Sex just sex, or lead to love?

[springfever]

...I'm not sure quite how to start this question...

Basically, I'm wondering if having sex with someone (for males and females...although in my case I'm wondering about a male) as apposed to oral, foreplay etc. can lead to greatly increased feelings of attraction/dependence/love??

I wonder if this could happen, through evolutionary aspects. In that by having sex, you are (even if not in every circumstance today) "mating" with the prospect of offspring, as opposed to friends/kissing/oral etc. For this reason, evolutionary speaking, you would want to look after "mate", in the intent of raising successful offspring.

Anyway..I had heard this was the case for females, but not males. I wonder if anyone had personal experiences or research about this.

The reason I bring this up...it's a long story. But in short, Virgin girl meets boy, boy and girl, on-off/ friend with benefits relationship (no sex). Continues for around 6 months, guy strings along, go out for short period, but realize a relationship will not work. Girl thinks they are both back in friends/fwb boat. Guy doesn't seem bothered with relationship etc. They have sex. All of a sudden guy is texting, wanting to meet up more, wanting to be with her, not saying in so many words, but indicating he loves her. Girl just saw it as sex (Which is rubbish for my 1st time, but hey, I guess it's the 1st time with individuals that count :? ...thats another story)

...I figured it was meant to be the other way around..? lol (stereotypically)

Sorry if this is in the wrong thread.

[springfever]

side note: He hadn't had sex in over a year before this if it changes anything. I think it is more the fact we had sex, then him actually really liking ME as all this happened after. I feel like a bit of a cow for my responses to him, but I had no idea he had these feelings :/

[Brandye]

There was a recent study published by some University in New York in which it was found that women pay dearly in mental health for casual sex. The explanation is that we tend to equate sex with deeper meaning than men do. Perhaps, I am an exception. I have come close to marriage but have never felt any particular emotional connection, through sex, to any of my partners. One exception would be a woman whom I have known all my life and who, for many years, I considered a primary partner.

In short, we women are more likely to fall into this trap than are men for whom casual sex, in may cases, is exactly that.

[RedRoses]

I'm really no expert on casual sex, as I never did... But I would like to reply, because I'd like to contribute on the question about love and sex. I do feel a particular emotional connection through sex Every time we have sex, the emotional bonding gets deeper and deeper. Almost unbearable at times, I must confess, but that's exactly what makes it feel so good-better-best . It's not like everytime it's the same feeling, though. Sometimes it's as simple as affirming the love I feel. But there's always emotional connection, whether I want it or not (and that may be inconvenient as well )

And if a woman can, why can't a man? Not saying it's evolutionary or the typical thing to feel, but why not?

Sorry to say this, cause I know this situation must be difficult for you, but it's actually kind-off cute in a way: him indicating he loves you Could be another explanation though: perhaps he thinks you're a great girl and you had great sex, so he'd like to see more of both? Or is that definitely impossible?

Anyways: I don't think you should 'feel like a bit of a cow', cause like you said: you didn't know he was (going to) have such feelings. So please, don't feel bad! Maybe you just need to have a little talk with him about what's happening... Just to get it straight?