Falling in love with a roommate/sexfreind

[Atlatrozius]

Well I have 2 roommates and I have become friends with benefits with them after living together after a while. (sex friends) Anyways it's kinda weird how this happen but now after a while I'm starting to like one of them a lot. I'm worried that she might not want a relationship and that it could damage our relationship as a roommates and friends. I'm worried that everything would fall apart and become awkward living together since I doubt everything can go back to the ways they were before and even if it could it might not be for the best. I'm thinking that if she isn't interested in a serious relationship that I might have to just move out as well.

What do you suggest?

[EvilEvilKitten]

Perhaps I have misunderstood your post but did you say you were having sex with BOTH of your roommates?

In which case, I'd say keep your mouth shut because no matter what you say - this is going to become horrible if you say anything to either of them.

Now they can share - but once you've said "I'm serious" about one of them then they might compete. Look at it this way - how would you feel if a girl who's been enjoying you and your buddy picks your buddy over you? Hmmm? Feeling a bit 'inadequate' perhaps?

NOT a good scene for "getting serious". So DON'T 'get serious'.

[Atlatrozius]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Perhaps I have misunderstood your post but did you say you were having sex with BOTH of your roommates?

In which case, I'd say keep your mouth shut because no matter what you say - this is going to become horrible if you say anything to either of them.

Now they can share - but once you've said "I'm serious" about one of them then they might compete. Look at it this way - how would you feel if a girl who's been enjoying you and your buddy picks your buddy over you? Hmmm? Feeling a bit 'inadequate' perhaps?

NOT a good scene for "getting serious". So DON'T 'get serious'.

So do you think it would be best to try to get over these feelings and continue this 3-way relationship? I understand how this can go really wrong if I start opening my mouth and I don't want anybody's feelings being hurt since we've had this arrangement for a couple years now. I've really put myself in a dumb situation wanting to get serious from this sort of situation. I guess I kinda feel bad about continuing having sex with both of them when I'm starting to want more in a relationship. Do you think it might be a good idea to consider moving out in the future and then pursuing the relationship down the line? I guess if we all want to be friends that might not be possible.

Geez I certainly need to do a lot of thinking here.

[big916]

once you have decided that you want a relationship with any woman you will have to move out. of course the scenario about picking one of the girls will cause problems like EEK said. i also believe even having a steady gf visit your place will cause friction when either of those girls are there. if you really care about both their feelings as friends then don't mention getting serious. and move out when you want a relationship with anyone. this living situation seems to be an anti monogamous environment since you are having sex with them. i can't say from experience that you should pursue the girl after moving out, but i think it would also cause problems between friends.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Actually, yes, he is in a anti-monogamous situation - not that that's bad if that's what is desired.

But if he's moving into a monogamous 'serious' mode - seeking a wife - then he's going to have to move out and create a life and a home into which he can invite a wife.