sitting far away

[duh477]

I went out with a girl I know from class we are both college seniors last week and had a great time. She was the most fun girl I have ever been around. We had a great time and I went over to her apartment a few nights ago. She had a two seat couch and I was sitting one one side and she was sitting kind of far away. I put my arm around her and pulled her closer and she sat close to me for a few minutes but when she got up and came back she sat further away again. I dont understand sometimes she will touch me or hit my leg and stuff but I dont understand why she didnt want to sit close to me?

[dancingdoc2]

that "she's just not that into you" yet.

Slow down and give her time to become comfortable in your presence.

If warming up to you is going to happen it will, and in her time frame, not yours.

Please consider that although you seem like a nice guy in public, she has no clue what you may be like in private. A polite separation is part protection from potentially groping hands or worse, as well as simply not being ready quite yet to let you into her "space". (BTW, the definition of "my space" is 18" behind you, 12" on either side, and 24" in front of you. The reason it is closer on the sides is because if you and other people are standing in the isle while riding a bus, you do not generally have eye contact with them so they can be closer and not be "invasive".)

My suggestion for building closeness and thus intimacy is to work up to it.

Walking-
A. smiles and eye contact
B. laughter
C. reaching out and holding hands
D. holding hands and moving a bit closer
E. hand on waist

Driving-
A., B., & C.
D. Bringing her hand to your leg (not your crotch--yet)
E. Gently and periodically caressing her fingers, hand, wrist

Build upon these over the course of several dates.

> I put my arm around her and pulled her closer and she sat close to me for a few minutes but when she got up and came back she sat further away again.

Try the opposite. While walking, and when appropriate to place an arm around her waist, do so lightly and not too closely. Let her become accustomed to this degree of closeness. If you say something funny and she looks at you and smiles and/or laughs, pull her in more tightly and with a slight albeit temporary squeeze. If she wants to remain close, she will, yet do not hold on so tightly that she cannot move back to her comfort zone if desired.

While sitting, move closer to her instead of pulling her toward you. The same caveats apply.

> I dont understand sometimes she will touch me or hit my leg and stuff but I dont understand why she didnt want to sit close to me?

This is "girl speak" using body language. She is showing slight affection and approval without it being too much familiarity too soon. Continue to be warm, kind, fun, and, friendly, and in time she will want the additional closeness if there is chemistry between you. She interprets being pulled in close to you as demanding. It is better to move closer to her while giving her an exit if needed in the beginning.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

-doc

[Rouge]

She doesn't want to move too fast, and over time will warm up to you, if she decides to go further with anything.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Quite right. the lady is checking you out and seeing what your CHARACTER is like.

[duh477]

This girl is also very open. She has told me alot about her sexual history. Such as stories about getting drunk and not remembering having sex. She has told me about these but I didnt ask. Is she just a very open person or is she just trying to figure out if I care about her past? Which I dont I like her because she is fun to be around and all the other stuff doesnt matter to me.

[Rouge]

Assuming she's a teen or in her early 20's, I doubt her "past" means that much to her right now. Most girls in this age range are open about sex, so don't take it as a sign of anything.