I am sexually starved, and I'm thinking about cheating on my man..

[Hassasinah]

We started out so unbelievably good. I had never experienced such wild and intens sex before, and I loved it. But there has been a few years passing, and now I'm lucky if I get 3 min. with him grunting on top of me a couple of times a month.. We are stil in our 20s, and I've tried everything to get the heat going again, but he just gets worse. I've been satisfied with the shower and some toys for a few years now, but there is a guy at work who has started to push my buttens lately.. I don't want to leave my man, but I'm going crazy with lust, and this other guy can't keep hes hands of me, and that drives me crazy! And the worst part is that this other guy and I both have a partner at home, and just want to play... I am going mad soon, and if he keeps touching me like he does I won't be able to hold back anymore.. What am I supposed to do??

[Brandye]

Demand that your husband attend marital counseling with you.
Change jobs.
Leave your husband.
Find a girlfriend in the same place.
What fits your place in life?

[dancingdoc2]

> I am going mad soon, and if he keeps touching me like he does I won't be able to hold back anymore.. What am I supposed to do??

Put up boundaries and don't let him keep touching you like he does.

> We are stil in our 20s, and I've tried everything to get the heat going again, but he just gets worse.

> I don't want to leave my man, but I'm going crazy with lust, and this other guy can't keep hes hands of me, and that drives me crazy!

Let's look at the logic:
* This new guy can't keep his hands off of you.
* You enjoy the attention so do not put up any boundaries for proper behavior
* You do not want to leave your man yet would rather stay in a damaged relationship rather than work on a solution
* You do not want to leave your man yet would rather cheat on him with someone else who is also cheating on his mate. Do two wrongs make a right?

Now, all this said what if you discovered that your man had been cavorting with some woman? Do I need to ask what your reaction would be if at all typical? (Why put his wife/s.o in such a position as the other woman?)

If you are not going to attempt a fix for what is broken, then I personally do not believe your man is worthy of you regardless of your problems. I agree with Brandye and believe if you want to be happy, either work on fixing your existing relationship, or, work on ending it before beginning a new one. If you find it easier to be in lust with a new guy who you complain can't keep his hands off of you, yet do nothing to rein him in then it is my never to be so humble opinion that you are more of a disappointment than your man.

[dancingdoc2]

P.S.

Then the right and proper things to do are either:
A. Accept what is and the way your relationship is--no complaining
B. Find out from your man what is going on in his head

You may not want to leave him; however, it has been said that when there is a relationship problem, sex is 90% of the cause. When things are going well, sex is 10% of the reason.

1. You need to determine if he is no longer interested in you romantically.
2. The two of you need to determine if there are hormonal reasons for his apparently low libido.
3. Does he in fact have a low libido or is he "hiding" from you not unlike you are from him.

If you learn that he is no longer romantically interested, then what useful purpose is there for you to remain with him?

[sensualGoddess]

I think it depends ultimately what you want to do...

There's what organized religion says...don't commit adultery...and then there is what human beings do need in life...intimacy.

I honestly say, intuition.

It is interesting that you posted this because it was something I considered briefly...should I cheat on my man to fulfill what was lacking?

Here is a problem I find this.

I believe in the whole "do unto others as you would have done to you" statement.

How would you feel if you were cheated on? Would you have a problem with this?

If you truly value yourself as a whole person, you might have a problem of cheating, you might not. What I do know is while men do have feelings as well, if he isn't really paying attention to your own feelings...there is a lot to think about.

Ultimately, it is up to you on what you decide to do.

It's tough, it's a tug and pull scenario, but if you feel that you need to do something, consider all options...pros and cons.

[dancingdoc2]

Now! that reply is full of arrogance, intelligence, and, insight.

"Damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead!" "I want what I want when I want it, and who cares about consequences or who gets hurt along the way."

[EvilEvilKitten]

You have to figure out what is going on with your current male BEFORE you even contemplate taking on this new male at work because the sex with this new male will also erode and become nothing after the initial thrill is gone. The allure of 'cheating' never lasts and you will end up bouncing from this 'other man' to another 'other man' until you are discovered and your current man dumps you.

All of which leaves the problem in your current relationship "un-fixed".

TALK with your current man - the one at home. Do not let him off lightly. Tell him how this inactivity and bang-bang sex is simply not fulfilling your needs. Seek solutions WITHIN your current relationship. And stop accepting those 3 minutes of grunting sex - that's just appeasement. The message is "Come to me with fire in your eyes and desire for me in your heart or don't come at all."

Love as you live UNSTINTINGLY!