online dating?

[swiftychick]

Ok guys ands. Girls would you ever try online. Dating?

Why or why not?
Do you have any success stories or dating nightmares
From online dating?
Would love to hear some! Thank you

[dancingdoc2]

Nearly all of the comments on this site from people who have done this are that they have been in communication with people several hours and many miles apart. My replies have always been of what benefit is this if you are trying to establish a relationship?

Years ago (back in the day??) I did what was the equivalent and still in vogue in some places--answering personal ads in the newspaper. Ads are still placed in many cities. If people want "to reach out and touch someone", why not be practical and realistic about the effort by only contacting people within an hour's distance or about 60 miles?

Dating people in the blind whether by newspaper or internet dating services is chancy at best. Like all blind dates, they may or may not go further than the initial introduction. Now, having said that, what about finding someone on the net? Well, people write back and forth and paint as pretty a picture as they can regarding their personality and interests. The trouble is, they providing true and accurate information. Is the attached photo really them?

Initial relationships are formed from the information subsequently exchanged. Very often what we witness next are the lust and hopeful outcomes that come from the exchange of information, true--or, not.

Regardless, if a meeting does happen with a person several hours and many miles apart, very often their real persona is not quite like what they have projected in their E-mails. It's the true first date slightly delayed.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Please note:

if you're Male - almost all of the ads you will see and replies you will get will be from "professionals". If she's too good to be true - she most likely is a pro.

if you're female - almost every male online will be chasing you 'just in case' but don't let it go to your head.

You will find all types of people online and it is amazing what people will write and what pictures they choose to include.

My advice is to NOT spend endless hours exchanging emails etc because the only way to really know if he/she is "UGH!" is to meet them in person, during the day, in a crowded public place with many eyes like a restaurant or cafe where they're watchign to make sure someone pays.

But this means being able to say NO and make it 'stick'.

[lnt1103]

DD2 and EEK both offer some very good advice to those inexperienced with online dating.

And then there's me. And they probably cringe LOL

Cuz mine worked. We're getting married in 9 days. We lived 180 miles apart when we "met" at an online dating website's chat room. We chatted, emailed and talked via phone for 5 months before meeting face to face. We had two dates, two weeks apart, that consisted of lunch, movie then dinner. Date #3 and #4, he met my parents. Dates #1-#4 happened in my hometown. Date #5, I did the traveling and met his parents. Those dates were Fall of 2007.

I saw a statistic at the Washington Post the other day that quoted a 2007 study---17% of marriages in the previous 3 years had started online. So yes, it CAN work.

However. Be. Careful. Pay strict attention to warning signs and red flags, and run for the hills if you see them. T was far from the first person I chatted/emailed/talked on the phone with. There were some "real pieces" to be sure. I won't go into my typical diatribe about all the background checks I did. Search for my posts and you'll find it.

Neither of us like the club scene, and we both had crazy schedules at the time we met anyway, so traditional dating were not options for either of us. Online worked. For us. It doesn't always, or for everyone. With care and safety precautions, you get out of it what you choose to. If you want to find a FWB, you will. If you want to find a casual dating situation, you will. If you want a life partner, it's more than possible.

[Barely18Guy]

Well my current story is bound to have different opinions attached to, but here goes.

I found a site called omegle in late october. I've been chating once in a while there when bored, meeting almost only horny guys, but girls and even some guys can be good chats, once in a while.

I met that girl, named Sara, in early november. It was a lucky meeting, since it was 2 am here, was still discovering the fun of omegle... and it was 7 am for her, she lives in england, and she was about to go outside to profit of the snow. Se spoke for three hours, before she left, and gave me her e-mail adress.

We spoke for at least five hours a day, I had my blackberry at that time, and was on MSN on it from 12 am to 5 pm, everyday, which is from 5 to 10 for her. We spent even from six to eight hours in the weekends...

At first, it was friendly chit chat, we discovered we had many things in common, we are atheists and love making fun of those that are not (I respect them, just like joking sometime), we both love every kind of music possible, as long as it's written well... we became good friends fast.

Then, one day, she trusted me enough to tell me her full name so I can add her on facebook, this would prove me at 80% that she really is who she pretends to be... turns out she is, she got a lot of friends, almost all form where she lives, she uploads pictures of her every once in a while...

By then, I fell in love with her. Her clever thoughts, how playful she likes to be, her prowesses in signing, I love everything about this girl. I started really loving her in mid-december.

It took me two weeks, but I got to tell her what I felt. She answered that she really likes me, but doesn't want tot ell me if she loves me or not before we meet, which is easily understandable.

I've been writing poems in French for her, she loves them, I keep telling her everyday how I love her, and we still keep talking about everything...

I am 18, just finished high school, started college but stopped after the first semester... I don't know what I want to do in my life, the only thing I'm sure is that I love her more than everyone I ever knew.

I'm seriously considering moving to England, perhaps to study there, so I can be closer from the one I love.

I didn't told her yet, she's in vacations for the whole week, but there's a big chance that she will not even want me to come over, becaues she cares too much to let me do something so foolish.

She also is 15 years old, will hit 16 on april the 30th. I wouldn't come before the summer anyway, I have to work and save money... I guess that her parents won't want me to live with them, I'm just a stranger, and they won't want me to be her boyfriend before she hits 18, so I will just get myself an appartment in England and start my life here as an adult.

I love her so much, I'd do everything, just to see her as a friend...

Edit:
But if I go sooner, it will be to study there, I'll have things planned by then, I'll have to get a study permit. I'm not just going here and hoping for the best, but I'll first have to know what I'l willing to study into.

[lnt1103]

Barely, what happened to your fuck buddy 7 hours away? Just a few days ago you were wanting to figure out how to make a fuck buddy situation work with someone a 7 hour drive away, and now suddenly you think you're ready to move overseas to fall in love with someone still in high school who you've never even met IRL.

My point: slow down. A ton. If you're flipping between girls this fast over the computer, it's very likely you'll flip away from England girl just as fast if you move out there and try to have a real relationship. And what then?

You're only 18. Figure out who you are and what you want. Save the traveling to the one you love until you're certain she's The One.

[Barely18Guy]

Actually, that girl 7 hours away isn't even a crush, it would only be a fuck buddy. Sara knows that I don't intend on being single for the whole time I'll be here, because I was supposed to pay her a visit only next year.

Recent events in my life made me realize I wanted to see her faster.

I'm still thinking stuff out, I'll first go on a trip for two weeks this summer to get to know her, and then I'll see what I'm doing. Studying in England, given I can get the passport and autorisation from the government, is still very viable, and wouldn't put my future in peril.

So I'm not that messed up in my head, Sara's a true love, not only a crush.

[EvilEvilKitten]

STOP!

Your first job is to get yourself through college and then to build a fulfilling individual life for yourself. Not chasing after jailbait like some screwed up high school kid.

The facts are you do not know what you want and are floundering around like some lost soul latching onto whatever seems good at this moment saying "Help me!".

Are you willing to spend the rest of your life like this? If not, then get your butt in gear, grow a set, and get on with your life because the guy next to you certainly isn't going to waste any pity on you and face it - you're not offering a whole hella lot to any girl right at this moment.

Yeah, I'm raining on your parade but someone has to point out the realities to you.

[lnt1103]

In addition to EEK's points above, you've also chosen to completely miss my point.

How does a person bounce from wanting a fuck buddy, to moving overseas to the supposed love of their lives, almost overnight?

Oh and by the way, having a fuck buddy does not equal not being single.

You're hormonal, but you have zero clue what you actually want. You're so confused, you don't know how confused you are. Stop trying so hard to get some, and work on YOU. The rest will follow.

[Barely18Guy]

Alright I guess I wrote that a bit fast, I won't just get over to England and say "Hi, I moved here". I'll just go there for a week or two for the summer vacations. Then I'll see. I'm willing to believe that it's hormonal stuff so I'll wait... I feel serious about that but my behavior's not the one of somebody with his whole head on his shoulders...