Really, Is it all about sex?

[mashamaniac]

Hi there,

Well quite new to this forum... Just my first thread to ask a question that's very long been on my mind

As a boy I'm not emotional at all, I don't fall in love with girls that easily and only twice before in my 21 year old life so far (Though unsuccessful). But when I really fall in love with a girl, Sex is the last thing I want to think about her...It's more of an eye-to eye and more emotional connection.

Just wanted to know how do other people reflect on that? Say when you've fallen in love with your opposite gender, Do you still badly want to have sex with them or is there a more emotional feeling towards him/her?

Thanks in advance...
MM

[mashamaniac]

Hope some of U will reply today...

[EvilEvilKitten]

Well, think about it. WHY are you even interested in this girl or that girl? For her mind, her employment prospects, her opinion of the price of eggs in China? Most likely...nope. She sends that thrill along your spine and you call it "love" because of your need for an emotional connection - despite your protestations otherwise. Yep - that's sex.

Because you don't feel anything like it with the guys, now do you?

No matter how culture tries to cover sex up/glamorize/prettify the procreative urge, in most humans, Nature wins.

Yes - it is all about sex.

[dancingdoc2]

I most definitely agree with EEK's statement. To expand on what she said, you have to have an emotional connection with the other person in order for the sex to be truly enjoyable and not just sex for sex sake.

When participating in sex when it is not just for the sake of sex, I have often remarked that the act of making out and finishing with orgasms for each is the outward expression of the love two people have for each other. This being the case, a mutual admiration and emotional component are required. Yes?

[RedRoses]

Dear mashamaniac,

Just a thought: perhaps your desire for love simply exceeds the desire for sex? You wouldn't want to risk losing that love and put every other desire aside. Perhaps you even view sex as a menace to it. In society a lot of people have learned morals about that sex is bad/wrong/dirty/etc that tend to stick somewhere deep inside our brains. It could be you even consider it bad if you desire sex from a girl you care about so much; as if you'd do wrong to her.

From my perspective; it actually worked the other way around (and that's really personal and far from general perspective); With a special touch my then-friend intended to show me he had fallen in love with me. And I could feel that through his fingers shooting up my spine. It was the mix of emotion and pleasurable touch from which my sexual desire for him was born. Unintended and unexpected. It was actually a revelation to me that touch can be so sweet If he had touched me without that loving feeling or had primarily shared his feelings through words instead of touch, there's quite a chance it wouldn't have worked...

[EvilEvilKitten]

Sex as 'play' and sex as an expression of affection - remains SEX. Only our culture(s) tell us that sex is bad/romantic/dirty/loving/etc/etc.

Sex is like gravity - a 'given'.

Stop fighting it.

[Ducy]

Yes

/thread


Move along people nothing to see here

[Newtolove]

yep, same here. While i may have strong sexual feelings for a beautiful girl I'm not interested in romantically, when I think of the one i do fancy sex is no longer so paramount.

[pcp71]

sex is a funny thing

if you want it and are getting it, that's a good thing and you're happy
if you don't want it and aren't having it, then it's not an issue
if you're getting it but not necessarily craving it, it's a bonus and good thing
if you want it but aren't getting any, it can become a big issue to you

[dlb]

It's not all about sex, but sex is a big part of it. If you are 21 and have fallen in love twice then you have probably been in love more times than most 21 year olds. Opinion of a soon to be 50 father of a twenty-one year old and professor of many more twenty-one year olds who also rememberes being that age.