need help with ex

[tank5617]

ok just to start off ive been single for about a month and a half. When my ex girlfriend broke up with me i was very sad. But after bout a week i wasn't sad just kinda anger.but to get to the point i've talked to her a few times and i REALLY DONT like her.but when i think of the past, when we had fun i get sad sometimes then its gone like i was never sad.But usally the only way to get it off my mind is to be talking to other people, mostly a friend thats been their for me since i got dumped(by the way shes a GREAT FRIEND!!!LOL) . But to sum it all up am i over my ex.I feel like it but i dont wanna get in another relationship and fuck it up to.Then id be EXTREMELY sad
but any advice would help.THX

[dancingdoc2]

You are probably "getting over" your girlfriend. Depending upon the intensity of emotions, and, the duration of the relationship, it can take several months or more to get over a past relationship. Please read the articles in the Index that discuss dating. There are also a couple of recent threads on the subject you can use the search engine for.

You are right not to want to rush into a new relationship; however, having said that, this does not mean that you shouldn't maintain friendships and add new people to your list of friends. We all need to be around people and to socialize.

Now, having said all this, much has been written about open vs. closed or exclusive relationships with a girl or boy. Experts generally are in agreement that dating is and should be an open equal opportunity adventure. This means dating should be about having fun and going out with lots of different people, and, learning about others and how they behave toward you, others, and in public. Dating should not begin and end with the first warm body who expresses an interest in us. Dating should be about finding Mr. or Ms. Right from among the many different people Mother Nature has to offer.

Dating may last one or two times, several will last much longer, a few even longer, and in the end only one will become a keeper. Dating is designed to end sometime. If you have an exclusive relationship with someone, the drama and trauma are much greater and you limit your options and opportunities. If two people want to eventually become exclusive it can be accomplished by behavior, not a declaration.

As for doing better next time over the last time, this is strictly a learning experience and another reason we date and should date lots of people, as well as having lots of friends. Human interactions are dynamic, meaning, their management varies from day to day depending upon a person's moods, and circumstances. It is best to learn basic principles for interacting with others in a positive manner. Your principles will guide you. This does not mean you or I won't make some mistakes along the way, it simply means our self governing principles will help us to treat others well, and to do right by others, and, to be open to the ideas, suggestions, and needs of others. It is not that you make a mistake, it is all about learning from each, and in how you dust yourself off and go on.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[tank5617]

thx doc lately i dont know why but my friends that are girl especially one of them im getting closer to.we talk alot and shes helpd me through the break up but im not willing to date her because i dont wanna risk our great relationship. but im pretty positive she likes me. but i dont wanna rush into another relationship & screw it up and be back where i was. but dont get me wrong she's BEAUTIFUL.

[EvilEvilKitten]

tank - no disparagement intended but you have heard of REBOUND relationships, yes? But not only that - guys tend to invest all the beauty and virtues possible in a woman who fulfills that "rebound need" at least during the rebound period. Just how it is.

So waiting in this situation is precisely what you should do.

[tank5617]

yea i am waiting i dont wanna ruin everything