What gives?

[tataa]

So I've talked to this guy on and off for awhile. We've been on like two dates but I came to realize that I'm not physically attracted to him. I never really got a chance to know him and every time I tried to take the time to he was working 12 hour shifts. However he's still on aim so I invited him to this birthday event I was having at a club and I asked him would he mind driving me home afterwards. To make a long story short the event was a total failure and all I wanted to do was go home. He dropped his friend off first and then said he would drop me off. Then he suggest we grab a bite to eat at his house. So I said fine because ( I always carry protection on me) so if something were to happen I would defend myself. He gave me some food his mom cooked then he took off his shoes. I didn't want to eat and run so I stayed a bit. He tried to pull me on his bed to 'cuddle' and suggested that he wasn't trying to do anything. I told him no I don't like cuddling. And he asked me why I'm scared of him? Which I wasn't I'm just no attracted to him then he try to kiss me in the mouth and I turned away and he tried again and I pushed him off. I told him to take me home and he tried to pull me on the bed again. That turned me off a little more. I feel like the fact that I ask him for a ride home he thinks it compensated for a kiss and 'cuddling'. First off it would take more than that for me to kiss him secondly I feel like the bond between us wouldn't go further than friends...I honestly don't know the best way of telling him this without hurting his feelings.

[Ducy]

You tell him that you don't like him that way and you would rather be friends. Nothing more and nothing less.

He will probably complain and be a jerk to you so be prepared. Also he sounds like a moron to begin with. If a girl didn't want to cuddle why on earth would he think you would kiss him?

[pcp71]

sounds like he might have been a bit desperate for a date and possibly a potentially controlling person.

you don't have to completely spare his feelings, just wait for him to call and then tell him , it just isn't going to work out that you don't feel any connection or spark with him and leave it at that.

[tataa]

Originally Posted by Ducy

You tell him that you don't like him that way and you would rather be friends. Nothing more and nothing less.

He will probably complain and be a jerk to you so be prepared. Also he sounds like a moron to begin with. If a girl didn't want to cuddle why on earth would he think you would kiss him?

My point exactly and I shoved him away. It was so weird. Ugh.

[tataa]

Originally Posted by pcp71

sounds like he might have been a bit desperate for a date and possibly a potentially controlling person.

you don't have to completely spare his feelings, just wait for him to call and then tell him , it just isn't going to work out that you don't feel any connection or spark with him and leave it at that.

I feel he is desperate at times and showing that your desperate is a complete turn off.

[lnt1103]

Receiving the invite made him think he had a shot. He thinks he's getting mixed signals, so you need to lay your cards on the table for him.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Just stop worrying about his feelings and TELL him you do NOT find him sexually attractive as in there's No Chemistry. The way you were acting, he thought you were just being coy and playing 'hard to get'.

But on to more important matters:

Now then - why was your b'day bash unsuccessful?

[tataa]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Just stop worrying about his feelings and TELL him you do NOT find him sexually attractive as in there's No Chemistry. The way you were acting, he thought you were just being coy and playing 'hard to get'.

But on to more important matters:

Now then - why was your b'day bash unsuccessful?

I went to see some male strippers for the first time in my life. All of them were pretty attractive but were a complete turn off to me. Wasn't what I expected at all. Afterwards my friend and her friends planned to go to another club. My friends were suppose to show up to that club as well but, none of them did (besides that guy). So all my friend's friends showed up and they were all Latino descent. So the whole time we were at the part of the club where they only played Latino music. I'm open to all types of music. But when it's just one genre of music in the club I find it hard to enjoy myself. The birthday bash was for my friend, her sister, her cousin and me. Overall I didn't enjoy myself and all I wanted to do was go home. My friend was crying, her sister was drunk...it was just a disaster and it showed me how much my friends appreciated me.

[Qplezsthawife]

best thing is to keep your distance away from the guy......you got lucky that this dude didn't get really physical with you even if you did have "protection"

that talk talk talk is for the birds.....cut that guy loose and go your separate way

[Ducy]

How is telling him she isn't interested is for the birds? It keeps him from pursuing her and also handles it quickly and effectively so that any "rumors" he tries to spread can be thwarted. She ignores him she becomes a "slut" and a "b*tch". If she ignores him, he can easily continue to text and try to contact her and can use the excuse that he "didn't know". If she just says. "I don't like you like that." There is no excuse for him to continue making passes and trying things. A lot of men don't know how to take a hint and must be talked to.