cheating?

[truebloodgirl]

What do you consider cheating?
Is having a match.com profile just for friends cheating
After 4 and a half years of dating?

[Qplezsthawife]

if looking for confirmation for it being "ok" for you to do what you've been doing, then it's not........you're cheating....match.com is not a place to "meet" friends......try myspace or facebook

ask yourself what is wrong in your relationship.....otherwise, you wouldn't be asking this question

[truebloodgirl]

Ok well I hacked into my boyfriends account
I new he had one b4 we started dating he didn't give me the password or username
When I looked at the dates of the emails he had sent I was sick in the hospital so um yeah
What do yall think?

[dancingdoc2]

> What do you consider cheating?

The word "cheating" is not unlike the word "sex", both have specific definitions and more recently, generic meanings. For example, the word "sex" has come to mean in recent years everything people do from the first kiss to the last sigh; although, the word's specific meaning is synonymous with intercourse.

The word "cheating" has a specific criteria: you can only cheat if there is a written contract in place between you and another person, otherwise, a couple who have considered themselves a "couple" and have by their behavior decided not to date others, cannot technically cheat on the other if one of them does begin a relationship with someone else while another is in place.

I know, this is a word game hinging on semantics, however, the technicality is important.

A. What was your boyfriend's intent by using match.com?
B. Did he simply want to broaden his circle of friends?
C. Was he interested in finding one or more other people to date?
D. Other?

> Is having a match.com profile just for friends cheating after 4 and a half years of dating?

It depends upon the intent. Dating by its very nature should be a non-exclusive series of relationships in which people come and go as we search for Mr./Ms. Right. (If you are looking for that one in a million partner, you have to date a million people!) So, again, technically, no, seeing others is not cheating no matter how long the existing relationship.

Now, having said this, if a couple consider themselves "exclusive" and have had a long term relationship in place, then when one partner steps outside to date someone else without having a conversation about do so, is wrong.

"Match.com" is not a venue for developing and broadening friendships. Anyone looking is either bored and curious, or, looking for a possible replacement. Regardless, his/her actions are wrong, although, technically not illegal.

It sounds to me that the two of you need to sit down and talk to each other, learn what is really happening and why, then set limits or boundaries for is acceptable behavior.

[Shaggedherrotten]

I asked of my gf that if she wanted anything passionate out of me, or seriously taken, that the network accounts, phone, friends and other similars where to disapear, of course I doing the same.


I HAVE COME ACROSS 2 COUPLEs, THAT DID NOT USE IT/OR CONSIDERED USING IT AS A HIDDEN AGENDA, I am making reference to not any networking in particular, but by the means by which they are accessed, how people with different social status will make use of the options and methods of communication. This is from more than 100 I have meet and knew as personnal friends, more ppl joined the list as I meet them, I am sure there are quite a few couples quite happy using networking.

I took a nice long break from any or almost form of dating, I wanted something clear for myself, I always ended up committing to relations that were just not possible considering the differences of character I have, and like a fool, realized at some point I was alone in the commitment that was asked of me, and knew it all the long, but didnt wish to have to deal with the situation, and these stretched over months and a year.

Now we just have an account for the family and another for games,we are always together and dont let anyone to close, we have our privacy back, and nobody can come between us because we do have a year like this that we spent side by side, for ourselves for our real chance to be considered happy together.

[dancingdoc2]

> Now we just have an account for the family and another for games,we are always together and dont let anyone to close, we have our privacy back, and nobody can come between us because we do have a year like this that we spent side by side, for ourselves for our real chance to be considered happy together.

The way this is stated is that you fear someone coming between the two of you from outside. Whether true or not, my point is that most jealous partners fear and place blame upon the third party when in fact if someone is going to stray, it is this person that is or has the problem.

We read all the time about jealous and/or controlling partners who limit their wife's or girlfriend's access to the outside world fearing the worst--that she will find a friend or another man or.... What these men fail to understand is that if a person is going to stray there is nothing they can do about it--and! their rage is misplaced if they fear some 3rd party who just happens to be there.

By limiting access and not letting other people get too close, you are in fact saying you do not trust your partner. If she is otherwise true and faithful, then your problems are with your own insecurity and trust in her. There is no threat perceived or otherwise from the outside. Limiting a person's contact with the outside world is not going to prevent him/her from finding friends or lovers if this is what s/he ultimately wants. This is the simple logic that I do not understand why others do not get it.

Fix the problem within the relationship or yourself, do not prevent people within the relationship from having access to the world. We are not the problem.

[raunchy gal]

Truebloodgirl,isn't it a criminal offence to be hacking into your boyfriends account.Do you even live together?I would hate for any partner of mine to invade my privacy like that,although i wouldn't be going on any dating sites if i was seeing someone.

[Ducy]

It is a criminal offense to hack his account...depending on how she went about then it can have very bad consequences. If she guessed it then its more of a personal offense. If it was in any way editing or "cracking" the lines of code on the site or using a brute force program then its actually a sever crime

[EvilEvilKitten]

She hacked into his account.
He should dump her immediately!

She's only thinking about herself - her feelings, her fears, her needs and NOT his. She considers him her property and can justify her criminal actions because "he's her man".

She neither loves nor trusts him.

Dump her!

(yes this works both ways)

[Qplezsthawife]

i agree with EEK


both of you should fire yourself from the relationship, haha

but who knows, this could be a turning point in the relationship....sometimes it takes something of this nature to make things better......there will always be hardships in the relationship no matter who you are with......question is, are you willing to stay in the fight?