Unsure what to do!

[Aphrodite_66]

I didn't know if this should go in another thread or if i should write a new one but it's kind of complicated,so here goes...

I've never had much luck with realationships,whenever things seem to be going well suddenly it all goes haywire.I have had six relationships in 24yrs the longest lasting 17yrs,but of that i have been separated 10yrs.I have been used,abused lied to and treated like a sex slave.I've suffered depression and anxiety for about 15yrs but am managing it,i also have had low self esteem issues due to being sexually abused as a child.


What i am trying to get at is i have never had the confidence to go man hunting to put it mildly.I have always let the man come to me.Since deciding to divorce my abusive husband i have been thinking about starting a new relationship,but how to go about it,as i have been out of the dating scene for 18years.

I have been living at my current residence for 17yrs and there is a man who has lived three doors down from me for the past 10yrs.We have never spoken in all that time,but in the past couple of months we have kept bumping into each other in the street,mainly at the bus stop and started chatting to each other.I was suprised at how much he knew about me,i asked him a while ago if he wanted to come over to my house for a coffee and a chat,and he did the other evening.We chatted about our favourite TV shows and other trivial things,then i walked back to his gate with him and invited him over for dinner.

He's very quiet and shy and lives alone and my children think he is nice(they hated my last boyfriend)I like him alot too he is a few years older than me and reminds me of a gentle giant ,he has kind blue eyes which attract me to him.As i said earlier i'm not one to pursue men,but if i wait for him to make the first move i could be waiting forever.I waited 2 months for him to come over for a chat.WHAT should i do, i don't want to seem too needy or pushy,i just want to start a friendship in the hope it will develop into something more down the track

[Brandye]

You have made the most difficult steps. Recognize that he is as unsure as you are. Be welcoming, try to relax and be natural. For another "date" or so simply be happy with him. If he does not make a real move after that, then arrange seating that puts you in close proximity and open up the girl secrets book.

Keep in mind that he has lived alone for a loooong time and there is likely a reason for that. Perhaps just shyness for which you can help; perhaps other issues to be learned.

[raunchy gal]

Good advice Brandye,but Aphrodite seems almost as shy and nervous as the man down the street.What kind of girl secrets should she try if all else fails?I am also looking to start afresh after a failed relationship