Dating: should i or should i not (ask)?

[tank5617]

ok im met a girl at school that i've known since freshman year.Anyways i have her in 2 of my classes and shes always talkn to me,touching my arm and obvious things im bout 90% sure she likes me. But she has a bf thats cheated on her MANY times. Dont get me wrong she extremely pretty i've had a crush on her since i was a freshman. But i dont know if i should even attempt i kinda dont wanna anyways but a part of me does.Give me some help wether i should ask her out or just be friends.

[Ducy]

Just be friends and wait for her to be single.

DO NOT be her cheating partner. Do not pull her away. You will cause more problems than you can handle

[dancingdoc2]

Ditto!

What he said. Wait. If/when she stops dating this individual, and, she has had some time to get over the relationship, then you can ask her out.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Oh dear- whyever not? Look, kids change their affiliations because its Tuesday so there's no "cheating" - yegods - you'd think you peeps were in your 80's and partying like its 1599 or something.

If you like her - go ask her.
If she says No, then back off
If she says Yes then go and hang out with her.
What's between her and her 'others' is their business, not yours.
When the desire overcomes the fear then you're ready to date, etc.

By doing your dating this way, you put the responsibility for HER relationships where it belongs - on HER. YOU are responsible only for what YOUR part in the relationship between you and her and not for anything between her and anyone else. You avoid "The Galahad Syndrome" and she avoids being "The Pampered Princess" and can't get away with playing "The Wounded Bird".

Definitions:

"the Galahad Syndrome" is what guys get when they try to save some girl/woman from a bad situation of any kind whether that situation is self-induced or not. The attempts are futile but the guys will ruin themselves nevertheless.

"the Pampered Princess" where the girl/woman thinks her butt is golden and you have to crawl, suck-up, and be her pet to get anywhere with her because "she's worth it".

"the Wounded Bird" awww the poor thing needs me to hold her hand. She needs a shoulder to cry on, someone to listen to her, someone to help her out, someone to "be there for her".

[RedRoses]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

"the Pampered Princess" where the girl/woman thinks her butt is golden and you have to crawl, suck-up, and be her pet to get anywhere with her because "she's worth it".

Just got me a great idea for carnival...

[EvilEvilKitten]

LOL
actually Dominatrix is far more effective than "Pampered Princess" because you get more fearless men bold enough to court a lady's 'danger'.

you remember

"Man up or Get out!"

[Ducy]

I once had a guy attack me after "stealing" his girlfriend. Beat the crap out of him because I took Muay Thai for several years. But still not everyone can fight and there are some crazies.

Why deal with a girl who is obviously confused and...well a girl?

[tank5617]

i just found out she broke up with him couple days ago. But i dont think im gunna anyways. She'd be a great friend to have we already are friends lol.

[tank5617]

also p.s. you dont have to criticise everything i say or make fun of it im asking a dam question.If you cant answer it without criticiseing me dont answer at all.

[Ducy]

Buddy this is a websit you ask for advice your going to get it. The criticism is not a bad thing. And nobody is making fun of you.

Don't as for our "damn" advice if your going to throw a fit. I will tell you exactly how it is. EEK...oh boy your gonna have to harden up a great deal cuz EEK is not a whip cream and sprinkles woman. She is a handcuff and whips woman...right EEK?

There is nothing wrong with dating someone. But at a young age people are hormonal and subject to bouts of teenage angst which turns into teenage fight each other because society places so many pressures on you that you snap.

Add that to the volatile mix of a man who is too insecure to stay faithful during a monogamous relationship then your probably looking at a man who fights and becomes violent and controlling druing bad moments.