Meeting younger women.

[Feynman]

Thanks for the advise, a club is a very good idea. You are fairly accurate I your assessment, it was late at night when I was posting before so I did not go in to enough depth. I'm actually going to repost a new thread that has that is more detailed of the situation and my problem.

[Feynman]

I finished high school at fourteen (almost 15), I actually did not graduate although I was ahead a couple of years, I dropped out because I was bored and a few other things involving a University I really wanted to attend at the time. After, I lied about my age and got a full time job working in a restaurant. I spent some time out of school because I had grown to hate academia. After a little bit of time I went an started taking class at a local collage. I was not the nerdy guy that spent all my time studying, in fact my first two years of collage I rarely went to class and never really did home work, although I did pull good grades. The entire time I was working as a cook full time.

I transferred to a top university because of one of my professors at the collage I was taking class at took an interest in me and wrote a letter to a professor he knew in the math department to get me in. I don't live on campuses and never have really been that involved with school. For the past few years I have lied about my age to everyone. Everyone in know is at least in there twenties with the exception of a girl I'm close to back home who is 18 (but that is another story). I have had a couple sexual relationships in the past but none of them had any idea how young I was, and none of them really meant anything because they were based on lies.

I'm am now 18 and in my senior year of a Mathematics major and a large university, but every one I know thinks I am at least 20. I would now like to be honest about how old I am and maybe start a relationship with someone my own age that knows how old I am. The problem is that I can't seem to meet and get along with people my own age. I'm having trouble meeting younger people because the groups I'm in are all older. To a certain degree I also have trouble connecting with most people my age because to be honest I have more life experience then most people my age. So I guess my question is how to a go about having a more normal social life?

[raunchy gal]

I think you're pretty normal,apart from being a genius,perhaps you are mature enough for your age to date women a little older than you.Most women(i'm one of them)like going out with younger men.The youngest i've actually dated was 5yrs younger than me.I don't know why it is but younger guys have always been attracted to me.Just do what feels comfortable for you and hopefully you will not have to keep lying about your age.I always find honesty to be the best policy,and i can't stand liars and cheaters.

[dancingdoc2]

"Thank you for the clarification.

Now, take the above information that has been given, above, and apply it."

[Feynman]

Thanks doc but your advise is not really helpful. But a genuine thanks to raunchy girl and humble for actually reading my post and not just suggesting that I just need to meet people.

[dancingdoc2]

> Where is the best place to meet girls who are around 18?
> I'm more interested in meeting people in real life.

I'm genuinely confused, didn't you ask where to meet girls around your age and didn't I provide a few suggestions?
(Check out organizations and clubs on campus that have both men and women members. Consider joining one or more. Dances and dance classes thru the P.E. department; Coffee houses; Sororities? Particularly service ones. Ask friends if they know of anybody ... who is interested in dating and then to introduce you.)

Please do not suggest that after providing over 6,000 replies in five years that for some reason I did not read your post.

I'm done here.

[Feynman]

Your first post was helpful, so yes thank you. I did not mean to imply that your post was not. Just that it was irritating you reposting that I should just look at the answers above twice after others had posted and after I was trying to convey that the problem is bigger then my original post. I apologizes, I did not mean to offend. You do give some very good advise on this site.

[funinthesun]

I believe the point of Doc's follow up post was that regardless of the issues you might have - you should still start with those same places. The things you mentioned simply make them more uncomfortable and difficult for you.

College dance clubs are full of awkward math and science majors who are looking to gain more social skills - girls included.

Please avoid getting into arguments over the importance of proper modification of Lagrangian multipliers while at those social events.

Things will be awkward, and they will continue to be awkward with a fair share of embarrassment, but eventually you'll get over it and they will all improve if you keep at it or you won't and things will just get worse as you age without maturing while people's standards keep increasing. Up to you.

[RedRoses]

Originally Posted by Feynman

I finished high school at fourteen (almost 15), I actually did not graduate although I was ahead a couple of years, I dropped out because I was bored and a few other things involving a University I really wanted to attend at the time. After, I lied about my age and got a full time job working in a restaurant. I spent some time out of school because I had grown to hate academia. After a little bit of time I went an started taking class at a local collage. I was not the nerdy guy that spent all my time studying, in fact my first two years of collage I rarely went to class and never really did home work, although I did pull good grades. The entire time I was working as a cook full time.

I transferred to a top university because of one of my professors at the collage I was taking class at took an interest in me and wrote a letter to a professor he knew in the math department to get me in. I don't live on campuses and never have really been that involved with school. For the past few years I have lied about my age to everyone. Everyone in know is at least in there twenties with the exception of a girl I'm close to back home who is 18 (but that is another story). I have had a couple sexual relationships in the past but none of them had any idea how young I was, and none of them really meant anything because they were based on lies.

I'm am now 18 and in my senior year of a Mathematics major and a large university, but every one I know thinks I am at least 20. I would now like to be honest about how old I am and maybe start a relationship with someone my own age that knows how old I am. The problem is that I can't seem to meet and get along with people my own age. I'm having trouble meeting younger people because the groups I'm in are all older. To a certain degree I also have trouble connecting with most people my age because to be honest I have more life experience then most people my age. So I guess my question is how to a go about having a more normal social life?

Dear Feynman, I just want to let you know that there are more people out there feeling unable to connect with people their own age. Although my story is very different, I can relate to that; I have been feeling such way since primary school actually. I have had older friends, who'd leave me aside, once they got to find out about my age. People my age would leave me aside, cause I was "awkward" from their point of view. I was always considered years older, but never lied about it. And I've tried bloody hard to find friends...

I don't know if this works for you, but you never know, so allow me to share:

First thing I did was letting go of the "age" aspect. What is it anyways? It's only a number! As you've noticed it doesn't say anything about life-experience. People all go through their lives in different ways, at a different pace, have goals, have dreams. What matters is that you connect with a person. And if that person is too shallow to accept your true age, than that's a pitty, but maybe not that connected after all...

Second, what I noticed was that it took a way of remaining positive and open to the possibility that someone would make friends with me (at all times!). In any place, in any way, at any time. Going places is good, yet: you would be surprised in how many places you just bump into people. I don't know about you, but I had a tendency of becoming overly suspicious, since I did encounter some "fake" friends, who wanted to use me for something. Leaving me with an attitude of: "Ok, what does this person want from me now?" Well, that doesn't make friends It's like you've allready blown up the bridge between yourself and him/her, guaranteeing no possibility of actually meeting...

Third, I relied more an my instincts and gutfeeling. Being always bizzy in my head, makes me more likely to rely on patterns, trying to "see" patterns. Do you share such feeling? If so, I'd advice you to leave your head on the counter sometimes and just pick up "vibes". The only pattern I found was that my instincts really pick up on anything Which could be: possible friendship, but also: no, this person is up to no good. You can only truely pick this up after being "open".

Fourth, I let go of being eager to find friends. Once I had let go of searching and trying, it came naturally. Just like the ladybugs under the Tuscan sun (for anyone who knows that movie ) And my friends became more truthfully and close as well. Since I wasn't tempted to "present" myself, just "be" myself.

That would be the last: Be yourself and be proud of it!

I can't tell you it works like "magic". I can't tell you you won't be facing difficulties along the way. This advice is not as straightforward nor includes "tips & tricks". I guess it's more about developing an attitude of looking at the world. You would be surprised how much your "inner view" shows towards the outside, clear for the world to see. I hope this post includes something that could help you on your way

[raunchy gal]

Good advice RedRoses.I used to hang out with younger kids as they accepted and liked me.Kids my age and older teased me about my looks,clothes ect.I was shy,awkward and a loner.I used to hang out in the library at school and read to the younger kids.I found that even my younger brothers friends were attracted to me,and i ended up dating a couple of them who were 3-6 years younger.Even my husband was younger than me though not by much.I'ts just numbers after all ,and it's the way we present ourselves to others that matters.