The Young baby momma ?

[anonymust]

In a nut shell....
I meet a girl, had sex with her 4 times, and she's been hidding the fact that she is a mother of a 5 year old... (or maybe ashamed)

But i managed to get the clues figure out... she visits her daughter and baby daddy like every day (she lives in the same apartment building as them)

At the momment everything was good... untill she got herself in debt from government! they dropped some heavy fines on her ass...


Baby daddy knows about me, and they "broke up" like 10 months ago, the only thing that keeps them "together" is the child.

Since she's in debt now, she cant buy food for herself so she goes to baby daddy every day and eats/cook his food....

Now im not supposed to be jealous.. but baby daddy is jealous!

Baby daddy kindly asked her not to SEE ME? WTF!!!1

So i say imma keep my distance.. and let them be.. but i know what he has done to hurt her! (emailing pics/videos online)....

ok ook ok.. my point..

She gave the best sex ever in my life! and im missing her for 3 weeks now! lol

what can I do to get her back into my bed? ( i cant visit her anymore she kindly ask's because baby daddy is a little to jealous)

[dancingdoc2]

> I meet a girl, had sex with her 4 times, and she's been hidding the fact that she is a mother of a 5 year old.

How soon after meeting her did the sex begin?

> But i managed to get the clues figure out.

No relationship will likely be successful and fulfilling without developing communication. That you had sex, first, and still do not have communication raises the first red flag.

"baby daddy"? The five y/o is not a baby. Better me thinks to refer to this man as her daughter's father.

> she got herself in debt from government! they dropped some heavy fines on her ass.

The government got her in debt, or, did she mismanage or not have the funds to pay taxes or other obligations?

Has she contacted the government agency to see what payment plan can be worked out? That's first; certainly not ignoring the fact.

> the only thing that keeps them "together" is the child.

Plus the following:

> Since she's in debt now, she cant buy food for herself so she goes to baby daddy every day and eats/cook his food....

So, there are two things that keep them together....

> So i say imma keep my distance.. and let them be.. but i know what he has done to hurt her!

What he has done is their business. Their daughter is their business. That they have unfinished business is their business. Unless and until she takes steps to live independently by looking into government assistance, then she is certainly not ready for another relationship. Until she finishes her relationship with her ex- {boyfriend or husband) my recommendation is to distance yourself.

Their child is five y/o, experts generally agree that a parent with minor child(ren) (custodial or not) not begin another relationship until the last child is eighteen and out of the house. At her age she is on the border as to whether she will ever bond with you. Having two "fathers", is confusing at best. Traveling between households, and often with different rules, is unsettling and confusing to children.

Add to this the fact that second relationships, rebound relationships, have a very high failure rate. Subjecting a child to this is not good and is why the rule of 18 applies.

Whether a woman has a child or not, I would not become involved until such time as this person has her life in order and has lived independently for quite some time.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[anonymust]

Thanks for the info...

Well yea since she had the child at age 16 (teenage pregnancy) she was still considered a minor .. and the father was 20 so.. father really has custody of the child

And yea, she got issues with government (because of this child) she's busy tring to get her education but government is like ok time to pay us back for all the money we gave you to care for your daughter)

I figured much that I was a rebound ...... something to get all her trouble's and ex off her mind..
Bu life is a beach man , you swim and then you drown.....

but i really dont wanna let her go!
she's the last person i had sex with within a full year!

And damn! she does stuff other girls never did with me!

i'm still 24 and i say at least i can get some "sexperience" with her so who ever i move onto next will love me and consider me a "sexpert" or something..

I just dont wanna lose the sex basically (this is me being selfish)

[EvilEvilKitten]

Hey OP - yes you're selfish and until you stop being selfish, you will never be a 'sexpert'.

1. You're no more ready for a relationship than she is - rebound or otherwise.
2. MOVE ON - this girl's NFY - (not for you) and she has too much going on in her messed-up life to have time for you anyway.
3. Get on with building the life of your dreams, focus on that until you can find the time to date as many women as you can talk into it and this time - wait for the sex, get the communication down first.

BTW - if the lady's not up front about her status - she's NFY - move on.

[Grim]

Do you really want to be a part of the mess that is this poor girl's life?

I suggest you move on.

[dancingdoc2]

> i'm still 24 and i say at least i can get some "sexperience" with her so who ever i move onto next will love me and consider me a "sexpert" or something..

"Or something?" This reminds me of the saying: "Do you think I'm stupid--or something?" What is the "something"?

I view "something" in your statement as being very shallow and self-serving. Your desire will only work if this is what she wants, also. If all you want are extreme orgasms along with a good romp in the hay each time, then this is selfish unless this is her intent, also. Please understand that it is very easy for guys to have sex for sex sake, while for women, this often comes at a very high cost to their psyche. More than becoming a world class lover {sexpert) you need to learn from her why she is in this relationship and what she hopes will come from it.

> i really dont wanna let her go! she's the last person i had sex with within a full year!

Oh, woe is me.... The purpose of dating is to sample what humanity has to offer us in potential mates. Dating should not begin and end with the first warm body who comes along. By dating lots of people, each of you will be better able to spot Mr./Ms. Right when s/he comes along. Within the process, you will learn about various likes, dislikes, whims, goals, objectives, moral and religious values, ideals, etc. The more people a person dates, the less likely there will be a divorce down the road.

> I just dont wanna lose the sex basically

OK, but equally as important is what does she want, or do you care?

> And damn! she does stuff other girls never did with me!

So, go find others. Sex is but one aspect of a relationship! Right? Without the other aspects, the sex is going to be a short-term activity. Then what?

Chapter Four:
MORE: From bungling student to graduating Lover Cum Laude
Scroll down to this chapter.

Chapter Five (also has its own separate link):
HELP! S/He is more EXPERIENCED! To which I say:

Another path toward becoming a world class lover is to read and absorb the information in the other articles listed in the Index found at the top of the main screen. Why not begin, now?

Comments? Questions?

-doc

[dancingdoc2]

> what can I do to get her back into my bed?

Be her driver and run taxi service for her.

That said, I believe as do others, that the best recommendations are up above.

[GreyShadow]

I'm not a doc or a trained councilor..just a guy that has a few relationship scars.
But I have to say your situation is raising so many red flags it looks like a mayday parade!

Me, I'd run! run far, run fast! not look back...this has all the ear marks of train wreck in progress....

imho

[Stepanie]

Most often rebound relationships fails for some reasons, if you are just missing her because of the sexual pleasure she an give you then stop it give the girl a life, do you really have a strong feeling for her or its just all about sex that is on your mind.