what is she looking for?

[duh477]

This girl that I asked out that I thought had a boyfriend but she doesnt so I plan on going out with her this week. She said that she doesnt think she cant handle or doesnt want a boyfriend now. Shes so cute and really fun to be around she almost like one of my guy friends I cant believe she even wants anything to do with me. But if she is still going to go out with me what exactly does she want and what is she looking to get out of us?

[Brandye]

No one can answer that. Live for now and ask her if things go on for a while.

[dancingdoc2]

> She said that she doesnt think she cant handle or doesnt want a boyfriend now.

Did you mean "can" or can't? Presuming "can", then what she probably wants is time.

> But if she is still going to go out with me what exactly does she want and what is she looking to get out of us?

I frequently tell new members of our community that the act of dating should not begin and end with the first warm body who expresses an interest in us. Dating should be an ongoing process in order to learn what humanity has to offer and what we find desirable in others that we would choose in a potential mate.

When done correctly, people will come and people will go, some will last thru several months of dating, and, ultimately one or two will be keepers. For those people we date once, share a dinner and conversation, then for whatever reason one or the other of you decides not not to pursue a further relationship the important concept to understand is that you hopefully enjoyed dinner and conversation, learned something you did not know, and did not have to stay home alone and watch TV. You should know going into a first or second date that it may not go further. DO NOT take it personally.

To answer your question, she is looking for possible friendship, or, she is looking for a nice dinner partner and good conversation. Depending upon how the first date goes, maybe more of the same all without pressure to become boyfriend and girlfriend and committed.

You must understand that you can be boyfriend and girlfriend with somebody all without "commitment". If you use "Implied Consent" as outlined in one of the articles then "commitment" is implied and will be in place for as long as the relationship serves the needs of the two involved, all without the drama and trauma involved when locked in and "owned" by the other.

A successful relationship is built in part upon friendship, if more is to come of the friendship, then the foundation is in place. All too often guys want commitment without having built a foundation for the friendship and this often leads to strife and dissent.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Good lord you're moving way too fast with this 'boyfriend' thing!!! You haven't had your first date yet - Give it a rest!

The girl wants to have a bit of relaxed fun with a guy she thinks she might like.

Isn't that enough for now?

[dlb]

Maybe she just wants to hang out with a guy that she finds attractive and interesting. Get to know her. Do things, go places with her. You will figure out where she wants to go with it or she will tell you-maybe straight out or subtly.