says she doesnt want a bf

[duh477]

This girl that I have went out with and came over to my house a few times and I went over hers is really cool and fun to be around. The other night I told her that I have never had a gf in my life and im 22. She said that its not worth it. She told me that she has had alot of boyfriends and that it just never worked and she doesnt really want a boyfriend. I didnt really know how to responded to this. I should have just asked her why then does she want to go out with me? Does she just like me as a friend bc we have a good time? Is she just using me? Or is she trying to figure out if im BF material? She has said stuff to me about how im good looking and maybe sometime she would want to sleep in my bed. She is just confusing me I dont know if she likes me or if she is just using me to to hangout and get drinks for free.

[RedRoses]

Really, there's no telling what she wants. It does not need to be that she's using you. Could be she really likes you as a friend. Who knows! She may also be just as confused as you are (consciously or not)

Maybe it's a bad example, but here it goes: When my boyfriend was still just my friend we talked about addiction. He told me there's no thing he would like to be addicted to, except cuddles and sex. My reaction was, so to speak, not friendly at all! (don't know why exactly, jumping to conclusions I guess) But; another evening I held his hand, while talking to him (he told me later this was the moment for him that he really fell in love. It was a personal conversation and apparently I just did). I told him just about everything, really was my best friend at the time. You see, I gave him totally confusing signals. And I had no intention of doing that nor did I look at him in any other way than as 'just' a good friend, I had no idea

You know this girl. Use your instincts; does it really feel like she sees you as potential Bf? Is she making up her mind? Not thinking about it at all? Just take your time to get to know her a little better. Really, don't start pushing things. Especially considering her remark on bf's. Maybe she's been hurt. Trust her and let her trust you. Pick up vibes. But really: love is a peculiar thing, without being predictable. And if it doesn't turn out to be your girlfriend, you may just have found yourself a real great friend! :-)

And how did my example turn out? Instead of telling me his feelings, he just moved a little closer and started petting my back gently, while we were talking one evening. I immediately melted for that sweet touch, though very confused, I was all the sudden in love, without him saying a word

[Brandye]

You are 22 and we shall assume she is about the same. They average age for a woman's marriage is 26 years and 10 months; men's, a little later. The typical age for a woman's is between 18-20th birthdays; men's slightly younger. That leaves seven or eight years of dating around for a woman and a bit more for a man.

Not every date is a preparation for marriage to THAT one. You seem to be rushing things. So, if you are being used, you are also gaining experience. If we married everyone we dated, or even screwed, most people would have many more spouses than people do. Any or all of the answers you posit are possible. So what?

[EvilEvilKitten]

She likes you - why is that so hard to understand?
The point here is that liking you does not HAVE to go any further than that.
She likes you. She likes spending time with you.
As long as you like her and enjoy spending time with her - be happy!

[RedRoses]

Not trying to offend anyone in anyway. But why did marriage come up? Perhaps I've misunderstood something... And why the age? She's young enough to be called 'girl' anyways (and not a little girl: hi, hi! ) Personally: I think age is overrated. I've never let age get in my way; friendship or relationship.

O, and thanx EEK for putting my many words in short And Duh477: have fun!

[Rouge]

It means that for now she doesn't want a boyfriend, but enjoys your company. It doesn't have to lead to anything at all.

[duh477]

We have hung out about 5-6 times in the last few weeks, would it be a bad idea if next time we she comes over, If I told her she has the option to stay over stay over night and bring her pajamas if she wants?

[whyyknott]

This seems pushy for me and probably why she doesn't want a boyfriend. Inviting her like this appears to you just wanting to hurry and get into her pants. You need to let it happen more on her schedule if things are going to get physical. I think she just wants a guy to hang out with without the expectations of boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, but more as two people who just enjoy doing things together.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Agreed. Don't say anything - just roll with her hanging out because she likes you.

[duh477]

thats fine with me, I am just worried that she might be wondering why I havent tried to kiss her or make any move and she will get bored.