married but is very touchy/feely.

[Ducy]

In the words of nike...

Just do it!

[cflknr83]

yea wish it was that easy! really need a woman's point of view on it

[RedRoses]

There are two very red flags here;

1) Sounds like she's not an equal coworker, you're her superior, is that right?
2) She's married!!!

So; you have to take at least two meassures;
1) switch company or downgrade within this company to a position equal to hers.
2) go have a talk with her husband and her.
Both have to be taken, if not; you're in a definite no-go-zone.

Why?
Because in a superior position there are conflicting needs at stake here! Not only should you know your own ethics not to put her in the position of; "perhaps I'll lose my job if I don't". I mean seriously, unless you really want to get some very disrespecting names not appropriate to spell out here, you DON'T!!! And; you should be concerned of your own job. She could rather easily drag you to your superiors or even court for you being sexually harassing at the first move you make.

And I think I don't need to explain about marriage, do I? Some couples may be open-minded, but you should be 100% sure of that.

If you're in an equal position, you should at least take her being married (!) into account. And do be aware not all companies tolerate (sexual) relationships at work. Personally; I'm not against relationships at work, as long as it's a clean situation and sorry to say, but the situation in this thread has something fishy about it all...

[cflknr83]

well she's a secretary in my office but under a different department than i am. she brings me papers and documents to sign for her boss. everyone knows her husband and honestly whether i had any intentions with this woman or not could tell you that he is a total a$$. from all indications she is not happy, having left him time after time. her girlfriends say that the only reason she stays with him is that she doesn't think she has anywhere else to go. she's not from this area.

[pcp71]

not that I condone it, but since you've already made contact and chit chat then next easiest step is to do something simple, bring in donuts for the office, but make a point to ask her if she has a specific preference. If she goes for that then ask her to have lunch with you and let it go from there.

[Ducy]

Ok I kept my answer short to avoid any sort of long winded advice but since your new post.

Just because her husband is an ass doesn't condone your actions. You are potentially ruining a marraige. But since you wanna start an affair with her there's really no need to pussyfoot around. You already said she is very touchy feely. Her girlfriend said she doesn't leave because she has no where else. I mean you have the "green lights for an affari so just go for it. Whether you want a relationship or just sex, the ways of approach would be the same as if she was dating. You just don't let her husband catch you

[big916]

You say she has left him many times, so where has she gone when leaving him? Why can't she tell him it is over, leave for a final time and date you/just have sex? There is no need in my opinion to do anything behind someone's back.

[cflknr83]

so one of her girlfriends tells me that she stayed at her house last night because they got into it again. is this the time to make my move?

[cflknr83]

anyone have any answers for me?